if you catch me sending kissing faces and kicking my feet while texting, confiscate my phone for a minimum of 72 hours

i have a game changing business idea

okay so it’s like Shein but instead of abusing human labor and using the worst quality fabrics known to man, we use good fabric and pay people livable wage, and the clothes are more expensive but last way longer

im calling it slow fashion, this is a novel idea

we don’t talk enough about wasteful spending by the government from paying women not to respond to me on hinge

errrm, need my ghost roommate to sign the sublease. trying to use a ouija board but my ghost lawyer says beings on the ethereal plane cannot consent to a contract :/

blahaj blast

i think raccoons would be really into gambling with dice. craps, sic bo, the likes

will i get in trouble if i don’t wash my rice before cooking it? :(

one must imagine sisyphus as on the brink

Election 2025 — Day 3: Seattle’s later-voter break hits for Wilson but gap with Harrell barely narrows www.capitolhillseattle.com/2025/11/elec...

“not beating the puppygirl allegations”
“are u a top or a bottom”
“what’re ur kinks?”

dawg I just wanna wake up next to someone on a rainy morning, make them breakfast, fill up the kettle with enough water for two, and curl on the couch together reading books about diametrically different topics

im bringing xoxo back and no one can stop me!!!

sir, i thought you should know. your son shows all the signs of being a classic library lesbian, transsexual variety. a stereotype we’re all familiar with, needless to say.

yes, there she is, she’s curled up in the story pit reading mrs frisby and the rats of nimh for the seventh time.

I made this piece for @jacobgeller.com 's new book 'You're not Overthinking It'. This image is for his essay 'Designed for Violence'
You can order it here: www.lostincult.co.uk/overthinking

A year ago, I heard that Oklahoma City had approved a plan to build Legends Tower, the tallest skyscraper in the entire Western hemisphere. Why were we building the Tower of Babel in the Heartland? I decided to investigate. This essay is the result. (gift link) thepickup.com/whats-so-wro...

the sexual tension between me and a pint of ben & jerry’s americone dream

had a dream last night that they opened a taco bell in cap hill … i yearn for the bell