Willow Ptarmigan
@sirelepants.bsky.social
Baby ewes. Never shorn.
January 5, 2026 at 8:30 AM
Baby ewes. Never shorn.
It's wild that there are people out there that will read something in Times New Roman and not feel like they're taking a vision test that has not yet nailed down the prescription. Whats it like to have eyeballs like that? What is an astigmatism free life like? What does the world really look like?
Marco Rubio ordered diplomats to return to using Times New Roman font in official communications, calling his predecessor's decision to adopt Calibri a “wasteful” diversity move
Rubio Stages Font Coup: Times New Roman Ousts Calibri
The secretary of state called it a "wasteful" diversity move, according to an internal department cable seen by Reuters.
www.huffpost.com
December 12, 2025 at 7:20 PM
It's wild that there are people out there that will read something in Times New Roman and not feel like they're taking a vision test that has not yet nailed down the prescription. Whats it like to have eyeballs like that? What is an astigmatism free life like? What does the world really look like?
Me, annoyed with my nerve and joint issues in my hip and low spine causing painful radiculopathy: Make My American Ass Heathy Again
December 8, 2025 at 10:17 PM
Me, annoyed with my nerve and joint issues in my hip and low spine causing painful radiculopathy: Make My American Ass Heathy Again
The president is a liar or cognitively impaired. No one doesn't know what or why they're getting MRI'd (for) if they are of sound mind. I've had dozens of MRI's . Evrytime I've been given explicit instructions not to move the part of the body in question.
Trump: I had an MRI and the result was outstanding.
Reporter: Was it your brain?
Trump: I have no idea what they analyzed, but whatever they analyzed, they analyzed it well.
Reporter: Was it your brain?
Trump: I have no idea what they analyzed, but whatever they analyzed, they analyzed it well.
November 15, 2025 at 10:23 PM
The president is a liar or cognitively impaired. No one doesn't know what or why they're getting MRI'd (for) if they are of sound mind. I've had dozens of MRI's . Evrytime I've been given explicit instructions not to move the part of the body in question.
Pro tip: If you find that 1 or 2 ibuprofen are useless then let me let introduce you to the secret third ibuprofen where the magic lies.
JD Vance calls ibuprofen "useless medication" and implies it's not "necessary, safe and effective."
November 13, 2025 at 7:23 PM
Pro tip: If you find that 1 or 2 ibuprofen are useless then let me let introduce you to the secret third ibuprofen where the magic lies.
A Steely Dan parody band called Irony Dan
November 7, 2025 at 10:31 PM
A Steely Dan parody band called Irony Dan
In my experience as a Californian the neighbors will learn some English, their children will become fluent, and they might offer you some pupusas and a Modelo when they're having a shindig. It's very not scary.
Vance says it is "totally reasonable and acceptable" for people to not want to live next door to people who speak a different language than they do
October 29, 2025 at 5:36 PM
In my experience as a Californian the neighbors will learn some English, their children will become fluent, and they might offer you some pupusas and a Modelo when they're having a shindig. It's very not scary.
I have also sat in a small plane while another guy flew it. Sure, I didn't have to worry about g forces in a twin turbo prop but flying at 30k ft for hours at a time collecting aerial imagery without my own oxygen made me so sleepy.
October 22, 2025 at 3:36 PM
I have also sat in a small plane while another guy flew it. Sure, I didn't have to worry about g forces in a twin turbo prop but flying at 30k ft for hours at a time collecting aerial imagery without my own oxygen made me so sleepy.
Kodos astroturfs a No Kangs protest.
October 21, 2025 at 5:25 PM
Kodos astroturfs a No Kangs protest.
Maybe the ouroboros just has an itchy tail yet no hands with which to scratch?
October 20, 2025 at 10:28 PM
Maybe the ouroboros just has an itchy tail yet no hands with which to scratch?
Airforce Number 2, as it were.
October 20, 2025 at 10:10 PM
Airforce Number 2, as it were.
Sure, you could ask Sora to make you "passion of the Christ but its Pikachu" and maybe it'll return something fun but there's only a sliver of a chance that it will be better than if you just imagine the concept of the filename "passionofchrisbut pikachu_engsub[ARA][JP][480p]_real.divx".
October 6, 2025 at 6:43 PM
Sure, you could ask Sora to make you "passion of the Christ but its Pikachu" and maybe it'll return something fun but there's only a sliver of a chance that it will be better than if you just imagine the concept of the filename "passionofchrisbut pikachu_engsub[ARA][JP][480p]_real.divx".
Someone should invent Nightime Water; water that is water in your mouth and throat and belly but just disappears after that. No need to get up to get it out of you in a couple hours.
September 28, 2025 at 6:21 AM
Someone should invent Nightime Water; water that is water in your mouth and throat and belly but just disappears after that. No need to get up to get it out of you in a couple hours.
This is my motto too but its mostly just about taking the 5 and only resorting to 99 if necessary.
September 25, 2025 at 7:06 PM
This is my motto too but its mostly just about taking the 5 and only resorting to 99 if necessary.
The Rapture can actually happen everyday if you manage your play lists correctly.
Blondie - Rapture (Official Music Video)
YouTube video by BlondieVEVO
youtu.be
September 23, 2025 at 8:42 PM
The Rapture can actually happen everyday if you manage your play lists correctly.
You know, fight the good fight and all but I just wasn't raised to care about what Jimmy Kimmel does after 10 AM or the turn of the century. That man lives in the radio on my way to middle or high school. That is canon Jimmy. You can't make me care about the reboot.
September 23, 2025 at 8:23 PM
You know, fight the good fight and all but I just wasn't raised to care about what Jimmy Kimmel does after 10 AM or the turn of the century. That man lives in the radio on my way to middle or high school. That is canon Jimmy. You can't make me care about the reboot.
If OXO Good Grips knows what's good for them they'll release a gaming controller to address the needs of the first generations of "gamers" as they enter their arthritic middle ages and beyond.
September 19, 2025 at 3:48 PM
If OXO Good Grips knows what's good for them they'll release a gaming controller to address the needs of the first generations of "gamers" as they enter their arthritic middle ages and beyond.
More and more these days I'm thinking that similar to how bartenders are legally required to not overserve alcohol Costco should be required to limit the amount of cashews I'm allowed to buy.
September 14, 2025 at 12:17 AM
More and more these days I'm thinking that similar to how bartenders are legally required to not overserve alcohol Costco should be required to limit the amount of cashews I'm allowed to buy.
"Chip-ocalypse now," I whisper to myself as I tear open the bag of Backyard Barberque Kettle Chips from Costco I will inhale alone inside my apartment that shields me like the napkin of an Ortolan eater.
September 10, 2025 at 3:48 PM
"Chip-ocalypse now," I whisper to myself as I tear open the bag of Backyard Barberque Kettle Chips from Costco I will inhale alone inside my apartment that shields me like the napkin of an Ortolan eater.
Alien Earth might be a good prequel to the franchise but we really need an earlier prequel. No aliens mucking stuff up. No robots being weirdos. Just those glorious retro futuristic years of buckling spring keyboards, chonky knobs and levers, and weird puffy white walls. No shenanigans at all.
August 17, 2025 at 3:25 AM
Alien Earth might be a good prequel to the franchise but we really need an earlier prequel. No aliens mucking stuff up. No robots being weirdos. Just those glorious retro futuristic years of buckling spring keyboards, chonky knobs and levers, and weird puffy white walls. No shenanigans at all.
Double Flat Seven Mary Minor Three
Slightly diminish a band: Pewter Zepplin
Slightly diminish a band: The Seasoning Girls
August 13, 2025 at 3:48 AM
Double Flat Seven Mary Minor Three
The youths are not allowed to act like children at L'Enfant Plaza?!?! Do words mean nothing now?!?!
bragging about being a giant pussy is integral to the conservative mindset
August 12, 2025 at 5:02 PM
The youths are not allowed to act like children at L'Enfant Plaza?!?! Do words mean nothing now?!?!
It seems wrong that my brain is only 75% certain that "field" is the correct way to spell the word but if I type or read "feild" it's 100% certain of the wrongness.
August 6, 2025 at 9:44 PM
It seems wrong that my brain is only 75% certain that "field" is the correct way to spell the word but if I type or read "feild" it's 100% certain of the wrongness.
Sorry everyone. This is all my fault. I could've stopped everything gong on right now if I had just called the cops on the butter vendor that pushed that sample of lemon butter in my mouth in 2007 at the Santa Monica Farmer's Market even though I despise dessert lemon. My bad.
Timeline cleanse: Insta video of Allen Dershowitz being told by Martha's Vineyard police to stop harassing vendors or be charged with trespassing after three different sellers refused him service. 1/3
www.instagram.com/reel/DMvVG1S...
www.instagram.com/reel/DMvVG1S...
August 3, 2025 at 4:36 AM
Sorry everyone. This is all my fault. I could've stopped everything gong on right now if I had just called the cops on the butter vendor that pushed that sample of lemon butter in my mouth in 2007 at the Santa Monica Farmer's Market even though I despise dessert lemon. My bad.
They sure don't make the song "How Bizarre" by OMC like they used to nowadays.
July 21, 2025 at 11:47 PM
They sure don't make the song "How Bizarre" by OMC like they used to nowadays.