You have more in common with the average Iranian citizen than you do with the people that run this country

Truly. Financially. How are you all buying boneless skinless chicken breast?

Where are people getting money? Cuz I know it’s not at jobs.

I have never struggled to yap. But as I reach month 6 of unemployment and constant job searching, my conversational maximalism has atrophied.
I’m having dinner with a friend tomorrow and just wondered, “what am I going to talk about?” for the first time in my life.

I cannot wait to make one mildly spicy dish in a month

Bill Maher’s show airing on Friday evenings confirms his audience is a bunch of nerds