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Reuters Pitchbot
@reuterspitchbot.bsky.social
International world news for the capitalist class. Satirical. Parody account. Not Reuters.
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Democrats vow to get more misogynistic in appeal to voting-age men
May 28, 2025 at 2:22 PM
Stocks open lower today as markets react to news of JD Vance killing the Pope
April 21, 2025 at 1:48 PM
BREAKING: 400 countries in active trade negotiations with the US, trade advisor says
April 15, 2025 at 1:17 PM
Stocks up higher after President Trump encourages markets to "BE COOL"
April 9, 2025 at 2:05 PM
BREAKING: Conservatives begin boycott of stock markets, citing anti-Trump bias
April 8, 2025 at 6:59 PM
BREAKING: US-backed President of South Korea Yoon Suk-yeol found guilty in martial law declaration, permanently removed from office
April 4, 2025 at 3:08 AM
Opinion | Not everyone you disagree with is a “Nazi”
March 19, 2025 at 2:09 PM
Democrats vow to abandon new segment of their base every month until morale improves
March 7, 2025 at 2:50 PM
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis offers South Korean President Yoon political asylum
December 4, 2024 at 1:43 AM
Opinion | You can't even declare martial law these days with all the cancel culture going on.

by Yoon Suk-yeol
December 3, 2024 at 9:40 PM
Markets soar as South Korean President declares military dictatorship
December 3, 2024 at 4:02 PM
US police departments across the nation say they won't be disciplining officers found to be on membership lists of right-wing extremist organizations, saying it would cause a severe manpower shortage in every department
November 22, 2024 at 5:06 PM
Israel accuses civilian targets of embedding inside civilian areas
November 21, 2024 at 8:14 PM
The White House says the ICC arrest warrants against Israeli PM Netanyahu may scupper ongoing ceasefire negotiations that aren't actually happening
November 21, 2024 at 6:23 PM