i wish i was as into sex as I like to think i am. but everything is overstimulating and i just feel like i'm being tickled. that or my tummy hurts.

drugs help a lot though and put me in the mindset I need to be in, but i wish I could do this sober. maybe i'm just meant to sit in the chair and watch

i feel like i've been bad at being saffi for the past while, starting to forget what it feels like

this struggle is going to be how I reach heaven, i got the mandate after all

it feels like I'm just not allowed to have peace in my own fucking home, almost like she thinks I don't deserve it

do I not work hard enough?

I deserve better