Zoey Kirby
@ohnoz0e.bsky.social
Comedian with Cerebral Palsy. Sometimes Journalist. Creator of Crippled Coffee on Substack. Lover of green Skittles
Pinned
Zoey Kirby
@ohnoz0e.bsky.social
· Oct 3
They're so pretty it hurts
I'm not talking about boys I'm talking about girls
They're so pretty with their buttoned shirts.
🥹🥺🥰🙈
I'm not talking about boys I'm talking about girls
They're so pretty with their buttoned shirts.
🥹🥺🥰🙈
I'd like to be able to draw better. Jskdjsksjsk how does lines?
December 25, 2025 at 1:54 AM
I'd like to be able to draw better. Jskdjsksjsk how does lines?
I can't believe I slept 14 hours yesterday. What normal person sleeps in until 4pm??
December 14, 2025 at 10:11 PM
I can't believe I slept 14 hours yesterday. What normal person sleeps in until 4pm??
I'm upset I had to cancel a therapy appointment so that my twin could make a barista interview.
I'm never having that happen again. I only put my therapy on hold, because my twin is moving to Topeka.
I'm more angry at myself for not fully putting my foot down a bit more.
I'm never having that happen again. I only put my therapy on hold, because my twin is moving to Topeka.
I'm more angry at myself for not fully putting my foot down a bit more.
December 10, 2025 at 10:28 PM
I'm upset I had to cancel a therapy appointment so that my twin could make a barista interview.
I'm never having that happen again. I only put my therapy on hold, because my twin is moving to Topeka.
I'm more angry at myself for not fully putting my foot down a bit more.
I'm never having that happen again. I only put my therapy on hold, because my twin is moving to Topeka.
I'm more angry at myself for not fully putting my foot down a bit more.
Turns out no one likes a nakedly corrupt pedophile that deserves treason charges many times over.
Are we ever going to properly try these American Fascists? They don't die with Trump. They will reform like the Chimera that right-wing politics always is, when it's that far right.
Violence for power
Are we ever going to properly try these American Fascists? They don't die with Trump. They will reform like the Chimera that right-wing politics always is, when it's that far right.
Violence for power
December 10, 2025 at 5:56 PM
Turns out no one likes a nakedly corrupt pedophile that deserves treason charges many times over.
Are we ever going to properly try these American Fascists? They don't die with Trump. They will reform like the Chimera that right-wing politics always is, when it's that far right.
Violence for power
Are we ever going to properly try these American Fascists? They don't die with Trump. They will reform like the Chimera that right-wing politics always is, when it's that far right.
Violence for power
It's me and this Midi Keyboard vs the basic concept of playing music good
December 10, 2025 at 5:54 PM
It's me and this Midi Keyboard vs the basic concept of playing music good
I would come, but my dog has ibs
December 10, 2025 at 3:07 PM
I would come, but my dog has ibs
Let's just become a wing of MAGA propaganda. That's how to build a storied, long well regarded media institution.
The new MAGA Loving CBS has been on a media blitz promoting Marjorie Taylor Greene on 60 minutes tonight. This is a sign of things to come from the network of Walter Cronkite and Edward R Murrow who are spinning in their graves at what CBS has become. No more CBS or 60 minutes for me. #ProudBlue
December 7, 2025 at 10:04 PM
Let's just become a wing of MAGA propaganda. That's how to build a storied, long well regarded media institution.
I'm serving absolute vagina in these Stitch pajamas. Thank you for asking
December 7, 2025 at 9:45 PM
I'm serving absolute vagina in these Stitch pajamas. Thank you for asking
I'm a queen of highly specific scenarios. No, I will not explain.
December 1, 2025 at 11:37 PM
I'm a queen of highly specific scenarios. No, I will not explain.
Why didn't anyone tell me leather pants were also comfortable? God I love my pair of black leather pants.
December 1, 2025 at 5:00 PM
Why didn't anyone tell me leather pants were also comfortable? God I love my pair of black leather pants.
Nightmare turkey bloat rotation
November 29, 2025 at 1:14 AM
Nightmare turkey bloat rotation
How do people get blitzed on booze and not drink water?
November 16, 2025 at 6:13 PM
How do people get blitzed on booze and not drink water?
My love life is a desert. Fucking hell dude
November 16, 2025 at 9:14 AM
My love life is a desert. Fucking hell dude
Reposted by Zoey Kirby
A quarter of the entire deployed US Navy is now stationed in the Caribbean.
That goes way beyond frighteners.
That goes way beyond frighteners.
November 15, 2025 at 3:50 PM
A quarter of the entire deployed US Navy is now stationed in the Caribbean.
That goes way beyond frighteners.
That goes way beyond frighteners.
I just got out of the most blatantly transphobic job "interview" of my life.
I am unendingly pissed. Who schedules a same day interview, then insists I reapply, and reschedule the interview, because of my preferred name. (My legal name was on the application)
I am unendingly pissed. Who schedules a same day interview, then insists I reapply, and reschedule the interview, because of my preferred name. (My legal name was on the application)
November 15, 2025 at 12:35 AM
I just got out of the most blatantly transphobic job "interview" of my life.
I am unendingly pissed. Who schedules a same day interview, then insists I reapply, and reschedule the interview, because of my preferred name. (My legal name was on the application)
I am unendingly pissed. Who schedules a same day interview, then insists I reapply, and reschedule the interview, because of my preferred name. (My legal name was on the application)
Back to screaming in digital voids.
Or as some call, the drafts.
Or as some call, the drafts.
November 14, 2025 at 7:37 PM
Back to screaming in digital voids.
Or as some call, the drafts.
Or as some call, the drafts.
Drunk on my morning coffee
Despite all that happens
At least I know you have me
Despite all that happens
At least I know you have me
November 14, 2025 at 5:33 PM
Drunk on my morning coffee
Despite all that happens
At least I know you have me
Despite all that happens
At least I know you have me
Is our government just 3 pedophiles in a trench coat??
November 14, 2025 at 7:50 AM
Is our government just 3 pedophiles in a trench coat??
Me when anyone talks mad shit about our fascist, criminal government.
a cartoon of a man wearing sunglasses and a hat that says bait shop
ALT: a cartoon of a man wearing sunglasses and a hat that says bait shop
media.tenor.com
November 14, 2025 at 7:49 AM
Me when anyone talks mad shit about our fascist, criminal government.
I just wanna kiss someone's face and marvel in their beauty for a few hours.
Sculpt an ice sculpture of them.
Plot to steal a world-famous, rare diamond in a coded, but mutually recognizable way so she knows I stole the diamond for her
Write her a poem so hot that the English language itself cums
Sculpt an ice sculpture of them.
Plot to steal a world-famous, rare diamond in a coded, but mutually recognizable way so she knows I stole the diamond for her
Write her a poem so hot that the English language itself cums
November 14, 2025 at 5:38 AM
I just wanna kiss someone's face and marvel in their beauty for a few hours.
Sculpt an ice sculpture of them.
Plot to steal a world-famous, rare diamond in a coded, but mutually recognizable way so she knows I stole the diamond for her
Write her a poem so hot that the English language itself cums
Sculpt an ice sculpture of them.
Plot to steal a world-famous, rare diamond in a coded, but mutually recognizable way so she knows I stole the diamond for her
Write her a poem so hot that the English language itself cums
It's Songs With No Lyrics Thursday! I want to appreciate the music that speaks so loudly for itself, it literally doesn't have any words,
So my entry for this week's #NoLyricThursday is Juggernaut by DJ Shadow! What's yours?
So my entry for this week's #NoLyricThursday is Juggernaut by DJ Shadow! What's yours?
November 13, 2025 at 7:42 PM
It's Songs With No Lyrics Thursday! I want to appreciate the music that speaks so loudly for itself, it literally doesn't have any words,
So my entry for this week's #NoLyricThursday is Juggernaut by DJ Shadow! What's yours?
So my entry for this week's #NoLyricThursday is Juggernaut by DJ Shadow! What's yours?
I didn't mean to accidentally get a pitbull German Shepherd mix that would kill for me, but I'm happy for her.
I love you boooo.
I love you boooo.
November 12, 2025 at 1:13 AM
I didn't mean to accidentally get a pitbull German Shepherd mix that would kill for me, but I'm happy for her.
I love you boooo.
I love you boooo.
A war criminal died today. c:
November 4, 2025 at 5:30 PM
A war criminal died today. c: