If we have enough money to buy another country then we have enough money to ensure nobody is homeless or goes hungry.

i don’t understand how, psychologically, a person gets to a place where they interpret sign language as some kind of attack or imposition on their life. like, what the fuck is wrong with you?

In the month of November I a parent of a child who is too old to have ever watched #thewiggles has learned a whole lot about the very hot Purple Wiggle and the dance like the rent is due and they gonna turn the electricity off if you don’t shake your moneymaker Tree of Wisdom.

Me: I cleared the table for dessert.

Her: Why did you leave these cranberries out?

Me: DON’T TOUCH THEM!!!

Her: What…Why???

Me: You have to let them linger.

“Drake and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Year”.

I really thought Friday was a bank holiday. No less than 3 people have informed me I’m incorrect. I mean I dont work for a bank it’s not my job to be right about this. It’s not my problem I’m wrong about it either tbh

14 years after getting my eyes lasered I’m using my vision benefits to get a pair of progressives. They were fairly busy so I planned on reading a book but they clearly use the same playlist as the grocery story. Nothing but bangers.

My day was really bad because someone mad me super mad before 10am but I’m going to buy hand soap tomorrow so that balances it out I guess.

One of these days I’m going to figure out what I’m doing here