oh yeah forgot to say I might also finally get my ears pierced this year

I want to read more books and spend less screen time, already failing this one, I fell back into doomscrolling habits for the past week

I know I get more fulfillment hanging with friends and irl activities than I do here online

long thread but just trying to sort my feelings

i still want to continue growing my hair out, and exploring fashion options

but I also want to explore some hobbies too, I'd like to get back into drawing again, I took a class last year, but didn't pick up the habit after it ended

but really I just want to feel comfortable, pretty, and confident enough in my own skin, that I could seriously try dating again this year, I haven't really tried since I started my transition, in addition to body image issues I also struggle with thoughts of being slut-shamed

so that's been on my mind as the next possibility

it's hard sharing all this bc boobs are so sexualized in society especially augmented ones bc some see them as "fake"

I'm also anxious about surgery in general, complication risks and I don't know who would help with recovery

I plan on starting small, but I still feel a bit embarrassed sharing that I have a lip filler appointment tomorrow, hopefully it goes ok, still feel anxious about it

will it be the gateway to other things like ffs idk yet

but I haven't gotten much breast growth in over a year

it's hard for me to gain weight, which I know sounds like a humblebrag, but fat redistribution has been too slow

also, there's still a stigma about being open about cosmetic procedures while society still judges whether you measure up to them as the beauty standard

bc I know I will spiral if I don't

there's still a lot I don't like about my body, and it can be tough distinguishing dysphoria from external beauty standards

I know I'm privileged being a skinny white girl with stable income, but I still would like some damn curves

they are lying, quit being cowards

Actions have consequences.