NinjaPastry
ninjapastry.bsky.social
NinjaPastry
@ninjapastry.bsky.social
He/him 🏳️‍⚧️
War torn 2012 gold Ford Sierra Salt Life rear window decal
December 15, 2025 at 2:54 PM
Consensual falling down the stairs
December 14, 2025 at 5:40 AM
Reposted by NinjaPastry
Ask your boyfriend how often he thinks about Times New Roman.
December 10, 2025 at 3:06 AM
Belzona by day, Benadryl hatman by night
December 10, 2025 at 12:52 AM
The front is for shenanigans, the back is for shenanigouts
October 27, 2025 at 3:55 AM
I was just told I could be the modern day Seinfeld
October 23, 2025 at 6:22 PM
I feel like Life of a Showgirl should have sounded more like Death of a Bachelor
October 19, 2025 at 3:02 AM
True success is pulling into get my oil changed and not having to adjust my position. Perfection. I am perfection.
October 1, 2025 at 11:20 PM
Chewing on plastic as a child helped me build a tolerance to biting my tongue so damn hard when you talk to me I stfg
September 29, 2025 at 10:19 PM
Wanna come over and play mermaids but I dont have a pool we got throw cups of water at each other and talk about cool rocks we like
September 28, 2025 at 7:27 PM
I swear to god if you open one more fucking tab I will unplug the entire breaker right now
September 22, 2025 at 12:38 AM
"I may be phonetically queer but that is not my scene" -me, discussing the politics of RuPauls Drag Race
September 21, 2025 at 3:25 PM
I was trying to make it clear I wasn't into talking by trying to evoke the flavor of permafrost but he didnt care
September 9, 2025 at 11:49 PM
You have a self driving car. why would you drive it like a fucking idiot? IT DRIVES ITSELF. SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO DRIVE IT. LIKE AN ASSHOLE.
July 10, 2025 at 3:37 PM
I am mentally and physically wearing a hat right now
June 24, 2025 at 11:07 PM
Maybe she's born with it
Maybe it's Mac n Cheese
June 11, 2025 at 10:49 PM
Mesh doors make no sense. Only slightly come in.
June 1, 2025 at 9:16 PM
I wholeheartedly believe your music taste is shown by what FNAF music you listen to on repeat
May 23, 2025 at 3:54 PM
They need to start putting those fruit roll up tongue tattoos on slices of cheese
May 21, 2025 at 1:30 PM
There's something poetic about seeing a tesla in the whitecastle drive thru
May 16, 2025 at 5:28 PM
If you die in Missouri you die in real life
April 9, 2025 at 12:20 AM
Where the FUCK is West Virginia
April 8, 2025 at 8:07 PM
Crayons were the gateway drug to me eating bath and bodyworks candles
March 31, 2025 at 7:57 PM
Laughing so hard you wave variant through a wall
March 27, 2025 at 2:48 AM
The vibe that I bring to the party is Google maps.
March 9, 2025 at 2:23 PM