Karen Rontowski
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rontowski.bsky.social
Karen Rontowski
@rontowski.bsky.social
Standup.Tarot Reader.
Captain of the Orion Interplanetary Army
Bill Gates says in the future with AI you will be able to be in 3 meetings at once.

I wonder if I will need separate excuses or will the same one get me out of all 3 meetings
December 7, 2025 at 4:56 PM
It makes no sense that married people get lower car insurance rates because they have so much less to live for
December 4, 2025 at 3:52 PM
Experts say if you have 10 new smells a day it will increase your memory

I don’t know about that. I’ve been to a nursing home where they’ve had 10 new smells a minute and no one could remember anything.
December 3, 2025 at 3:47 PM
I’m not saying I wouldn’t make a good mother but when I watch Welcome to Derry I root for the clown
December 1, 2025 at 2:41 PM
There’s a lot of yoga in LA! There’s puppy yoga, there’s hot yoga, there’s yoga with a side of ranch…
November 29, 2025 at 9:27 PM
Everyone keep your eye on your phone. Trump is gonna fire everyone!

The 4th caller gets to be the head of the FBI
November 28, 2025 at 7:59 PM
Turns out it wasn’t the best idea to put me in charge of my father’s ashes.

On a different note if anyone sees a box labeled, John rontowski can you let me know?
November 26, 2025 at 5:41 PM
November 26, 2025 at 5:03 PM
November 24, 2025 at 3:22 PM
November 22, 2025 at 4:34 PM
November 21, 2025 at 4:14 PM
November 20, 2025 at 4:03 PM
I don’t do witchcraft. I feel like I’m more witchcraft adjacent.
I don’t use Eye of Newt.
Only Ear of Newt.
November 19, 2025 at 5:42 PM
My father passed away 2 years ago so now when I open a portal in my apartment I hear him yell , What are you hearing the whole Universe now?”
November 18, 2025 at 3:13 PM
For women both porn and murder start the same way

With a man coming to your house to fix something.
November 17, 2025 at 3:28 PM
I put a bunch of compression bags in a compression bag and then compress them.

There is now a black hole in my apartment
November 15, 2025 at 4:53 PM
Hey Dan Bongino, I warned you! I thought you had a soul and we’re gonna see this coming but you’re going down
November 13, 2025 at 3:44 PM
So Epstein talked about Trump walking into the glass at the Hawaii Hawaiian tropic contest?

Let’s start the list
1. Hawaiian Tropic
November 13, 2025 at 3:34 PM
Hey Trump, you know it’s bad when Jeffrey Epstein says you’re a bad guy
November 13, 2025 at 3:30 PM
The plot thickens! The more that comes out about the Epstein files the less power just Lanie has to get her pardon so the pressure is on! If she wants out, she has to blackmail him now
November 12, 2025 at 8:01 PM
If a cop pulls me over, I’m going to say, “isn’t this however horror movie starts with a New York license plate getting pulled over on a Texas freeway? “
November 11, 2025 at 3:23 PM
So if they end this shut down, which I hope they do, doesn’t Mike Johnson have to swear in the congresswoman from Arizona who would be the deciding vote on releasing the Epstein files?

It’s getting sticky!
November 10, 2025 at 2:19 PM
Driving cross country is so beautiful and opening my eyes to new experiences

The hard part is finding new places to bury bodies
November 10, 2025 at 2:14 PM
The temperature control in my hotel only has two settings.
Cool and Afghanistan
November 7, 2025 at 1:37 PM
Vegas was fun!
November 3, 2025 at 3:50 PM