The animals of farthing wood

If something is meant to be sharp, sharpen it

If you can get past the annoying stage where you are absolutely shit at doing something, everyone can reach a stage where they're ok at any one thing. If you can put 10,000 hours into anything you're almost certainly going to be amazing at it.

Some assholes have natural talent and skip this part

Don't punch down

Reading history teaches you what propaganda looks like it. Reading statistics teaches you how people lie with numbers. Reading poetry teaches you how other people can feel things.

All these subjects tend to be strangled by bad people, so read them yourself.

As an ex heroin addict once told me "Don't get into things that are shit, if it takes you a while to notice they're shit you can still get out of them"

On behalf of sysadmins and DBAs everywhere we thank you and anyone else who displays the proper respect and fear towards file names, table names and field names. May every user please be as scared as you are, forever.

Thank you for your service, salutes with a tear in his eye

Didn't you once drive 832 head of prime steers all the way to the moons of Jupiter or was that Dan or Cody ?

I have really clear memories of what a bath should feel like, based on me being, you know, a child. I'm now 6’2 and 21 stone (294lbs / 133kg) and am left mourning the loss of the feeling of true bathtub immersion.

I support OPs proposition

Yeah being a 2m high primate that lives for ~80 years leaves us in a difficult position to contemplate what 9.44 x 10^12m looks like and just how long a million years actually is. We are the wrong dimensions for the dreams we have

Makes facing 10 farmers and one big dog outside of town an epic encounter worthy of a hundred songs

If the new gilded age is going to be worse for those at the bottom than last time, we'd all like some cocaine, laudanum and morphine to take the edge off the day please

I was up at 6:22 this morning and I didn't call my cat a cunt for waking me up

Really tried to write high school math as I know you drop the s, feckin autocorrect

It's weird (or sinister) that secondary school maths (or high school maths depending on where you are) builds towards calculus, geometry, quadratics and differentials for everyone but statistics remains an optional or elite course. Statistics is the maths which lets you spot bullshit in the wild.

And that's the big hook, my life's got a fucking narrative now bitches

Nobody ever says this about ballet.

Both break the bodies of the performers they rely on and then discard them when they can't perform because of their thousands of injuries

Both require the audience to accept the obvious falsehoods to appreciate the performance

Only one expects you to wear a tie

You do, but it may also become a difficult addiction