John Morris
@pumpkinsam.bsky.social
I could write you a song but then I’d have to kill you softly with it.
johnfmorris.com
johnfmorris.com
I tried to make vegetable soup this week but I never did it before so the food left the soup category right away, shot right on past stew and became just a bunch of vegetables and noodles in tomato sauce. I probably could have added a few cups of liquid to turn it back into soup but why bother.
January 3, 2026 at 4:03 AM
I tried to make vegetable soup this week but I never did it before so the food left the soup category right away, shot right on past stew and became just a bunch of vegetables and noodles in tomato sauce. I probably could have added a few cups of liquid to turn it back into soup but why bother.
It seems a little weird to honor victims who perished in a deadly fire by lighting a million candles in their memory.
January 3, 2026 at 12:35 AM
It seems a little weird to honor victims who perished in a deadly fire by lighting a million candles in their memory.
I’m proud of my frugal habits, but I miss the days when it wasn’t possible to save this much money on groceries in a year. At least not without noticing it.
January 2, 2026 at 2:06 AM
I’m proud of my frugal habits, but I miss the days when it wasn’t possible to save this much money on groceries in a year. At least not without noticing it.
Oh yeah! Everything‘s coming up Milhouse!
January 1, 2026 at 8:48 PM
Oh yeah! Everything‘s coming up Milhouse!
I don’t know what is going on with this mystery affliction I have developed. Last night my whole body turned red and splotchy, as though I had stripped naked and rolled around in poison ivy. But not quite as itchy, thankfully. This morning most of that has faded but now my hands have flared up.
January 1, 2026 at 5:28 PM
I don’t know what is going on with this mystery affliction I have developed. Last night my whole body turned red and splotchy, as though I had stripped naked and rolled around in poison ivy. But not quite as itchy, thankfully. This morning most of that has faded but now my hands have flared up.
Oh, that’s a bittersweet memory. I get sad when things reach the end of their life, even inanimate objects. I have a little brochure that came with mine. These are just a few of the pages.
December 25, 2025 at 3:33 AM
Oh, that’s a bittersweet memory. I get sad when things reach the end of their life, even inanimate objects. I have a little brochure that came with mine. These are just a few of the pages.
Once I have gained some knowledge at restoring typewriters, I will put the skills to work on this Royal which I have had for decades but only used as a decoration. My great-grandparents purchased it new in 1938. I also have an LC Smith from around 1910 which I believe was their previous typewriter.
December 25, 2025 at 2:52 AM
Once I have gained some knowledge at restoring typewriters, I will put the skills to work on this Royal which I have had for decades but only used as a decoration. My great-grandparents purchased it new in 1938. I also have an LC Smith from around 1910 which I believe was their previous typewriter.
Three of the typewriters were not so great. I was told the two electric IBM‘s (which weigh a ton) do not work and one of them suffered major damage when the man dropped it on the way up from his basement. And the Remington is a literal basket case. But maybe I can use those for practice.
December 25, 2025 at 2:35 AM
Three of the typewriters were not so great. I was told the two electric IBM‘s (which weigh a ton) do not work and one of them suffered major damage when the man dropped it on the way up from his basement. And the Remington is a literal basket case. But maybe I can use those for practice.
Santa brought me a new hobby yesterday thanks to an ad in the free section of craigslist for manual typewriters. There were no photos so I feared picking up a bunch of junk but they turned out to be pretty decent. Now I can learn how to clean and restore them. Then I need to find something to type.
December 25, 2025 at 2:22 AM
Santa brought me a new hobby yesterday thanks to an ad in the free section of craigslist for manual typewriters. There were no photos so I feared picking up a bunch of junk but they turned out to be pretty decent. Now I can learn how to clean and restore them. Then I need to find something to type.
Does your 8-year-old want to dress up like David Niven and pick up women at the Playboy Club while smooth jazz plays in the background? Sears has got you covered. Whether your boy is a Howard Cosell or a Howard Hughes, we can dress him for success. Order now and he can swiftly be clad in plaid!
December 20, 2025 at 11:21 PM
Does your 8-year-old want to dress up like David Niven and pick up women at the Playboy Club while smooth jazz plays in the background? Sears has got you covered. Whether your boy is a Howard Cosell or a Howard Hughes, we can dress him for success. Order now and he can swiftly be clad in plaid!
It feels like I just posted one of these, but here is another specific example of why Google can’t be trusted anymore. I was looking up an episode of “WKRP in Cincinnati” and the Google summary says it was S4,E10. As every other link below this correctly noted, it was episode 9, not 10. Simple fact.
December 15, 2025 at 12:45 AM
It feels like I just posted one of these, but here is another specific example of why Google can’t be trusted anymore. I was looking up an episode of “WKRP in Cincinnati” and the Google summary says it was S4,E10. As every other link below this correctly noted, it was episode 9, not 10. Simple fact.
Drunk raccoon even made it onto Saturday Night Live! What a great week it is having. 🍾🦝
December 7, 2025 at 5:32 AM
Drunk raccoon even made it onto Saturday Night Live! What a great week it is having. 🍾🦝
It really is a magical time of year. For everybody.
December 3, 2025 at 9:03 PM
It really is a magical time of year. For everybody.
…in preparation for the inevitable day it becomes a living hell as your house is burglarized, vandalized, and set on fire all at the same time while your bratty kids launch baseballs at the neighbor’s home and your dog, influenced by one too many Coppertone billboards, assaults their daughter.
December 3, 2025 at 1:52 AM
…in preparation for the inevitable day it becomes a living hell as your house is burglarized, vandalized, and set on fire all at the same time while your bratty kids launch baseballs at the neighbor’s home and your dog, influenced by one too many Coppertone billboards, assaults their daughter.
Be smart and insure your idyllic 1960s suburban existence with Allstate!
December 3, 2025 at 1:52 AM
Be smart and insure your idyllic 1960s suburban existence with Allstate!
…in preparation for the inevitable day it becomes a living hell as your house is burglarized, vandalized, and set on fire all at the same time while your bratty kids launch baseballs at the neighbor’s home and your dog, influenced by one too many Coppertone billboards, assaults their daughter.
December 3, 2025 at 1:49 AM
…in preparation for the inevitable day it becomes a living hell as your house is burglarized, vandalized, and set on fire all at the same time while your bratty kids launch baseballs at the neighbor’s home and your dog, influenced by one too many Coppertone billboards, assaults their daughter.
It would be hilarious if it wasn’t so maddening and predictable. The kitchen scale display has been on and off for a couple of years. I finally give in and buy a new one on Black Friday. Right before I put it to use I give the old scale a last chance and it goes “See, there’s nothing wrong with me.”
December 1, 2025 at 1:06 AM
It would be hilarious if it wasn’t so maddening and predictable. The kitchen scale display has been on and off for a couple of years. I finally give in and buy a new one on Black Friday. Right before I put it to use I give the old scale a last chance and it goes “See, there’s nothing wrong with me.”
My popcorn air popper didn’t even last two years before its plastic fan cracked. Contacted the company who told me “We don’t sell replacement parts.” So my $30 appliance is no good because of a 99¢ fan. I plan to try using epoxy on it but I have low hopes of success.
November 30, 2025 at 2:05 AM
My popcorn air popper didn’t even last two years before its plastic fan cracked. Contacted the company who told me “We don’t sell replacement parts.” So my $30 appliance is no good because of a 99¢ fan. I plan to try using epoxy on it but I have low hopes of success.
It’s frustrating that my microwave and toaster from the 1980s still work fine, but kitchen appliances I bought the last few years are dying on me. My kitchen scale display is barely readable. Which is also frustrating because otherwise it works fine but I will have to throw it out.
November 30, 2025 at 1:55 AM
It’s frustrating that my microwave and toaster from the 1980s still work fine, but kitchen appliances I bought the last few years are dying on me. My kitchen scale display is barely readable. Which is also frustrating because otherwise it works fine but I will have to throw it out.
Prepare to fire the photon potatoes, Mr. Chekov.
November 27, 2025 at 4:38 PM
Prepare to fire the photon potatoes, Mr. Chekov.
The pumpkin pie I made last night for Thanksgiving was begging me to eat it a day early, so I had to distract myself by baking a birthday cake.
November 27, 2025 at 4:11 AM
The pumpkin pie I made last night for Thanksgiving was begging me to eat it a day early, so I had to distract myself by baking a birthday cake.
I always think of poodles (and pink) as a 1950s fad, but apparently they were still showing up in 1967. I will have to turn back to the ladies’ fashion pages and see if there were any poodle skirts in there I didn’t notice the first time through.
November 26, 2025 at 4:14 AM
I always think of poodles (and pink) as a 1950s fad, but apparently they were still showing up in 1967. I will have to turn back to the ladies’ fashion pages and see if there were any poodle skirts in there I didn’t notice the first time through.
I’m leery of rechargeable things because once the battery goes, the whole thing is dead. I have a set of these lights which can cycle through all different colors and they don’t work at all anymore. Of course a candle is less of a financial risk, I think these were like $40 when I bought them.
November 25, 2025 at 5:35 AM
I’m leery of rechargeable things because once the battery goes, the whole thing is dead. I have a set of these lights which can cycle through all different colors and they don’t work at all anymore. Of course a candle is less of a financial risk, I think these were like $40 when I bought them.
If you were a lady in the 1960s, it was not easy - or cheap - to have dry hair. You had to get a bonnet for your beehive. Also I guess the electric hairbrush never caught on.
November 25, 2025 at 2:08 AM
If you were a lady in the 1960s, it was not easy - or cheap - to have dry hair. You had to get a bonnet for your beehive. Also I guess the electric hairbrush never caught on.