I'm glad this exists. I'd never have been introduced to the phrase "limp Korn stones" if it didn't.

When I worked at Guitar Center we made sure to play "Santa's Got a Mullet" by Nerf Herder multiple times a day to keep all the 15 to 55 year old children shopping for themselves in the holiday spirit.

Personally, even as a non superstitious person, I wouldn't want to test the fates of irony by putting an image of myself on a death machine that gloats about me currently being alive.

Me, with dumb guy voice: "Why don't they just fill the bottles with only the third ibuprofens?"

I was never able to get used to the Steam Controller as a daily driver but I loved that the haptics when using the mouse pad made it feel like you're holding a purring kitten.

Out with the old Metacritic. Its time for a new truly meta critic.

It would be pretty fun though if an outlet gave Indika a numerical score that just kept increasing indefinitely since it's initial publication.

So, did you still make that 4AM today?

One time they handed me the panic button and the cable kinda draped across my neck in a way that made it ever so slightly choke me when they stuck me in the tube but I didn't complain and we finished the scan quickly, so I think entitled to at least some sort of ambassadorship.

Even thirty years older now, I would still skip the Eugene "stretchy guy that crawls though your hvac to get to you and eat your liver" Tooms episodes before bed. He could be in my ducts right now!

Thank you for taking the early shift. I'm glad someone I trust is up keeping an eye on things while I slumber.

Thank you for being a bit more respectful, Gmail.

Makes sense. If you had looked at your phone you'd have seen the time and known to go back to sleep.