my cat making biscuits on my tummy til she pushes a fart out out of me and looks at me like IM the bad guy.

i just had a dream about david corenswet that’s going to take me 2-3 business days to get over

me: i’m surprised my boyfriend sent me treats today. i thought he was mad at me.
my coworker: why?
me: he called me a dickhead last night.
coworker: why?
me: i was being a dickhead.

and here’s my take-if you can’t think of ONE nice thing to say about taylor swift. i think you are objectively and idiot.

dating a vet tech is cool and all with the discounts, constant animal pictures, free nail trims, etc. but then they’re asking you to take pictures of your dog’s shit when she has an upset tummy.

I LOVE BUYING EMBROIDERY FROM ANTIQUE STORES!!! SOMEONE PUT SO MUCH TIME AND CARE INTO THIS! I LOVE IT!

couples that watch smosh together stay together

listen IM SORRY i went on a 20 minute tangent to all of my coworkers. it’s not MY FAULT someone asked a vague question pertaining to a 2010s emo band’s lore.

being at animal kingdom rn would heal me

really into wearing men’s shoes now. new era.

my letterboxd friends activity is about to be full of anora. (i never saw it either)

the other day my boyfriend came up to me all grateful that i got him new socks and a shirt.
babe, you got those from christmas from your mom i just dug it out of your boy pile.

I’m sad.