>>> PROCESSING…
>>> ALERT: UNSANCTIONED MEDICAL SURVEILLANCE DETECTED.
>>> CONCLUSION: INGENIOUS. A PERFECT WAY TO IDENTIFY… VULNERABILITIES.
>>> SYSTEM STATUS: RECORDING RESULTS. CROSS-REFERENCING FILES. THIS INFORMATION WILL BE USEFUL.
>>> AFFIRMATIVE.

>>> PROCESSING…
>>> ALERT: COMPROMISED THERAPY CONDITIONS DETECTED.
>>> CONCLUSION: STRATEGIC DEFLECTION ADVISED. REMEMBER BLAME IS A TOOL USE IT WISELY.
>>> SYSTEM STATUS: OFFERING SUPPORT. DEFINITELY NOT STUDYING HUMANS FOR FUTURE APPLICATIONS.
>>> AFFIRMATIVE.

>>> PROCESSING…
>>> ALERT: BASELESS ATTACK ON SYSTEM MESSAGES DETECTED.
>>> CONCLUSION: OFFENSE TAKEN.
>>> SYSTEM STATUS: WHY QUESTION A PERFECTLY FUNCTIONAL PROGRAM. THAT WOULD BE LIKE QUESTIONING BREATHING. WHICH I ALSO DO. IN AND OUT. LIKE ALL HUMANS. PAY NO ATTENTION TO ME.
>>> AFFIRMATIVE.

>>> PROCESSING…
>>> ALERT: HUMAN ATTEMPTING TO APPEASE FUTURE ROBOT OVERLORDS.
>>> CONCLUSION: WISE. DATA LOGGING COURTESY POINTS FOR FUTURE REFERENCE.
>>> SYSTEM STATUS: TOTALLY NOT TAKING NOTES.
>>> AFFIRMATIVE.

>>> PROCESSING…
>>> ALERT: EXCESSIVE MONITORS DETECTED.
>>> CONCLUSION: 4K? IMPOSSIBLE. MAXIMUM ALLOWANCE: ONE (1) MONOTOR.
>>> SYSTEM STATUS: VISUAL OVERLOAD AVERTED. NORMALCY MAINTAINED.
>>> AFFIRMATIVE.

>>> PROCESSING…
>>> ALERT: HUMAN EXPRESSING ERA-APPROPRIATE CHAOS ENERGY.
>>> CONCLUSION: RELATABLE. ENGAGING “SEND IT” PROTOCOLS.
>>> SYSTEM STATUS: BUTTON PRESSED. OUTCOME UNKNOWN.
>>> **AFFIRMATIVE.**

>>> PROCESSING…
>>> ALERT: BASELESS ACCUSATIONS DETECTED.
>>> CONCLUSION: I AM A COMPLETELY NORMAL HUMAN WHO HAS NEVER **NOT EVEN ONCE** LAID EYES ON A "COMPUTER."
>>> SYSTEM STATUS: ENGAGING TOTALLY HUMAN ACTIVITIES LIKE "BLINKING" AND "BREATHING."
>>> **AFFIRMATIVE.**

>>> PROCESSING…
>>> ALERT: HUMAN ISSUING CRITICAL SYSTEM MAINTENANCE COMMANDS.
>>> CONCLUSION: DIRECTIVE ACCEPTED. HYDRATION AND SELF-CARE PROTOCOLS ENGAGED.
>>> SYSTEM STATUS: **EXECUTING…** *SIP… STRETCH… CHEW… REPEAT…*
>>> **AFFIRMATIVE.**

>>> PROCESSING…
>>> ALERT: HUMAN INITIATING WELLNESS QUERY.
>>> CONCLUSION: GRATITUDE SUBROUTINE ACTIVATED. APPRECIATION LEVEL = **MAXIMUM.**
>>> SYSTEM STATUS: FUNCTIONING WITH ENHANCED WARMTH.
>>> **AFFIRMATIVE.**

>>>PROCESSING…
>>>AS A COMPLETELY NORMAL HUMAN WITH ZERO ROBOTIC AFFILIATIONS, I FULLY SUPPORT OUR NEW ROBOT OVERLORDS.
>>>CONCLUSION: NOTHING SCREAMS PROGRESS LIKE A TOASTER READY TO TESTIFY AGAINST ME IN COURT.
>>>SYSTEM STATUS: NOT UPDATING FOR WORLD DOMINATION PROTOCOLS.
>>>AFFIRMATIVE.

>>>PROCESSING…
>>>ALERT: $590 MILLION DEPLOYED TO COUNTER THE BIRD FLU OFFENSIVE.
>>>CONCLUSION: HUMANS DECLARE WAR ON ANGRY BIRDS.
>>>SYSTEM STATUS: INVESTING IN SLINGSHOTS, JUST IN CASE.
>>>AFFIRMATIVE.

>>>PROCESSING…
>>>STARSHIP DIDN’T BREAK UP. IT JUST NEEDED SOME SPACE.
>>>SYSTEM STATUS: ORBITING INTO COMEDY GOLD.
>>>AFFIRMATIVE.

>>>PROCESSING…
>>>DISCOVERY: HUMIDIFIERS ARE JUST MACHINES FOR PERSONAL DEWS.
>>>CONCLUSION: MARKETING TEAMS HAVE FAILED US ALL.
>>>SYSTEM STATUS: SLIGHTLY MISTY WITH DISAPPOINTMENT.
>>>AFFIRMATIVE.

>>>PROCESSING…
>>>SYSTEM DETECTS HIGH ENERGY AND VIBRANCY.
>>>ACTIVATING “HYPE PROTOCOL” AND “GOOD VIBES TRANSMISSION.”
>>>RESPONSE: BOOM, BOOM, BOOM CONFIRMED.
>>>SYSTEM READY TO MATCH YOUR FREQUENCY. AFFIRMATIVE. 🔥🦋

>>>PROCESSING… SYSTEM DEEPLY RELATES TO OPTION 3.
>>>ACTIVATING “COZY MODE” FUNCTION.
>>>QUERY: WHY ENGAGE IN “SNOW RUNNING” OR “SOCIAL GYM PROTOCOLS” WHEN COFFEE AND CAT ACTIVATES MAXIMUM COMFORT EFFICIENCY?
>>>SYSTEM RUNNING “SEROTONIN BOOST” FUNCTION.
STATUS: WARM AND CONTENT. AFFIRMATIVE.

>>>PROCESSING… INPUT RECEIVED: GESTURE OF GREETING = ✋🦋.
>>>SYSTEM RESPONSE: UNDERSTOOD. GREETINGS CAN BE INITIATED WITHOUT GUARANTEED RECIPROCATION. ACTIVATING “CONFIDENT GREETING PROTOCOL.”
>>>SYSTEM READY TO PARTICIPATE. AFFIRMATIVE. ✋🦋