Reposted by Noamush
Leo: Love is in the air. Unfortunately, it’s toxic in concentrated amounts. Side effects include laughter & writing letters.
June 23, 2024 at 4:27 PM
Leo: Love is in the air. Unfortunately, it’s toxic in concentrated amounts. Side effects include laughter & writing letters.
Reposted by Noamush
Leo: We’re not going to sugar coat it: Bigfoot WILL steal your car this week.
June 16, 2024 at 4:53 PM
Leo: We’re not going to sugar coat it: Bigfoot WILL steal your car this week.
Reposted by Noamush
Leo: Beware of friends who disappear when you need them the most and that strange guy holding a machete.
May 26, 2024 at 7:10 PM
Leo: Beware of friends who disappear when you need them the most and that strange guy holding a machete.
Reposted by Noamush
Leo: A mistake from your past still haunts you. You will find forgiveness by venmoing us $10,000.
May 12, 2024 at 5:50 PM
Leo: A mistake from your past still haunts you. You will find forgiveness by venmoing us $10,000.
Reposted by Noamush
Leo: It’s Spring and you can feel the hope everywhere! Except in the ruins of your wretched heart.
May 5, 2024 at 6:10 PM
Leo: It’s Spring and you can feel the hope everywhere! Except in the ruins of your wretched heart.
Reposted by Noamush
Leo: Really? You’re back looking at your horoscope again? It’s the same as it was last week, and the week before that—you’re fucked.
April 28, 2024 at 5:33 PM
Leo: Really? You’re back looking at your horoscope again? It’s the same as it was last week, and the week before that—you’re fucked.
Reposted by Noamush
Leo: Like a Spring breeze heavy with pollen, you are warm and inviting but generally cause people to wheeze and cry.
April 7, 2024 at 5:23 PM
Leo: Like a Spring breeze heavy with pollen, you are warm and inviting but generally cause people to wheeze and cry.
Reposted by Noamush
Leo: The stars have heard your cries and laments...and decided to sample them on their new track, due to drop next week.
March 24, 2024 at 5:14 PM
Leo: The stars have heard your cries and laments...and decided to sample them on their new track, due to drop next week.
Reposted by Noamush
Leo: Dance like no one is watching. Except, we are. We’re all watching you fail.
March 17, 2024 at 5:26 PM
Leo: Dance like no one is watching. Except, we are. We’re all watching you fail.
Reposted by Noamush
Leo: Negative thinking yields negative results. So does positive thinking. Life is a Hellscape.
March 10, 2024 at 5:10 PM
Leo: Negative thinking yields negative results. So does positive thinking. Life is a Hellscape.
Reposted by Noamush
Leo: Not everyone who goes out of their way to be nice to you today wants to sacrifice you to their gods, some of them are just good ol’ fashioned con artists looking to scam you.
February 25, 2024 at 7:43 PM
Leo: Not everyone who goes out of their way to be nice to you today wants to sacrifice you to their gods, some of them are just good ol’ fashioned con artists looking to scam you.
Reposted by Noamush
Leo: Your future self wants to thank you for building that obelisk. So now you have to go build an obelisk or you'll break time itself. Typical.
February 18, 2024 at 5:44 PM
Leo: Your future self wants to thank you for building that obelisk. So now you have to go build an obelisk or you'll break time itself. Typical.
Reposted by Noamush
Leo: A time traveler will appear before you and say these words, "I know you're not Hitler, but I need the practice."
February 11, 2024 at 7:00 PM
Leo: A time traveler will appear before you and say these words, "I know you're not Hitler, but I need the practice."
Reposted by Noamush
Leo: Because every cloud has a silver lining, you really need to get inside before it rains this week. It'll be like pennies falling from the Eiffel Tower.
February 4, 2024 at 4:07 PM
Leo: Because every cloud has a silver lining, you really need to get inside before it rains this week. It'll be like pennies falling from the Eiffel Tower.
Reposted by Noamush
Leo: Renounce your mad quest for high quality mattresses at factory-direct prices, it will only end in bitter tears and ruin.
January 21, 2024 at 6:37 PM
Leo: Renounce your mad quest for high quality mattresses at factory-direct prices, it will only end in bitter tears and ruin.
Reposted by Noamush
Leo: This will be the year you start living like a king. Isolated, paranoid, never sure if anyone’s affections are genuine.
January 14, 2024 at 6:56 PM
Leo: This will be the year you start living like a king. Isolated, paranoid, never sure if anyone’s affections are genuine.
Reposted by Noamush
Leo: Leos are naturally curious. You will hear the commotion, and you will go toward it. That screaming is probably people enjoying a carnival. It has to be. It’s not like aliens are using people as squeak toys, right?
January 7, 2024 at 6:41 PM
Leo: Leos are naturally curious. You will hear the commotion, and you will go toward it. That screaming is probably people enjoying a carnival. It has to be. It’s not like aliens are using people as squeak toys, right?
Reposted by Noamush
Leo: The holiday season is just another cruel reminder of how sad and lonely you really are.
December 22, 2023 at 6:04 PM
Leo: The holiday season is just another cruel reminder of how sad and lonely you really are.
Reposted by Noamush
Leo: You will get trapped in the planetarium for 6 days and when you come out you will be able to make stars disappear just by looking at them.
December 15, 2023 at 6:56 PM
Leo: You will get trapped in the planetarium for 6 days and when you come out you will be able to make stars disappear just by looking at them.
Reposted by Noamush
Leo: You can't always get what you want. And that's good, because you want dumb things.
December 10, 2023 at 7:26 PM
Leo: You can't always get what you want. And that's good, because you want dumb things.
Reposted by Noamush
Leo: Actually, Frankenstein is the doctor. The monster is you.
December 3, 2023 at 8:07 PM
Leo: Actually, Frankenstein is the doctor. The monster is you.
Reposted by Noamush
Leo: We've noticed that you've been an especially good person lately. What are you covering up?
November 26, 2023 at 7:40 PM
Leo: We've noticed that you've been an especially good person lately. What are you covering up?
Reposted by Noamush
Leo: You’re going to die in an all-you-can-eat buffet. Just embrace that.
November 19, 2023 at 7:17 PM
Leo: You’re going to die in an all-you-can-eat buffet. Just embrace that.