I'm sure she understands.

Wow, TV's London.

This is one of his presents.

We've all done it:

"Oh, who's that to?!"

(Two seconds later)

"Gooooooaaaal!!!!!"

Oh wow, I didn't realise that my niece's sausage dog shared a birthday with Rebel.

Happy 2nd birthday Rebel.
Happy 1st birthday Chip.

Honestly, the three goals can be shared between two or three scorers and I'd be almost as happy.

There's loads of them here.

Nooooooo!

I knew of a lad who, aged about 12/13, scoffed an entire tub of vaseline and needed his stomach pumped.

Why did he do it?

To kickstart his puberty, of course, as he thought he was lagging behind his peers.

Why he chose that method or thought that it would work is a question only he could answer.

When the announcement was made of the Queen's death (the dead queen, not the alive one), the very next sentence was that the king had declared a period of mourning.
I spent a couple of seconds thinking "What king?" before I realised oh yeah, Charlie's just got his first job.

It's out now, in all good newsagents.

I hope to see you marching back into Cov, proudly holding aloft the three points.

That Jon Gaunt twit as well.
Fortunately we don't hear too much from him these days.

Just a yellow?
Ref has absolutely bottled it there.