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Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · 2h

to OutKast’s "Dracula's Wedding":
🎵 oooh, antifa's girlfriend 🎵

Reposted by Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · Jul 24

When it happens, you're probably not even going to learn about it directly before you feel it in the air. You'll just hear car horns and cheering in the streets. You'll feel confused, annoyed. You'll check your phone. Huh, 41 new texts.

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Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · 3h

oh hell yes i would be delighted

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Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · 3h

wife, coming back from trial to the big salad i made for dinner: "that's a good lookin salad! im not gonna eat of it though! I'm goin' garbage mode! i'm sacrificing my health for this trial"

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Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · 3h

same! i thought i would at least ameliorate my disappointment by getting a new can of primer while i was there, but they were sold out of White Scar... no one suffers like i suffer..

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Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · 4h

Poison Ivy developing a Social Media Influencer alt-persona named Lichen Subscribe

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Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · 5h

r'lyeh - outsiders always butcher it but it actually just sounds like "raleigh" like in raleigh-durham

Merriam-Webster @merriam-webster.com · 7h

What’s the word where you’re from that, when pronounced exactly as it looks, identifies a tourist immediately?

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Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · 6h

please do not share my Aquaman fic without my express permission

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Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · 7h

"hey man, I'm griph. look, im gonna be honest, I'm here because you're being gangstalked and we were all supposed to sit right around you, but the other four guys called out sick"

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Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · 10h

brother are ya all caught up on Ted Chiang

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Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · 15h

holy god, it's been a minute since i encountered the "corncob is homophobic" attempt. it's wild how many people jumped to "oh so you tweeted about a small object? you're saying you want to put that small object in my ass? you're saying YOU desire to get that small object into MY ass?"

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Reposted by Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer

furby hancock @furbyhancock.bsky.social · 1d

making you stand and wait while i look for a specific guy in the garden of earthly delights on my phone

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Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · 1d

the weirdest thing us that he just straight up stops talking. it's not like his reception is bad so he doesnt answer a question! you dont need reception to finish a few sentences!! you wouldnt even notice if the reception is bad!!!!

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Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · 1d

the neighbor kids just asked my kids how our trip to Philadelphia was, and i overheard my 8-year-old say "great! we stayed in a PERFECT HOTEL that had a WHITE DESK where i could work on my book!"

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Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · 1d

this is my favorite "pitch" on any of my kids' toys because it's like "no matter which of the two types of parent you are - and we would NEVER ask - we gotcha covered"

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Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · 1d

the file folder in my brain that holds all the info about my wife's skincare routine

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Reposted by Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer

Patrick Monahan @pattymo.com · Oct 16

Album cover for “NOW THAT’S WHAT I CALL [INSTEAD OF MUSIC] LITTLE SONGS I SING TO MY DOG! 87”

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Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · 2d

Games Workshop soft-launching female space marines with some Tough Butch Ultramarines. if all goes well, next release is an Emperor's Children upgrade sprue where they all look like Christy Turlington passive-aggressively denigrating your choice of restuarant

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Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · 2d

my 8-year-old got the chance to enroll in a free city-run "girls learn woodworking" program and i was visibly vibrating with restraint when i told her "you can sign up for this if you want. you don't have to. its fine either way. it's your choice. whatever you. whatever you like. I'll be. fine"

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Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · 2d

looks like a solid choice for next year

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Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · 2d

given how much Blume threw at us, i think it felt pretty natural when i moved on to Stephen King books. "huh i guess all this nadine stuff in The Stand will be a regular part of adulthood too"

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Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · 2d

saw a copy of Judy Blume's "Then Again Maybe I Won't" in the thrift store and was reminded of being startled by it as a child, all "i loved Superfudge! guess now it's time to read So You've Started Blasting Ropes"

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Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · 2d

i assumed this was something he said like off-the-cuff in a bar and didnt realize he was talking to a gossip reporter? but then i dug around and discovered it was from an FHM interview, apparently

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Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · 2d

"john pettus" sounds like the stock character name for an old lecherous englishman in a punch and judy show

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Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · 2d

at some point she - a very rich person - posted a long thing about how to negotiate the lowest possible price when buying a car, and it felt kinda like Stolen Valor

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