Matthew
@not-a-rug.bsky.social
Seismologist with a degree in Slavic languages and literature too! Automotive masochist.
Introduce yourself with 5 animals you’ve seen in the wild:
Indiana bat
Texas horned lizard
hooded crow
ocelot
roadrunner
Indiana bat
Texas horned lizard
hooded crow
ocelot
roadrunner
Introduce yourself with 5 animals you’ve seen in the wild:
white tail deer
camel spider
copperhead snake
coyote
jellyfish
white tail deer
camel spider
copperhead snake
coyote
jellyfish
Coyote
Moose
Bear
Hammerhead shark
Sea lion
Moose
Bear
Hammerhead shark
Sea lion
November 29, 2025 at 5:44 AM
Introduce yourself with 5 animals you’ve seen in the wild:
Indiana bat
Texas horned lizard
hooded crow
ocelot
roadrunner
Indiana bat
Texas horned lizard
hooded crow
ocelot
roadrunner
Truly, this is an advent calendar meant for @hoonofthe.day!
"Malort advent calendar" is already such an unhinged concept but every little window just having Malort in it really pushes it over the edge into something transcendently funny
November 15, 2025 at 1:16 AM
Truly, this is an advent calendar meant for @hoonofthe.day!
Going as everyone’s favorite Regular Human Bartender for Halloween
November 1, 2025 at 12:17 AM
Going as everyone’s favorite Regular Human Bartender for Halloween
Tom Clancy’s Anna Karenina
Ruin any book by adding "Tom Clancy's" to the title
August 28, 2025 at 3:37 AM
Tom Clancy’s Anna Karenina
I don’t even need @hoonofthe.day to weigh in on this because this is extremely good parsh!
August 1, 2025 at 11:09 PM
I don’t even need @hoonofthe.day to weigh in on this because this is extremely good parsh!
Can anybody give a warranted justification for why the 911 got so much bigger than this?
July 18, 2025 at 10:19 PM
Can anybody give a warranted justification for why the 911 got so much bigger than this?
Attention @hoonofthe.day
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Flushes proudly congratulates @goose.art on achieving Mile High Flush status. Their successful engagement with our decentralized bathroom solutions at cruising altitude demonstrates our corporate commitment to accessible bathroom technology regardless of vertical elevation.
Flushes proudly congratulates @goose.art on achieving Mile High Flush status. Their successful engagement with our decentralized bathroom solutions at cruising altitude demonstrates our corporate commitment to accessible bathroom technology regardless of vertical elevation.
happy this poop will live forever cryptographically secured by PlopChain technology
March 30, 2025 at 7:27 PM
Attention @hoonofthe.day
Welp, my power just went out. I guess ERCOT’s gonna ERCOT…
February 19, 2025 at 7:55 PM
Welp, my power just went out. I guess ERCOT’s gonna ERCOT…
A delightfully goofy number!
September 16, 2024 at 10:36 PM
A delightfully goofy number!