Shit i have too much to do. I dont think I can even call him let alone break up. OK ill have to finish things by Friday and do it.

I also got an earful of - my bf watches news, he is so busy all day, my bf took me to shady bars and it matched my vibe, my bf is sobo, I told my bf its my breakup anniversary and he told me forever ever sth sth. Piss in my ears and barf my guts out. I have to watch some high brow shit to sanitize.

I know its incredibly stupid. Fuck needs! Who says that! Carpe diem right. Go on trips, have sex, see waterfalls, dance, connect with people, take lifes pleasures! I dont know, i know im dumb. I literally have a low IQ disorder. I am stupid and fucking sisyphus. I should own it.

www.webmd.com/balance/what... - although I found totally by chance while very desparate. Republic day tomorrow so have been using this almost 12 hours today.

Once my routine is broken, i ruminate and thats bad. Career not there. Personal life nope: Ive wanted to break up since forever, he is in denial, im avoiding him, he doesnt get it and is waiting, im like whatever hes alone im alone we talk for few minutes win-win sub-optimal temporary solution.