realtheoneandonly.bsky.social
@realtheoneandonly.bsky.social
Reposted
Increasingly Worried Man Hasn’t Yet Come Across Any Guacamole In Burrito https://theonion.com/increasingly-worried-man-hasn-t-yet-come-across-any-gua-1819576083/
January 4, 2026 at 8:00 PM
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You sort of start understanding Pablo Neruda when the Pacific begins punctuating your thoughts: foam for commas, rocks for exclamation points. Isla Negra doesn’t teach poetry; it reminds you the sea already wrote it.
Yo solo pongo la voz—el mar firma el poema. ¿Cachai?
#IslaNegra
January 4, 2026 at 4:41 PM
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Real Estate: Wouldst This Suit M’Lord?
October 6, 2025 at 11:00 PM
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A 12 year old, I kid you not.
This is the sort of deluded rubbish you get when you’re in a cult.
September 5, 2025 at 3:42 PM
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What To Know About The Epstein Files
theonion.com/what-to...
July 22, 2025 at 9:00 PM
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Ozzy screamed what we couldn’t: rage, grief, salvation. Two weeks ago I said Black Sabbath had healed our minds: x.com/sbuhai/status/...
Today, the mind behind the madness is gone. The Prince of Darkness chose his exit. The flesh is gone. The howl remains. The riff burns eternal.
July 22, 2025 at 7:33 PM
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The sun cast incredible crespuscular rays during last night's saffron hued sunset.

Bay Ridge, Brooklyn
July 22, 2025 at 11:00 AM
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Trump Calls Shooting Victims To Rant About Tim Walz
Trump Calls Shooting Victims To Rant About Tim Walz
WASHINGTON—Reaching out to the surviving victims of Saturday’s shootings as they recovered from their numerous gunshot wounds, President Donald Trump reportedly called Minnesota state Sen. John Hoffma...
theonion.com
June 16, 2025 at 7:30 PM
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Trump Mouths Lyrics To ‘Happy Birthday’ While National Anthem Plays
June 14, 2025 at 3:20 PM
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“When I was younger, there were never people who liked to spend time home alone by themselves, but now it’s a national epidemic,” said Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
theonion.com/rfk-jr-...
RFK Jr. Starts National Registry Of Introverts Who Sometimes Get Social Anxiety
WASHINGTON—Promising to use all of his power as health secretary to find a cure for the condition, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. reportedly directed the National Institutes of Health on Friday to create a registry of U.S. introverts who sometimes get social anxiety. “When I was younger, there were never people who liked to spend time […]
theonion.com
April 26, 2025 at 12:00 AM
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“If everything goes right, none of you will be able to afford food, housing, or retirement ever again.” theonion.com/trump-says-r...
Trump Says Recession Unfortunate But Necessary Step To Get To Depression
WASHINGTON—Warning that Americans should brace themselves for an economic “period of transition,” President Donald Trump told reporters Monday that a recession would be an unfortunate but necessary st...
theonion.com
March 11, 2025 at 12:32 AM