PhilsNotChill
@philsnotchill.bsky.social
overeducated, underperforming
when i said i like comedy i meant The Divine Comedy
November 20, 2025 at 12:52 AM
when i said i like comedy i meant The Divine Comedy
Kaiser: Here’s a pumpkin spice mousse recipe.
Me: Please just fix my neck.
Me: Please just fix my neck.
November 15, 2025 at 4:36 AM
Kaiser: Here’s a pumpkin spice mousse recipe.
Me: Please just fix my neck.
Me: Please just fix my neck.
Proud to be an organ donor, but really sorry to whoever gets my bladder.
November 11, 2025 at 10:54 PM
Proud to be an organ donor, but really sorry to whoever gets my bladder.
Two-sentence horror story inspired by true events.
You pick up your partner’s phone. Safari: 455 open tabs.
You pick up your partner’s phone. Safari: 455 open tabs.
November 3, 2025 at 7:49 PM
Two-sentence horror story inspired by true events.
You pick up your partner’s phone. Safari: 455 open tabs.
You pick up your partner’s phone. Safari: 455 open tabs.
LA’s hottest club is Spirit Halloween
October 30, 2025 at 3:07 AM
LA’s hottest club is Spirit Halloween
I have a very avant garde delivery guy
March 8, 2025 at 12:14 AM
I have a very avant garde delivery guy
The craziest part of The Substance is when she makes dinner date plans for THAT SAME NIGHT
Give me a week’s notice or give me death
Give me a week’s notice or give me death
February 24, 2025 at 8:53 PM
The craziest part of The Substance is when she makes dinner date plans for THAT SAME NIGHT
Give me a week’s notice or give me death
Give me a week’s notice or give me death
Nothing says you’re at your parents’ place quite like a Snuggie on the ironing board
December 17, 2024 at 9:25 PM
Nothing says you’re at your parents’ place quite like a Snuggie on the ironing board
Launching a full investigation into the guy who walked out during defying gravity
December 12, 2024 at 10:21 PM
Launching a full investigation into the guy who walked out during defying gravity
Come see me on exhibit at @sandiegozoo.bsky.social
December 8, 2024 at 12:48 AM
Come see me on exhibit at @sandiegozoo.bsky.social
Ok I just deep fried the turkey, but what should I do with all this leftover fire
November 28, 2024 at 10:25 PM
Ok I just deep fried the turkey, but what should I do with all this leftover fire
Reposted by PhilsNotChill
You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you get thrown out of a pet store
November 23, 2024 at 4:26 AM
You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you get thrown out of a pet store
Don't worry, I won't be singing Defying Gravity while watching Wicked.
I will, however, be singing it during Gladiator II.
I will, however, be singing it during Gladiator II.
November 23, 2024 at 1:02 AM
Don't worry, I won't be singing Defying Gravity while watching Wicked.
I will, however, be singing it during Gladiator II.
I will, however, be singing it during Gladiator II.
TIL that "Dance Moms" was not a show about dancing moms
November 22, 2024 at 9:11 PM
TIL that "Dance Moms" was not a show about dancing moms
Finally my good-looking tongue gets the recognition it deserves
November 15, 2024 at 5:43 AM
Finally my good-looking tongue gets the recognition it deserves