my oura ring telling me i’m the most relaxed when shawn and i are hanging out together. hey.
January 2, 2026 at 3:03 AM
my oura ring telling me i’m the most relaxed when shawn and i are hanging out together. hey.
love when the valet looks to shawn for the tip. i drove us here, i have your money. come get it baby.
January 2, 2026 at 12:33 AM
love when the valet looks to shawn for the tip. i drove us here, i have your money. come get it baby.
whenever a beautiful friend of mine leaves her shitty military bf i scream WARRRR IS OOOOVER
December 31, 2025 at 3:03 PM
whenever a beautiful friend of mine leaves her shitty military bf i scream WARRRR IS OOOOVER
i got to have TWO big fun paychecks before my big mean husband made me put a big chunk into retirement. BOOOO IM GOING TO DIE AT 37 THIS DOESNT MATTER
December 31, 2025 at 3:33 AM
i got to have TWO big fun paychecks before my big mean husband made me put a big chunk into retirement. BOOOO IM GOING TO DIE AT 37 THIS DOESNT MATTER
in 2026 i will be discovering BEANS.
December 29, 2025 at 7:55 PM
in 2026 i will be discovering BEANS.
why would i sleep peacefully when i could, instead, dream that i start a fire that burns down not only my home but every home in the row. wow sensational.
December 29, 2025 at 1:01 PM
why would i sleep peacefully when i could, instead, dream that i start a fire that burns down not only my home but every home in the row. wow sensational.
Reposted by a goose
in 2026 we are NOT hustling, we are NOT grinding, we are doing just enough Job to have money for Video Game
December 27, 2025 at 5:22 AM
in 2026 we are NOT hustling, we are NOT grinding, we are doing just enough Job to have money for Video Game
my MIL got my SIL a cute sweater & i asked if she could send me the link for it. she sent me the link AND a gift card so i could get it 🥺😭
December 27, 2025 at 10:44 PM
my MIL got my SIL a cute sweater & i asked if she could send me the link for it. she sent me the link AND a gift card so i could get it 🥺😭
doing our best at the office 🫡
December 23, 2025 at 4:12 PM
doing our best at the office 🫡
do you know what a JERK i feel like sending emails on 12/23. like yes it’s my job but i might as well sign off every email: sincerely, scrooge
December 23, 2025 at 4:03 PM
do you know what a JERK i feel like sending emails on 12/23. like yes it’s my job but i might as well sign off every email: sincerely, scrooge
imagine the immune systems mall santas need
December 23, 2025 at 12:04 AM
imagine the immune systems mall santas need
whole fam jet lagged in seattle. 7a nothing open. nothing to do but get hotel breakfast and watch home alone nooooo anything but thaaaaat
December 21, 2025 at 3:25 PM
whole fam jet lagged in seattle. 7a nothing open. nothing to do but get hotel breakfast and watch home alone nooooo anything but thaaaaat
me: you look like you’re about to tell your friend not to come to school tomorrow.
s: i would tell him that. tomorrow is sunday.
s: i would tell him that. tomorrow is sunday.
December 20, 2025 at 6:16 PM
me: you look like you’re about to tell your friend not to come to school tomorrow.
s: i would tell him that. tomorrow is sunday.
s: i would tell him that. tomorrow is sunday.
do not talk to me until i’ve had my morning digestive tea!!!!
December 19, 2025 at 2:48 PM
do not talk to me until i’ve had my morning digestive tea!!!!
i care about my job. my job cares about me. the house i bought is warm. the dog is soft. my husband makes me laugh. i get to live my dream every weekend. i have the 3 greatest girlfriends in the entire world.
methinks life does not get better than this.
methinks life does not get better than this.
December 17, 2025 at 3:09 AM
i care about my job. my job cares about me. the house i bought is warm. the dog is soft. my husband makes me laugh. i get to live my dream every weekend. i have the 3 greatest girlfriends in the entire world.
methinks life does not get better than this.
methinks life does not get better than this.
2 mins ago i said, almost time for a joe pick. HELL YEAHHHHHH
December 14, 2025 at 8:39 PM
2 mins ago i said, almost time for a joe pick. HELL YEAHHHHHH
i love this team and there is no other team for me. but they do age me 8 years every sunday.
December 14, 2025 at 7:18 PM
i love this team and there is no other team for me. but they do age me 8 years every sunday.
idk what the correct number of gym memberships is but it could be 3.
December 11, 2025 at 9:35 PM
idk what the correct number of gym memberships is but it could be 3.
been at my company for 3 years. tomorrow i meet my coworkers for the first time. i WILL be unsettling.
December 11, 2025 at 1:04 PM
been at my company for 3 years. tomorrow i meet my coworkers for the first time. i WILL be unsettling.
making my family a cookbook for xmas and commissioned a friend to design the cover bc AI ART IS NOT REAL. PAY A PAL YOU IDIOT.
December 11, 2025 at 12:29 AM
making my family a cookbook for xmas and commissioned a friend to design the cover bc AI ART IS NOT REAL. PAY A PAL YOU IDIOT.
babysitting my brother’s dog. 2 dogs in the house reminds me of what motherhood would be. absoLUTELY not.
December 10, 2025 at 12:50 PM
babysitting my brother’s dog. 2 dogs in the house reminds me of what motherhood would be. absoLUTELY not.
hippodrome doing both wicked & hadestown HNGGGG. i will be attending both of c
December 8, 2025 at 12:11 AM
hippodrome doing both wicked & hadestown HNGGGG. i will be attending both of c
Reposted by a goose
My cat, an idiot: Those ornaments look exactly like my toys. Why can’t I play with them?
Me, pinnacle of animals: That felt frog wearing a top hat is to celebrate The Lord
Me, pinnacle of animals: That felt frog wearing a top hat is to celebrate The Lord
December 3, 2023 at 1:13 AM
My cat, an idiot: Those ornaments look exactly like my toys. Why can’t I play with them?
Me, pinnacle of animals: That felt frog wearing a top hat is to celebrate The Lord
Me, pinnacle of animals: That felt frog wearing a top hat is to celebrate The Lord
actually crying in walmart bc my angel child needs clothes so bad that there’s not even any toys on his list
:((((( (he will be getting both)
:((((( (he will be getting both)
December 7, 2025 at 5:19 PM
actually crying in walmart bc my angel child needs clothes so bad that there’s not even any toys on his list
:((((( (he will be getting both)
:((((( (he will be getting both)
another year of paying out the ass for dog insurance. i just know if i ever cancel she will be hit by a bus, so we must continue for the rest of time
December 5, 2025 at 2:00 PM
another year of paying out the ass for dog insurance. i just know if i ever cancel she will be hit by a bus, so we must continue for the rest of time