Smokey the Axolotl
@onebucfan808.bsky.social
Reposted by Smokey the Axolotl
Well well well. I'm an influencer.
For Christmas this year please give me draft on bluesky @bsky.app
February 10, 2026 at 12:06 AM
Well well well. I'm an influencer.
Reposted by Smokey the Axolotl
I play trivia at Buffalo wild Wings so that all the Hooters chicks on Bumble who fetishize nerds will text me photos of their cash app QR code
February 8, 2026 at 1:42 AM
I play trivia at Buffalo wild Wings so that all the Hooters chicks on Bumble who fetishize nerds will text me photos of their cash app QR code
Reposted by Smokey the Axolotl
I'm having Diarrhea Time at school rn. Must post about fnaf 10 times
February 8, 2026 at 4:40 AM
I'm having Diarrhea Time at school rn. Must post about fnaf 10 times
Reposted by Smokey the Axolotl
🔴 NBC: Baltimore mayor Brendan Scott just gave me a one-time use N-word pass, but I'm not going to use it because I'm shy and it is not the right thing to do <3
January 28, 2026 at 8:45 PM
🔴 NBC: Baltimore mayor Brendan Scott just gave me a one-time use N-word pass, but I'm not going to use it because I'm shy and it is not the right thing to do <3
Reposted by Smokey the Axolotl
Sorry babe not today. Universe told me I gotta touch myself.
January 28, 2026 at 6:57 PM
Sorry babe not today. Universe told me I gotta touch myself.
Reposted by Smokey the Axolotl
Contrary to your expectations, being the way that I am is totally developmentally appropriate for my age
January 25, 2026 at 2:46 AM
Contrary to your expectations, being the way that I am is totally developmentally appropriate for my age
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Fondling her massive atmosphere
January 25, 2026 at 4:23 PM
Fondling her massive atmosphere
Reposted by Smokey the Axolotl
I'M A DYNAMIC PROFESSIONAL Y'ALL. I'M FUCKIN FLEXIBLE AND CURIOUS AS SHIT. I'M A VISIONARY. DONT FW ME.
January 19, 2026 at 6:25 PM
I'M A DYNAMIC PROFESSIONAL Y'ALL. I'M FUCKIN FLEXIBLE AND CURIOUS AS SHIT. I'M A VISIONARY. DONT FW ME.
Reposted by Smokey the Axolotl
You should hire me at your brothel because I have a curious mind and a gorgeous heart <3
January 19, 2026 at 6:30 PM
You should hire me at your brothel because I have a curious mind and a gorgeous heart <3
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If my mind was a car, it would be driven by knowledge. Few understand
January 19, 2026 at 7:00 PM
If my mind was a car, it would be driven by knowledge. Few understand
Reposted by Smokey the Axolotl
Me when I see a bulbous hamster: 🐦 🗣
January 19, 2026 at 11:23 PM
Me when I see a bulbous hamster: 🐦 🗣
Reposted by Smokey the Axolotl
Your time machine fucks up and you end up in the worst moment of human history. You also do not have arms or legs. I am there in front of you in worm form. Wyd?
April 23, 2025 at 2:54 AM
Your time machine fucks up and you end up in the worst moment of human history. You also do not have arms or legs. I am there in front of you in worm form. Wyd?
Reposted by Smokey the Axolotl
Drunk thought: i want to have sex a lot!! *sips beer*
October 30, 2025 at 12:48 AM
Drunk thought: i want to have sex a lot!! *sips beer*
Reposted by Smokey the Axolotl
Spiderman's smallness is his bigness
January 8, 2026 at 3:31 AM
Spiderman's smallness is his bigness
Reposted by Smokey the Axolotl
Shawty too wide. Can't wear shoes
January 6, 2026 at 3:30 AM
Shawty too wide. Can't wear shoes
Reposted by Smokey the Axolotl
I'm not impressed by victories. The champions probably just applied a winning strategy
December 16, 2025 at 1:31 AM
I'm not impressed by victories. The champions probably just applied a winning strategy
Reposted by Smokey the Axolotl
NEW MEDICAL TERMINOLOGY JUST DROPPED
Obese --> 𝓥𝓸𝓵𝓾𝓹𝓽𝓾𝓸𝓾𝓼
Morbidly Obese --> 𝓛𝓾𝓭𝓲𝓬𝓻𝓸𝓾𝓼𝓵𝔂 𝓥𝓸𝓵𝓾𝓹𝓽𝓾𝓸𝓾𝓼
Underweight --> 𝓕𝓵𝓪𝓽 𝓢𝓽𝓪𝓷𝓵𝓮𝔂 𝓵𝓸𝓸𝓴𝓲𝓷 𝓪𝓼𝓼
Obese --> 𝓥𝓸𝓵𝓾𝓹𝓽𝓾𝓸𝓾𝓼
Morbidly Obese --> 𝓛𝓾𝓭𝓲𝓬𝓻𝓸𝓾𝓼𝓵𝔂 𝓥𝓸𝓵𝓾𝓹𝓽𝓾𝓸𝓾𝓼
Underweight --> 𝓕𝓵𝓪𝓽 𝓢𝓽𝓪𝓷𝓵𝓮𝔂 𝓵𝓸𝓸𝓴𝓲𝓷 𝓪𝓼𝓼
December 25, 2025 at 2:38 PM
NEW MEDICAL TERMINOLOGY JUST DROPPED
Obese --> 𝓥𝓸𝓵𝓾𝓹𝓽𝓾𝓸𝓾𝓼
Morbidly Obese --> 𝓛𝓾𝓭𝓲𝓬𝓻𝓸𝓾𝓼𝓵𝔂 𝓥𝓸𝓵𝓾𝓹𝓽𝓾𝓸𝓾𝓼
Underweight --> 𝓕𝓵𝓪𝓽 𝓢𝓽𝓪𝓷𝓵𝓮𝔂 𝓵𝓸𝓸𝓴𝓲𝓷 𝓪𝓼𝓼
Obese --> 𝓥𝓸𝓵𝓾𝓹𝓽𝓾𝓸𝓾𝓼
Morbidly Obese --> 𝓛𝓾𝓭𝓲𝓬𝓻𝓸𝓾𝓼𝓵𝔂 𝓥𝓸𝓵𝓾𝓹𝓽𝓾𝓸𝓾𝓼
Underweight --> 𝓕𝓵𝓪𝓽 𝓢𝓽𝓪𝓷𝓵𝓮𝔂 𝓵𝓸𝓸𝓴𝓲𝓷 𝓪𝓼𝓼
Reposted by Smokey the Axolotl
Exiting all of my apps by pressing the "house" button on my handy dandy remote
December 25, 2025 at 2:30 PM
Exiting all of my apps by pressing the "house" button on my handy dandy remote
Reposted by Smokey the Axolotl
It's funny how many things you don't notice until you notice them
December 25, 2025 at 1:59 AM
It's funny how many things you don't notice until you notice them
Reposted by Smokey the Axolotl
The grinch is kinda like luigi mangione if you think about it in the exact way I'm currently thinking about it
December 25, 2025 at 2:59 AM
The grinch is kinda like luigi mangione if you think about it in the exact way I'm currently thinking about it
It’s almost like when you fight against things that are real, reality wins. Yay for poopy!
December 25, 2025 at 1:35 PM
It’s almost like when you fight against things that are real, reality wins. Yay for poopy!
Reposted by Smokey the Axolotl
*sprays Baker Mayfield with a water spray bottle* BAD DOG BAD DOG
December 21, 2025 at 9:00 PM
*sprays Baker Mayfield with a water spray bottle* BAD DOG BAD DOG
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*scratching Baker Mayfield behind the ear* oughhhh look at this good boy go! You're the goodest boy out there on the field of Bank of America stadium this last Sunday before christmas, aren't you? Good boyyyy
December 21, 2025 at 8:33 PM
*scratching Baker Mayfield behind the ear* oughhhh look at this good boy go! You're the goodest boy out there on the field of Bank of America stadium this last Sunday before christmas, aren't you? Good boyyyy
Reposted by Smokey the Axolotl
[Dialectical thinking survey for goth gf applicant] Yeah you're gorgeous but riddle me this [pulls out pen] are you hot or cold? Lukewarm? Nice, okay. Now, are you yes or no? Yes? Hmm. I see. Okay, are you in or out? Unsure? Excellent. What about up or down? Up? No down at all? Curious. Mkay.
July 25, 2025 at 9:10 PM
[Dialectical thinking survey for goth gf applicant] Yeah you're gorgeous but riddle me this [pulls out pen] are you hot or cold? Lukewarm? Nice, okay. Now, are you yes or no? Yes? Hmm. I see. Okay, are you in or out? Unsure? Excellent. What about up or down? Up? No down at all? Curious. Mkay.
Reposted by Smokey the Axolotl
Lowkey after all this grape juice I've been drinking I feel like I could fight a bear
December 6, 2025 at 8:29 PM
Lowkey after all this grape juice I've been drinking I feel like I could fight a bear