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shrimp.fail
shrimp
@shrimp.fail
110 followers 260 following 190 posts
you tellin me i fried this rice?

he/him
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shrimp.fail
A meme from The Simpsons. Lisa looks at a display case titled “The Ham Net from Hamnet” with a picture of a ham wrapped in netting
December 5, 2025 at 1:51 PM
shrimp.fail
finally get to experience The Wizard of Oz as Victor Fleming intended
A screenshot from Halo
August 2, 2025 at 12:28 AM
shrimp.fail
NO ONE FUCKIN KNOWS MY NAME OH FUCK IM GONNA CREAM MY PANTS IF I EVEN GET ONE PERCENT OF THE VOTE FUCKKKKK
A freeze frame of the quoted video of Jim Walden sky-diving with his mouth open like he is screaming
July 19, 2025 at 3:57 AM
shrimp.fail
incredible logo design happening over on x dot com
An advertisement for a keyboard called “Magger68” written in a script font that makes it look like the N-word
April 24, 2025 at 4:42 AM
shrimp.fail
matty yglesias replying to his own post
Bo Burnham with a sock on his hand. From a song from his Netflix special Inside.
April 15, 2025 at 5:25 AM
shrimp.fail
A screenshot from the movie Zoolander where the character Derek Zoolander is a merman. Underneath is a caption that reads “Ingredients is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty”
April 15, 2025 at 2:50 AM
shrimp.fail
this week’s severance episode gets two thumbs up!!!!
The character Devon from the TV series Severance holds up her two hands in fists with the thumb extended as she cries
February 28, 2025 at 4:47 AM
shrimp.fail
this week on severence mark sees a phish show
A screenshot from the TV series Severance of the character Mark with the subtitles “everything was, like, so white”
February 22, 2025 at 3:13 AM
shrimp.fail
that’s funny cause “ex money” is the technical term for twitter’s valuation
A tweet from The Spectator Index that reads: “JUST IN: X CEO says that payment system 'X Money' will launch in 2025”
December 31, 2024 at 10:09 PM
shrimp.fail
“supports throat health” yeah that’s what they all say
A shelf of boxes of tea bags. The one in the middle is “Organic Throat Coat”
December 31, 2024 at 7:45 PM
shrimp.fail
A Tale of Two Cities

❌ It was the best of times, it was the worst of times

✅ It was times
An advert for a company called Magibook. The headline reads "Turn HARD books into EASY books with Magibook! Maximize your reading potential and avoid difficult language today." Underneath is two covers of The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald. Above the first cover is the original version of the opening sentence (captioned "Turn Hard Books"), which reads "In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I've been turning over in my mind ever since." Above the second cover (captioned "into Easy Books") is a simplified version, which reads "When I was young, my dad told me something that I still think about."
December 24, 2024 at 7:47 PM
shrimp.fail
my favorite part of the woman body? haha…. well, id have to say the
A photo of a box of candy bars called “Knoppers”
December 21, 2024 at 5:24 PM
shrimp.fail
luigi doesn’t need a gun anymore he can just do this
A screenshot from the movie Zoolander of the titular character making his “Blue Steel” look
December 12, 2024 at 4:58 AM
shrimp.fail
Top frame: Marge Simpson sits alone in a room. The caption reads “At times like this, I guess all you can do is be thankful” Bottom frame: Marge sits alone staring into the middle distance. No caption
November 29, 2024 at 12:59 AM
shrimp.fail
An image of Zapp Brannigan from the TV show Futurama. He is logging in a robe with a glass of champagne with a crudely drawn speech bubble at the bottom, as if he is speaking the quoted post
November 21, 2024 at 10:31 PM
shrimp.fail
people who call themselves "twitter refugees" sound like this
A screenshot of the TV show Community. Britta is sitting at the top of bleachers in a beret. The subtitles read "in the breat purge of about two minutes ago"
November 19, 2024 at 7:23 PM
shrimp.fail
blessed by a bodega cat this morning
A black and white cat curled up with its feet at its head in a red cat bed
November 19, 2024 at 3:00 PM
shrimp.fail
bad news about what book it’s based on and who wrote it
A screenshot of an article that reads: films. Additionally, this HBO show is not based on anything Frank Herbert himself has written; rather, it is adapted from his son Brian Herbert's prequel novel Sisterhood of Dune. If this is the first you've ever heard about this book, well... it's because it's not particularly good.
November 18, 2024 at 1:46 PM
shrimp.fail
yeah i use an echo chamber every day
November 17, 2024 at 1:49 PM
shrimp.fail
is he johnny depp?
November 17, 2024 at 1:23 AM