nic cage is an icon and a goth legend

me when brainfeverfalfa was *ONTO something*.

i hate that wily fevered motherfucker!!! lmaooo

tell me your secrets !!! im tired of relearning lessons and missing time and YEARS of my life!!!!!!

key colors in "recovery" being green and orange ,,,, hmmmmmmmmm,,,,,,, LOL

i used to be all folk punk and indie and noise💔🥀damn life really schmacked me , huh

i used to write laws and now,,, no one understands me when i speak. and fewer even open their ears and hearts to try to listen. maybe it was always like that, but never to this scale. it feels like i went from wading in the pool to dropper off in the deep ocean. and im drowning.

i used to joke that i felt like i was trapped in the phantom zone. banging on the glass/mirror, floating in space, screaming and banging against the pane,, but no noise comes out. it doesnt feel like a funny joke anymore. im done laughing. i havent felt like laughing in so long.

i spend all my energy trying to communicate and be known and seen. yet people truly seem to feel like they should be able to speak over my voice and FOR me. it is sickening and heartbreaking and has happened time and time again.

im so frustrated to be so repeatedly alienated and objectified by the people i love and hold close. i deserve better than people who use me and project this sick role onto me. manic pixie dreamgirl coded til it kills me i guess. bummer for me. cant even hormonally transition away from that curse.

proof of life

someone will probably buy the frame for a couple bucks 🤑🤑 already sold one bed frame this month, might as well make it two

tbh im gonna do it LOL time to play room jenga, my adhd's favorite maladaptive coping mechanism !!! oh joy!!