skenisahen
skenisahen.bsky.social
skenisahen
@skenisahen.bsky.social
A man of many pants
I had someone else’s dream last night. I don’t know if we learned anything about pigs and that fireplace with flowers growing in it was wild. Fire safety first! #deams
August 6, 2025 at 1:26 PM
Saw a sign on the side of the road: “Join our solid waste team!” I thought, “Finally. A team I can plop right into.”
May 31, 2025 at 6:49 PM
Here’s a little something my friends who share videos of themselves playing guitar inspired me to make up. Now with surprise ending!
May 28, 2025 at 2:28 PM
Adding this to the list of pseudonyms I’ll consider: Pudge Winkle
May 27, 2025 at 8:07 PM
PNW Late Spring: “Hey, how would you feel about another month of turd weather?”
May 14, 2025 at 4:27 PM
Ready for my Andy Kaufman impersonation!
May 3, 2025 at 7:09 PM
Let me get this straight: humans invented barbecue sauce and then not only kept making new sauces but also didn’t abandon their old sauces? We’re a puzzling species.
April 12, 2025 at 6:46 PM
Skit idea: Pastor of Muppets
March 16, 2025 at 8:23 PM
I was never going to buy a Tesla anyway, but now I’m not going to buy one so hard
March 12, 2025 at 12:51 AM
Colleague, in jest, “It’s that mercury in the vaccines making the mice gay!”
March 8, 2025 at 12:06 AM
I ain’t watching that nonsense tonight. I don’t need to watch to know their platform is “be dicks about it”
March 5, 2025 at 1:22 AM
The five things I sent to [email protected]

1. I thought about pants
2. I had two very weird dreams
3. I considered the existence of broccoli
4. I read things
5. I sang songs about those bereft of the proclivity for wise choices
February 27, 2025 at 1:34 AM
Reposted by skenisahen
Report: Morbid Curiosity Now Accounts For 79% Of Nation’s Snack Food Purchases
theonion.com/report-...
Report: Morbid Curiosity Now Accounts For 79% Of Nation’s Snack Food Purchases
ST. PAUL, MN—Identifying a clear preference for novelty above all other qualities, a report from the University of Minnesota released Friday found that morbid curiosity now accounts for 79 percent of the nation’s snack food purchases. “Whether they’re trying to figure out if a jelly bean really tastes like popcorn or what the deal is with those puffy shrimp chips that apparently are really popular in Asia, we’ve concluded that consumers buy snacks three-quarters of the time purely from an intense desire to determine whether a product corresponds with its purported flavor,” said the report’s author, Carol Souza, adding that almost 20 percent of those purchases alone were prompted by a keen interest in how biscuits-and-gravy was reduced to a potato chip coating. “Many people didn’t even seem to care whether or not the wasabi chocolate or seven-layer-dip Combos were good, only that they tasted anything at all like what they expected. Once they actually tried the products, they generally had no incentive whatsoever to purchase them a second time.” Souza went on to say that an additional 10 percent of snack foods were purchased purely to ascertain whether they tasted the same as they did when you were a kid.
theonion.com
February 23, 2025 at 8:00 PM
Dream excerpt: I’m in a crowded elevator. Guy to my left on crutches says to woman on my right, “Are you using Preparation H? Your feet look amazing!” I look down and I’m not wearing shoes.
February 23, 2025 at 3:07 PM
February 20, 2025 at 4:44 AM
Meanwhile
February 17, 2025 at 3:37 AM
New blues record concept/title: “My Gnocchi Don’t Float”
February 11, 2025 at 2:24 AM
I don’t know how yet, but I’m gonna DEI so hard from now on.
February 1, 2025 at 3:55 AM
Home Alone. But it’s just me. At home. Alone. With cookies.
January 29, 2025 at 12:57 AM
Forget your goals and you can achieve anything
January 25, 2025 at 4:01 AM