Cool Hand Puke
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rhystalkstrash.bsky.social
Cool Hand Puke
@rhystalkstrash.bsky.social
*squelching noises*
@netflix.com now that you own HBO, please resurrect Legendary. It was a great show that was unfairly deleted in the anti-woke Discovery takeover and you have a chance to do the right thing
December 6, 2025 at 5:14 PM
Watching The Maze Runner (stoned) and this shit should've been called "We Call This The Thingy", because every 5 minutes the protagonist sees something weird and asks what it is, then another character says "We call it a Groofus"
October 27, 2025 at 8:30 PM
You've heard of trauma dumping, but what about trauma dumpling? Is that something? I yearn for an end to this nightmare
October 12, 2025 at 4:55 AM
Beaujolais Nouveau sucks ass and if you like it, you are stupid and morally deficient. Only Hell awaits you
October 11, 2025 at 6:11 PM
Sometimes I get too high and obsess about what Lester Bangs would've thought about Imagine Dragons
September 14, 2025 at 3:27 AM
Last night was a 404 error
September 8, 2025 at 1:22 AM
Every time I have to Google the meaning of some new Internet slang, I feel a new wrinkle form at the creases of my weary eyes
August 21, 2025 at 4:25 PM
If you're focused on criticizing Israel, but not taking about the persecution of Nlümoogs by the Kzumvet Imperium on Xesip 14, you need to admit that you're just an antisemite
July 31, 2025 at 5:09 PM
Burn in hell, #hulkhogan, you racist, union-busting, piece of shit!
July 24, 2025 at 4:06 PM
People who watch Reels / Tik Tok with the volume on in public waiting rooms should be executed on the spot. Change my mind
July 21, 2025 at 6:01 PM
White people love holding a door wide open, only for another white person to say "You're letting all the AC out"
July 19, 2025 at 5:20 PM
'It's a Killing Field': IDF Soldiers Ordered to Shoot Deliberately at Unarmed Gazans Waiting for Humanitarian Aid - Israel News - Haaretz.com share.google/FUdcIN8G9GSH...
Haaretz | Israel News, the Middle East and the Jewish World - Haaretz.com
Haaretz.com - Breaking News, Analysis and Opinion From Israel, the Middle East and the Jewish World - Haaretz
Haaretz.com
June 27, 2025 at 5:09 PM
Reposted by Cool Hand Puke
Zohran: Imagine living in a city where you can afford your rent, your groceries and even a meal at a restaurant now and then without much stress

Eric Adams: Imagine a platypus so powerful that it could destroy the city. We need more cops
June 27, 2025 at 5:04 AM
Tucker Carlson brutally dog-walking Ted Cruz is so funny, because it doesn't make Tucker look particularly smart, it just reveals how deeply fucking stupid Ted Cruz is
June 22, 2025 at 8:36 PM
Every headline provides further justification for my vasectomy
June 22, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Reposted by Cool Hand Puke
It’s a good thing Congress isn’t alive to see this
June 22, 2025 at 12:47 AM
Tom Homan talks like he has three tongues in his mouth and they're all fighting each other
June 22, 2025 at 6:28 PM
It's Dipshit Day at the Asshole Factory and, unbeknownst to me, I've been appointed Interim Foreman, after my predecessor unalived himself upon discovering that his wife of 24 years was catfishing him from an internet cafe in Lagos
June 21, 2025 at 5:49 PM
Reposted by Cool Hand Puke
holy shit. Cuomo halted an investigation into the Weinstein case after a donation from Weinstein’s former lawyer’s firm to his reelection campaign…

guys, this was in 2018 AFTER the Weinstein exposés (multiple) had been published & the #metoo movement was ascendant
June 20, 2025 at 10:28 PM
I like to tie my boots title-sequence-of-Dexter tight
June 14, 2025 at 6:41 PM
Pro tip from an industry insider: if you would like to receive service from a retail/hospitality worker, please consider GETTING THE FUCK OFF YOUR FUCKING PHONE, YOU DUMB FUCK
June 14, 2025 at 5:16 PM
White dudes talking about whiskey is top tier boring. No one fucking cares about the bottle of Eagle Rare you keep for special occasions, Seth
June 14, 2025 at 4:53 PM
Movie Idea: Butt Gassidy & the FartPants Kid
June 6, 2025 at 4:03 AM
Had a dream that Joe Biden had an OF and his catchphrase was "Time to get jackin', Jack!"
June 4, 2025 at 5:49 PM
Work in retail/hospitality long enough and you can smell when a customer is about to ask a desperately stupid question, much like a shaman sensing the approach of an unseasonably bad storm
May 23, 2025 at 8:06 PM