and there's no point if the replacement is like THIS

I'm not suicidal, but I really have no more purpose being here. I don't want to create art anymore; I have so much less love for things around me. I'm so much less secure, too. It's either I die or become a drone. I think my body should acknowledge that he who inhabited this body before is gone,

I can type, type, type, but that won't change anything. I'm painfully aware of the fact that I do, indeed, have a physical form that's not fictional.

I'm really larping

It's so odd to type these things when my self awareness is so tied to my physical body now. I kind of want to forget it, but it's difficult when there's times I'd view myself from the 3rd person; flashes of what I must look like from the outside appear in my mind's eye.

I don't actually care about that — I'd rather be an observer. It just seems better knowing that no one would touch the innards of my flesh regardless, and they wouldn't let me touch their's. At least, I couldn't be raw if I did.

I can't seee.... I can't seee.... I only see what everyone else does, nowwww.....

So many emotional attachments gone ,,, and I can't form any more , or else it would feel wrong ,, what's blocking my vision !?,!???!!??!?

I need to cry so much more

Christ, can I just get out of HERE? Something HERE is blocking my vision!!! There's something blocking my vision, and it's so annoying!!! Something's blocking my vision to keep me sane, but a lot of my memories are acidic, so I don't remember them ;_;