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US Patent and Trademark Office
@patentoffice.bsky.social
590 followers 150 following 26 posts
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patentoffice.bsky.social
Geppetto's first attempt at designing a real boy
A patent illustration of a bipedal mechanism that is supposed to look like a weird doll boy thing standing. There are like 86 parts labeled with numbers. The body cavity looks to be filled with various looping wires maybe.
July 26, 2025 at 4:47 PM
patentoffice.bsky.social
Tired of having to make small talk with your barber? Nothing to fear!
AUTOMATIC HAIR-CUTTING MACHINE HAVING PROGRAMMED CONTROL MEANS FOR CUTTING HAIR IN A PREDETERMINED STYLE This thing looks like a human sized KitchenAid stand mixer except the business end is a bunch of machinery around a seated person's head.
March 20, 2025 at 2:43 PM
patentoffice.bsky.social
The solution for those of you who struggle to transport a single banana:
A patent illustration for a banana shaped plastic banana holder. For improving the AC of your banana
September 1, 2024 at 12:47 AM
patentoffice.bsky.social
Bluesky's most wanted patent: User-operated amusement apparatus for kicking the user's buttocks
Patent illustration showing a person bent over a two handed crank. The mechanism rotates a X frame with shoes connected to each end in order to kick your own ass.
August 27, 2024 at 2:24 PM
patentoffice.bsky.social
Patent Pending: soothing childhood fears of vaccines by violating a bunny with a needle
Patent illustration of the Hypodermic Bunny- a bunny shaped covering for a vaccine needle to ease children's fear of needles. The bunny doesn't look to be enjoying having the needle inserted rectally
August 26, 2024 at 6:28 PM
patentoffice.bsky.social
How do you make friends in your 30's? A one person seesaw
Patent illustration for a one person seesaw. There's some kind of internal spring or pneumatic deal to act as the second person.
August 26, 2024 at 1:42 AM
patentoffice.bsky.social
A US attorney general filed a patent for a big dick toilet once
An illustration of a "masculine" toilet design. Shows the inner workings of a toilet where the distance between the rim and the water is 12 inches
August 25, 2024 at 6:58 PM
patentoffice.bsky.social
Patent pending: APPARATUS FOR FACILITATING THE BIRTH OF A CHILD BY CENTRIFUGAL FORCE
A complex design illustration of a hospital bed with a woman in labor strapped down. There's a big ring around it implying they swing the bed around at some speed to try and eject the baby with centrifugal force
August 25, 2024 at 4:51 PM
patentoffice.bsky.social
Patent pending: a "this would fix me" machine
A patent illustration of a contraption to give yourself a pat on the back. Multiple levers and hinges that operate a little hand to pat your back.
August 25, 2024 at 4:22 PM
patentoffice.bsky.social
Patent pending: cheese filtered cigarettes
A diagram illustration of a cigarette that includes grated cheese mixed with charcoal as a part of the filter
August 25, 2024 at 3:54 PM