I've been anxious about this recruitment all week. It's cast a shadow over my time off. Even when I was enjoying myself, I just kept thinking, "What's waiting for me when I open the ATS?" God, I hate my brain sometimes.

Number 625: the Judi Dench audio guide to erotica which consists solely of the sound of her flipping pages and occasionally muttering “…filth”

Exquisite 😍

Alt text

I'm VERY glad the Vraylar works for you and that you found something that helps. I'm VERY glad you're still here. 🧡

And no one who isn't dealing with this disorder understands how tiresome it is to constantly tweak what you're on & try new drugs & debate which side effects are manageable & which are untenable. They lose patience & drop you, at least in my experience. I'm VERY lucky to have the support I have now!

You could not pay me enough money to go back in time to before being properly diagnosed. It was a struggle to want to stay alive, & I've found better living through pharmaceuticals. I still wonder "do I even NEED these meds?" then I drop off for a bit & learn the hard way that yes, yes I do.

I was misdiagnosed in college as just having depression & anxiety, so they put me on SSRIs, which can exacerbate manic episodes in bipolar people. I've been on Lamictal since my mid-20s, whenever I've had insurance. Added Abilify a few years ago. Buspar for anxiety was a life saver. Xanax as needed.

Number 617: tampons that buzz when you get a new email