I unravel it all the time like a ball of yarn on a project I'm desperate to start.

I get the needles and try to start.

But there's no form or pattern to follow. It seems I'm missing necessary parts.

How do I begin then? How do I know it's done?

What if I'm never actually ready?

When do I know to take it down off the shelf.

Do I just wipe off the dust that settles? Do I let it collect time and particles?

Maybe it's not something I'm meant to have in this lifetime. And it burns and aches to think that.

But what evidence to the contrary?

Initial video when there was no peanuts on thr ledge. Shameful of me really lol

I'll look forward to their return in warmer days! I wonder if there will be new friends or even :o new baby crows.

Such is life, things come and go but new things are on the horizon.

They might have migrated south to warmer nests.

I hardly hear their calls during the sunlight hours.

I'm saddened but I understand. They gotta do their aminal thing and I gotta do my human bean thing.

I'll still leave some treats out just in case they do a morning stop when I'm not here.

Findings this morning.

Interesting note is that they get the fat treats and most of the peanuts. Almonds don't seem to be the hot commodity anymore.

How can I miss someone who hurt me worse than anyone? And I've been hurt by people I love more than I care to admit.

There were good moments. There was. I can't think of them because I mourned it. And then she passed and here I am again, grasping at what will never be?