Sandy
@sr-bruce.bsky.social
I read books; I go for (moderately) long walks; I potter around the house and garden; I bake; I use semicolons. (They/them)
I was never young and beautiful. When I was young, I was not beautiful – and I believed no one should be with me because they should be with someone beautiful (and no one tried to prove me wrong).
When I was beautiful, I was not young. And I believed I shouldn't be with anyone because
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When I was beautiful, I was not young. And I believed I shouldn't be with anyone because
1/3
December 30, 2025 at 4:26 AM
I was never young and beautiful. When I was young, I was not beautiful – and I believed no one should be with me because they should be with someone beautiful (and no one tried to prove me wrong).
When I was beautiful, I was not young. And I believed I shouldn't be with anyone because
1/3
When I was beautiful, I was not young. And I believed I shouldn't be with anyone because
1/3
Then there are the days when I'm self aware enough to know nothing is ever going to happen, but I crave the possibility that it might. That's what's keeping me locked into this crush – the chance that I'll open the box one day to find the cat is alive can only exist for as long as the box is shut
December 28, 2025 at 1:07 PM
Then there are the days when I'm self aware enough to know nothing is ever going to happen, but I crave the possibility that it might. That's what's keeping me locked into this crush – the chance that I'll open the box one day to find the cat is alive can only exist for as long as the box is shut
Such a strange
Hollow sensation
To want what you don't want
And shouldn't—
Couldn't—
Wouldn't have.
If I only had a heart—
A brain—
Some courage
I'd be a different person
And maybe they'd deserve
Whatever fills this void.
What fills this void?
Hollow sensation
To want what you don't want
And shouldn't—
Couldn't—
Wouldn't have.
If I only had a heart—
A brain—
Some courage
I'd be a different person
And maybe they'd deserve
Whatever fills this void.
What fills this void?
December 26, 2025 at 2:26 PM
Such a strange
Hollow sensation
To want what you don't want
And shouldn't—
Couldn't—
Wouldn't have.
If I only had a heart—
A brain—
Some courage
I'd be a different person
And maybe they'd deserve
Whatever fills this void.
What fills this void?
Hollow sensation
To want what you don't want
And shouldn't—
Couldn't—
Wouldn't have.
If I only had a heart—
A brain—
Some courage
I'd be a different person
And maybe they'd deserve
Whatever fills this void.
What fills this void?
Sometimes I wish I had someone to share my life with in a "domestic partnership" kind of fashion. But then I remember that I am deeply weird.* And that I like the freedom to be completely and utterly bonkers without witnesses or having to explain myself to anyone. I like my space/life to myself.
December 26, 2025 at 11:29 AM
Sometimes I wish I had someone to share my life with in a "domestic partnership" kind of fashion. But then I remember that I am deeply weird.* And that I like the freedom to be completely and utterly bonkers without witnesses or having to explain myself to anyone. I like my space/life to myself.
I sometimes wonder if my friends and colleagues know about the stupid crush I have on her. If she knows. As much as I've decided to never acknowledge it outside of this particular void, sometimes I'm sure it's plastered all over my face. Someone caught me smiling like an idiot after talking to her
December 24, 2025 at 2:31 PM
I sometimes wonder if my friends and colleagues know about the stupid crush I have on her. If she knows. As much as I've decided to never acknowledge it outside of this particular void, sometimes I'm sure it's plastered all over my face. Someone caught me smiling like an idiot after talking to her
One day, she will no longer make me feel nervous around her, and I will no longer oscillate between blithering git and blustering fool in a futile attempt to gain my footing.
I don't know if I'm looking forward to that day or not.
Something will be gained, and something lost.
I don't know if I'm looking forward to that day or not.
Something will be gained, and something lost.
December 15, 2025 at 2:35 PM
One day, she will no longer make me feel nervous around her, and I will no longer oscillate between blithering git and blustering fool in a futile attempt to gain my footing.
I don't know if I'm looking forward to that day or not.
Something will be gained, and something lost.
I don't know if I'm looking forward to that day or not.
Something will be gained, and something lost.
I'd like to believe this is true – and it is... if you give up technology. As long as there is no meaningful "no AI" option on the electric media you consume, you'll get what you're given. And, increasingly, you won't know what you're getting.
The turn to slop is something we actually have a lot of power over. We choose what art we engage with and whose art we engage with. We have the ability to choose films based on original ideas, to read books instead of just doom scroll, to talk about poetry instead of just Vanderpump.
December 13, 2025 at 12:32 PM
I'd like to believe this is true – and it is... if you give up technology. As long as there is no meaningful "no AI" option on the electric media you consume, you'll get what you're given. And, increasingly, you won't know what you're getting.
Just between you and me, I'm not ready for next year. The very thought of doing "start of year" things and beginning a whole new year fills me with an existential dread. The knowledge that we're going into next year in a worse position than this year excoriates me.
December 8, 2025 at 1:34 PM
Just between you and me, I'm not ready for next year. The very thought of doing "start of year" things and beginning a whole new year fills me with an existential dread. The knowledge that we're going into next year in a worse position than this year excoriates me.
The trouble is, on one level I know my colleagues need me to step up and fill the role of lynchpin for our department – the person who knows what the moving pieces are and takes care of making sure everyone knows what they're doing. I'm a logical choice for it and no one else is doing it. 👇
November 22, 2025 at 11:10 PM
The trouble is, on one level I know my colleagues need me to step up and fill the role of lynchpin for our department – the person who knows what the moving pieces are and takes care of making sure everyone knows what they're doing. I'm a logical choice for it and no one else is doing it. 👇
I sometimes wonder how many lives are "saved" through laziness. Like, no, I didn't "choose to stay" in spite of the soul crushing nihilism and existential indifference. I just didn't change anything. It wasn't a choice, it was a lack of action.
November 16, 2025 at 5:23 AM
I sometimes wonder how many lives are "saved" through laziness. Like, no, I didn't "choose to stay" in spite of the soul crushing nihilism and existential indifference. I just didn't change anything. It wasn't a choice, it was a lack of action.
Just watched a reel on limerence. And I don't know if I needed that reminder, or if it was just jabbing at a wound.
On one level, I know what I feel for my crush is limerence. I've known for years, and I'm waiting patiently for it to pass.
👇
On one level, I know what I feel for my crush is limerence. I've known for years, and I'm waiting patiently for it to pass.
👇
November 2, 2025 at 12:51 PM
Just watched a reel on limerence. And I don't know if I needed that reminder, or if it was just jabbing at a wound.
On one level, I know what I feel for my crush is limerence. I've known for years, and I'm waiting patiently for it to pass.
👇
On one level, I know what I feel for my crush is limerence. I've known for years, and I'm waiting patiently for it to pass.
👇
It's not that I particularly *want* to go to the Halloween Party – while it is legendarily epic, I feel uncomfortable at parties and only go out of respect for the host. And it's not like I *can* go to the party – it's always on at the same time as a family commitment. It's just that 👇
November 2, 2025 at 9:25 AM
It's not that I particularly *want* to go to the Halloween Party – while it is legendarily epic, I feel uncomfortable at parties and only go out of respect for the host. And it's not like I *can* go to the party – it's always on at the same time as a family commitment. It's just that 👇
Some pictures from walks over the past few days:
October 2, 2025 at 9:48 PM
Some pictures from walks over the past few days:
In other spaces I go by she/her because a) I'm used to it and b) everything else feels like I failed to make it obvious. Here I set my pronouns to they/them just to get more comfortable with them. But I'm gender fluid and both "a woman" and "grey agender" depending on which way the wind is blowing
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September 12, 2025 at 1:20 PM
In other spaces I go by she/her because a) I'm used to it and b) everything else feels like I failed to make it obvious. Here I set my pronouns to they/them just to get more comfortable with them. But I'm gender fluid and both "a woman" and "grey agender" depending on which way the wind is blowing
🧵
🧵
As per usual, I vacillate between yearning for what I wish I could have and giving myself a stern talking to, as I know why I don't have it, and for those reasons I doubt I ever will.
Oh, but I do betray myself...
One day the Tinman will accept the tin
Oh, but I do betray myself...
One day the Tinman will accept the tin
August 9, 2025 at 2:05 PM
As per usual, I vacillate between yearning for what I wish I could have and giving myself a stern talking to, as I know why I don't have it, and for those reasons I doubt I ever will.
Oh, but I do betray myself...
One day the Tinman will accept the tin
Oh, but I do betray myself...
One day the Tinman will accept the tin
Did I just put my phone on to charge for an hour while reading a book, and then realise I had neglected to turn the power on?
Yes, yes I did.
Yes, yes I did.
August 6, 2025 at 12:34 PM
Did I just put my phone on to charge for an hour while reading a book, and then realise I had neglected to turn the power on?
Yes, yes I did.
Yes, yes I did.
Man, I want to go to the Yorkshire Dales. Meanwhile, I haven't successfully made it to the hills behind my neighbourhood for quite some time...
August 4, 2025 at 1:44 AM
Man, I want to go to the Yorkshire Dales. Meanwhile, I haven't successfully made it to the hills behind my neighbourhood for quite some time...
Every now and then I get ideas above my station. I forget I'm only a close approximation of a human being, and I have nothing to offer someone real.
You deserve better. I'm sorry I can't be that for you. But this limerence is the closest I can give you, and I can't quite let it go...
You deserve better. I'm sorry I can't be that for you. But this limerence is the closest I can give you, and I can't quite let it go...
August 2, 2025 at 7:08 AM
Every now and then I get ideas above my station. I forget I'm only a close approximation of a human being, and I have nothing to offer someone real.
You deserve better. I'm sorry I can't be that for you. But this limerence is the closest I can give you, and I can't quite let it go...
You deserve better. I'm sorry I can't be that for you. But this limerence is the closest I can give you, and I can't quite let it go...
A walk in a garden. Found this bi-coloured beauty
July 27, 2025 at 8:15 AM
A walk in a garden. Found this bi-coloured beauty
I can barely hear her over the noise of the party, so I lean in close and focus on her lips. I spend half the night like this, invading her space and watching her face – just to hear her better.
It doesn't occur to me until days later that my body language could have been interpreted another way...
It doesn't occur to me until days later that my body language could have been interpreted another way...
July 10, 2025 at 3:32 PM
I can barely hear her over the noise of the party, so I lean in close and focus on her lips. I spend half the night like this, invading her space and watching her face – just to hear her better.
It doesn't occur to me until days later that my body language could have been interpreted another way...
It doesn't occur to me until days later that my body language could have been interpreted another way...
My brain is currently not braining. It's misinterpreting inputs and being very sloppy with the outputs. A "best to avoid operating heavy machinery" kind of situation.
June 24, 2025 at 11:54 AM
My brain is currently not braining. It's misinterpreting inputs and being very sloppy with the outputs. A "best to avoid operating heavy machinery" kind of situation.
I just worked out that the narrator of the audiobook I've been listening to (not the woman who sounds like AI – a different book) has been reading with Standard American English pronunciation, but a Black American English cadence. It's been giving a very interesting effect to the narration
June 23, 2025 at 12:48 PM
I just worked out that the narrator of the audiobook I've been listening to (not the woman who sounds like AI – a different book) has been reading with Standard American English pronunciation, but a Black American English cadence. It's been giving a very interesting effect to the narration
The book I'm reading has just had the 1st person FMC narrator describe another female character in such a way it's impossible to tell if she regards the girl as a "best friend closer than a sister" or the love of her life. Since we've already met the MMC and he's a tosser who "smells good"...
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June 21, 2025 at 5:41 AM
The book I'm reading has just had the 1st person FMC narrator describe another female character in such a way it's impossible to tell if she regards the girl as a "best friend closer than a sister" or the love of her life. Since we've already met the MMC and he's a tosser who "smells good"...
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I just discovered someone made an electric autoharp. I don't know how I feel about that, but I'm leaning towards "fascinated".
I used to listen to an internet radio station dedicated to autoharps and discovered some good bands there. I find the instrument by tuns appealing and annoying.
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I used to listen to an internet radio station dedicated to autoharps and discovered some good bands there. I find the instrument by tuns appealing and annoying.
1/🧵
June 20, 2025 at 2:43 PM
I just discovered someone made an electric autoharp. I don't know how I feel about that, but I'm leaning towards "fascinated".
I used to listen to an internet radio station dedicated to autoharps and discovered some good bands there. I find the instrument by tuns appealing and annoying.
1/🧵
I used to listen to an internet radio station dedicated to autoharps and discovered some good bands there. I find the instrument by tuns appealing and annoying.
1/🧵