I want to elaborate on this a little:

For both kids AND adults, sometimes one of the hardest things to do in a big crisis is figure out where and how to help.

And often, the best answer to that isn't "reinvent the wheel," it's "find existing efforts and join in."

Vaccinated for rabies. The only way to test for rabies requires examining brain tissue.

It’s a takeoff of a Tumblr classic.

“You can trust me, I know a trans person who died by suicide”? Sick behavior, and laser-targeted at gaining trust from a person at the center of a crisis involving vulnerable trans people. Tifa knows what she’s doing, and it’s not your fault *at all* that she has training and experience to misuse.

Tifa’s DMs are like a mini lesson in manipulation—demand sympathy, let you in on ~private info~ to gain closeness, “I am a safe space” to guilt you if you don’t give complete trust, oversharing about an unrelated suicide… genuinely amazing how someone could manipulate that much in so few messages.

Considering you were dealing with someone who has relevant professional training and so knows how to weaponize that to apply pressure and demand trust? I think you did well at minimizing what you gave out and cutting it off when you did.

Which Tifa then weaponizes — essentially, “look how trustworthy I am! If you don’t trust me, there’s something wrong with YOU. Why are you so suspicious of a good person like me?” And then the extreme oversharing to rub it in. “I’ve been through all this and you still don’t trust me?”

So my stomach sank when I saw “I know who I am and that is a good and kind person who cares deeply.” Too attached to believing that you’re good == believe anything you do is good. It means they no longer believe they can do bad or unkind things. That’s dangerous.

Yeah. Declaring yourself safe and trustworthy is usually a bad sign because it means the person believes they won’t harm others and so will justify anything they do as Not Harmful. The only way to prove one is a safe space is by demonstrating it, which takes time. There’s no shortcuts.

“I am a good and kind person who cares deeply” and “I am a safe safe safe space” are the biggest, brightest red flags imaginable that someone absolutely is not. I’m sorry this nightmare has been going on and on for you.

JK Rowling (author of the Harry Potter books) has sworn her massive financial power to driving trans people out of public life.