Radio Free Olive
@radiofreeolive.bsky.social
Me, as a drug lord, meeting Gwen Stefani for the first time: "I'll need you to conceal some drugs in your dorsal cavity when we cross the border."
Gwen: "Huh?"
Me: "Aren't you a hollow back girl?"
Gwen: "Huh?"
Me: "Aren't you a hollow back girl?"
October 4, 2025 at 10:29 PM
Me, as a drug lord, meeting Gwen Stefani for the first time: "I'll need you to conceal some drugs in your dorsal cavity when we cross the border."
Gwen: "Huh?"
Me: "Aren't you a hollow back girl?"
Gwen: "Huh?"
Me: "Aren't you a hollow back girl?"
Do you suppose Michelangelo made faces like sinners suffering the torments of hell while he drew cartoons of them on the ceiling?
August 28, 2025 at 8:32 PM
Do you suppose Michelangelo made faces like sinners suffering the torments of hell while he drew cartoons of them on the ceiling?
"Fortune favors the bold": Only boldness armed with wisdom. For every bold thinker who won, thousands of thoughtless fools have smashed themselves to pieces on the rocks. Fortune favors insight and careful planning.
August 23, 2025 at 4:12 PM
"Fortune favors the bold": Only boldness armed with wisdom. For every bold thinker who won, thousands of thoughtless fools have smashed themselves to pieces on the rocks. Fortune favors insight and careful planning.
Little-known fact: Before there were electric guitars, people simulated playing all sorts of other instruments. One of them, Amelia Grubenheimer, was so good at faking the harp that she changed her name to Amelia Airharp before becoming famous as a pilot.
July 14, 2025 at 9:58 PM
Little-known fact: Before there were electric guitars, people simulated playing all sorts of other instruments. One of them, Amelia Grubenheimer, was so good at faking the harp that she changed her name to Amelia Airharp before becoming famous as a pilot.
Nobody wants to pay me to feel unmotivated, so I'm really more of an amateur crastinator.
July 14, 2025 at 4:27 PM
Nobody wants to pay me to feel unmotivated, so I'm really more of an amateur crastinator.
Just saw Fountain of Youth, anyway, if you happen to run into Guy Ritchie, tell him Bryan said go to go to hell
June 14, 2025 at 8:22 PM
Just saw Fountain of Youth, anyway, if you happen to run into Guy Ritchie, tell him Bryan said go to go to hell
Me to waiter: "If I order a pork timberloin instead, will they carve me one out of wood?"
For material like that, this guy should be tipping ME.
For material like that, this guy should be tipping ME.
June 13, 2025 at 9:34 PM
Me to waiter: "If I order a pork timberloin instead, will they carve me one out of wood?"
For material like that, this guy should be tipping ME.
For material like that, this guy should be tipping ME.
I can't be the only one wondering about this
May 23, 2025 at 10:16 PM
I can't be the only one wondering about this
Smart people divide tasks into stages. Today I shaved the left half of my face. I'll probably shave the other half tomorrow, after that job interview.
May 13, 2025 at 11:16 AM
Smart people divide tasks into stages. Today I shaved the left half of my face. I'll probably shave the other half tomorrow, after that job interview.
Having a sneezing fit and then cleaning my screen with industrial solvents - what did I miss?
May 2, 2025 at 1:02 AM
Having a sneezing fit and then cleaning my screen with industrial solvents - what did I miss?
Aragorn: You have my sword.
Legolas: And you have my bow.
Gimli: And my axe.
Monica: And me in your life.
Erica: And me by your side.
Legolas: And you have my bow.
Gimli: And my axe.
Monica: And me in your life.
Erica: And me by your side.
April 8, 2025 at 5:19 PM
Aragorn: You have my sword.
Legolas: And you have my bow.
Gimli: And my axe.
Monica: And me in your life.
Erica: And me by your side.
Legolas: And you have my bow.
Gimli: And my axe.
Monica: And me in your life.
Erica: And me by your side.
It seems there is a specific color that should be called 'dictionary blue'
April 7, 2025 at 9:32 PM
It seems there is a specific color that should be called 'dictionary blue'
Blind all the groundhogs.
February 17, 2025 at 9:36 AM
Blind all the groundhogs.
When you look up a word in the OED and discover that one of their historical usages is the sentence you've just read - I wonder if the Germans have a word for that feeling of completeness.
February 2, 2025 at 4:48 PM
When you look up a word in the OED and discover that one of their historical usages is the sentence you've just read - I wonder if the Germans have a word for that feeling of completeness.
God, nobody ever knew your buttons the way Frederic Chopin did.
January 31, 2025 at 3:21 PM
God, nobody ever knew your buttons the way Frederic Chopin did.
Transmission on this stupid time machine is jammed again; it only goes forward at the rate of one day per day.
January 25, 2025 at 4:07 PM
Transmission on this stupid time machine is jammed again; it only goes forward at the rate of one day per day.
Congratulations to THE Ohio State University for rocketing past the Biohazard University Flesh-Eating Viruses to finish second from last in this year's overall likability rankings!
January 21, 2025 at 12:50 AM
Congratulations to THE Ohio State University for rocketing past the Biohazard University Flesh-Eating Viruses to finish second from last in this year's overall likability rankings!
Try, or do not try. Walk down the middle, get squished like grape.
-Yoda Miyagi
-Yoda Miyagi
January 9, 2025 at 2:43 PM
Try, or do not try. Walk down the middle, get squished like grape.
-Yoda Miyagi
-Yoda Miyagi
Where's the social platform where people go when they don't want to hear everybody's political opinions?
December 20, 2024 at 6:12 PM
Where's the social platform where people go when they don't want to hear everybody's political opinions?
Reposted by Radio Free Olive
If you're looking for a gift to stuff in someone's stocking, a book of one sentence animal noir scenarios to inspire your imagination is cheaper than a bag of disposable razors, much more fun, and lasts a lifetime!
www.amazon.com/Yak-Been-Tol...
www.amazon.com/Yak-Been-Tol...
The Yak Had Been Told Not to Talk Back...: Another Selection of Short Animal Noir
The Yak Had Been Told Not to Talk Back...: Another Selection of Short Animal Noir [Murchfield, Caldwell, Lanning, Bruce] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. The Yak Had Been Told Not to Talk Back...: Another Selection of Short Animal Noir
www.amazon.com
December 9, 2024 at 6:41 AM
If you're looking for a gift to stuff in someone's stocking, a book of one sentence animal noir scenarios to inspire your imagination is cheaper than a bag of disposable razors, much more fun, and lasts a lifetime!
www.amazon.com/Yak-Been-Tol...
www.amazon.com/Yak-Been-Tol...
Reposted by Radio Free Olive
[Paul Revere's Midnight Ride on a pogo stick]
"The"
*bounce*
"British"
*bounce*
"are"
*bounce*
"coming!!"
*bounce*
*bounce*
"The"
*bounce*
"British"
*bounce*
"are"
*bounce*
"coming!!"
*bounce*
*bounce*
July 4, 2023 at 9:11 PM
[Paul Revere's Midnight Ride on a pogo stick]
"The"
*bounce*
"British"
*bounce*
"are"
*bounce*
"coming!!"
*bounce*
*bounce*
"The"
*bounce*
"British"
*bounce*
"are"
*bounce*
"coming!!"
*bounce*
*bounce*
Reposted by Radio Free Olive
Surgeon: So everything went well, mostly. We ran out of blood in the middle and improvised.
Me: Improvised?
*swarms of hummingbirds begin pelting the windows in Recovery*
Surgeon: The nectar should start filtering out of your body in 30 days. Try to stay inside.
Me: Improvised?
*swarms of hummingbirds begin pelting the windows in Recovery*
Surgeon: The nectar should start filtering out of your body in 30 days. Try to stay inside.
July 12, 2023 at 7:41 PM
Surgeon: So everything went well, mostly. We ran out of blood in the middle and improvised.
Me: Improvised?
*swarms of hummingbirds begin pelting the windows in Recovery*
Surgeon: The nectar should start filtering out of your body in 30 days. Try to stay inside.
Me: Improvised?
*swarms of hummingbirds begin pelting the windows in Recovery*
Surgeon: The nectar should start filtering out of your body in 30 days. Try to stay inside.
Show me a picture on your phone that has your energy and isn't a selfie.
November 27, 2024 at 12:56 PM
Show me a picture on your phone that has your energy and isn't a selfie.
Honestly, where would Looney Tunes be without Sergei Prokofiev to show them the way? youtu.be/oZ5WMZUbKy4?...
Peter and the Wolf by Sergei Prokofiev - Academy of London Orchestra - Narrated by John Gielgud
YouTube video by Roman Styran
youtu.be
November 26, 2024 at 11:23 PM
Honestly, where would Looney Tunes be without Sergei Prokofiev to show them the way? youtu.be/oZ5WMZUbKy4?...