The Schlocketeer
@schlocketeer.bsky.social
Celebrating cinema from the grindhouse to the arthouse and all that lies between.
As always, Bond shoots to kill.
November 19, 2025 at 1:28 AM
As always, Bond shoots to kill.
This was inevitable.
November 17, 2025 at 1:24 AM
This was inevitable.
Oh, horseshit! He could have done this at almost any point in the last 20 years. All he had to do was give the Weinsteins the thumbs up and they'd have happily re-released it this way. And then put it on disc. And then sold it to cable. Laughing all the way to the bank.
He just didn't want to yet.
He just didn't want to yet.
November 15, 2025 at 12:52 AM
Oh, horseshit! He could have done this at almost any point in the last 20 years. All he had to do was give the Weinsteins the thumbs up and they'd have happily re-released it this way. And then put it on disc. And then sold it to cable. Laughing all the way to the bank.
He just didn't want to yet.
He just didn't want to yet.
Commenter: "Animal sidekicks? Am I watching fucking CINDERELLA!"
Me: *unintelligibly screaming "BEASTMASTER!" as I finally stroke out from rage*
Me: *unintelligibly screaming "BEASTMASTER!" as I finally stroke out from rage*
November 14, 2025 at 10:53 PM
Commenter: "Animal sidekicks? Am I watching fucking CINDERELLA!"
Me: *unintelligibly screaming "BEASTMASTER!" as I finally stroke out from rage*
Me: *unintelligibly screaming "BEASTMASTER!" as I finally stroke out from rage*
Commenter: "He has a laser bow and sword? What is this, STAR WARS?"
Me: "Not nearly enough of you goobers have seen Lucio Fulci's CONQUEST and it shows."
Me: "Not nearly enough of you goobers have seen Lucio Fulci's CONQUEST and it shows."
November 14, 2025 at 10:46 PM
Commenter: "He has a laser bow and sword? What is this, STAR WARS?"
Me: "Not nearly enough of you goobers have seen Lucio Fulci's CONQUEST and it shows."
Me: "Not nearly enough of you goobers have seen Lucio Fulci's CONQUEST and it shows."
Vasaria, the fictional European country from many of the classic Universal Monsters movies.
November 12, 2025 at 3:24 AM
Vasaria, the fictional European country from many of the classic Universal Monsters movies.
PENNY DREADFUL S2 just ticks all of my boxes. It might not be the "best" single season of TV that I love, but it's probably my favorite.
(Also, the Hartnettaissance began here, not with TRAP.)
(Also, the Hartnettaissance began here, not with TRAP.)
November 12, 2025 at 3:17 AM
PENNY DREADFUL S2 just ticks all of my boxes. It might not be the "best" single season of TV that I love, but it's probably my favorite.
(Also, the Hartnettaissance began here, not with TRAP.)
(Also, the Hartnettaissance began here, not with TRAP.)
I love this poster so damn much.
November 10, 2025 at 12:12 AM
I love this poster so damn much.
Welcome to Target.
November 9, 2025 at 11:48 PM
Welcome to Target.
Accurate.
And I love it. Give me all of your darkness!
And I love it. Give me all of your darkness!
November 9, 2025 at 3:38 AM
Accurate.
And I love it. Give me all of your darkness!
And I love it. Give me all of your darkness!
My current ranking of the PREDATOR series.
November 9, 2025 at 3:29 AM
My current ranking of the PREDATOR series.
Like being back in high school.
October 30, 2025 at 8:45 PM
Like being back in high school.
Came across this graphic recently. It's really fun, but I can't help but also be annoyed by the fact that it leaves out the second film (and second best in the series), THE BRIDES OF DRACULA.
Still, bravo to the artist, whomever they may be.
Still, bravo to the artist, whomever they may be.
October 30, 2025 at 10:37 AM
Came across this graphic recently. It's really fun, but I can't help but also be annoyed by the fact that it leaves out the second film (and second best in the series), THE BRIDES OF DRACULA.
Still, bravo to the artist, whomever they may be.
Still, bravo to the artist, whomever they may be.
One Barlow victim!
Two Barlow victim!
Three Barlow victim!
Ah ah ah!
Two Barlow victim!
Three Barlow victim!
Ah ah ah!
October 22, 2025 at 2:05 AM
One Barlow victim!
Two Barlow victim!
Three Barlow victim!
Ah ah ah!
Two Barlow victim!
Three Barlow victim!
Ah ah ah!
The new official set pic from AVENGERS: DOOMSDAY is hysterical. It's just a shot of a greenscreen stage and the focal point is...
...Joe Russo playing on his phone.
Is this perhaps the most honest studio set photo ever?
...Joe Russo playing on his phone.
Is this perhaps the most honest studio set photo ever?
October 1, 2025 at 12:15 AM
The new official set pic from AVENGERS: DOOMSDAY is hysterical. It's just a shot of a greenscreen stage and the focal point is...
...Joe Russo playing on his phone.
Is this perhaps the most honest studio set photo ever?
...Joe Russo playing on his phone.
Is this perhaps the most honest studio set photo ever?
Genuinely hope it happens. Life would be so much nicer and more fun without them around.
September 23, 2025 at 3:03 AM
Genuinely hope it happens. Life would be so much nicer and more fun without them around.
Me waiting for the Rapture to take all of the hatemongers away...
September 23, 2025 at 1:53 AM
Me waiting for the Rapture to take all of the hatemongers away...
