'One Team' and all that.
It just does my head that I'm the one having to lecture an entire team on not just fixing 'the big things'.
and if you're saying "we dont have capacity" for months on end then you're doing something really wrong.

"Why is your product so slow!? We've done nothing on our side!"

6 weeks this change has been slowing down the entire front end.
6 weeks, and it's because a dev wrote a *stupid fucking query* that was in no way optimised and then just released it to live.

*cry*

I honestly don't know.
This is the same developer who said 'I've got a theory about why this is happening' and then wasted a week on his theory - But hadn't bothered replicating the error first, OR looking at the logs.
*sigh*

I thought I would grow a mighty dwarf esque beard, Only to discover that my beard at a certain point looks like I sleep with curlers in it. :)

Me : Hey, Ive added a simple checklist to onboarding/offboarding tickets to help me keep track of what needs to be done, People might find it useful.
Everyone else: Yeah… *ignore*
18 months later.
$NewManager: we need a checklist for on/offboarding.
Everyone: Great Idea!

Fuck Me Sideways

…

“What about you then?”
“Well, Its a bit of a mouthful (hur hur) So the guys just call me Boss for short.”
“Whats it mean?”
“Bisbane Orchestra String Section. I’m a really big music fan”

*later*
*Support Ticket* "Hi, we would like some details around $Product - What codecs does it support, how does it protect against Pron!?"

*reads ticket*
*escalates to management* : I would like an OFFICIAL response to this ticket please - and its your problem now motherfucker.