I always think about ordering a really fru fru umbrella drink for loudmouth pretend tough guys just to put them in their place. If a cocktail could mock someone, that would be how.

Same here. (I don't have a job.)

Sorry, I just like a little breeze.

That's what I was hoping.

I have a Hugo Boss overcoat and a couple Bernini suits. Does that make me a bad person?

The MD stands for Massive Dipshit.

Me trying to appreciate poetry.

Since my daughter was tiny I have given her little bags of cheez-its and told her it was her own, personal ceez-its. I never explained why I said it that way. Then she went to her cousin's wedding and heard the song. She's 11 now. It was a slow moving joke.

I know, I'm kinda kidding but if this guy bolts, I'm lowballing him and taking his prime digs for chicken feed. I have a place in Connecticut and a home in Maryland. I don't need a place in NYC. But I won't pass this one up if some cultist jackwagon gives it up because of his racism.

Please let the morons who said they're going to leave NYC leave. I have my eye on a loft with a doorman. All it would take is a maga cultist to sell out because he fears brown people, despite being middle eastern, himself.

I don't have her number!

Everything about change makes me sad. And excited, and empowered. I grew up the child of a hippy drifter and a cult afflicted zealot. I was raised by a serial killer. I've learned you can't mourn the past and you can't fear the future. You take wins where you can and you destroy your detractors.

But you're so good at it.

I talked my way into playing with a band and we closed out the year with a song called Don't Look Back.

What a perfect way to end the old one.

Drunk playing guitar.

It's worked for the last 56 years, why should this one be any different?

Cyber trucks have the autobrake feature which applies the brakes to avoid drivers encroaching on their lane. So if you're just ahead of one and the sensors see you weaving toward their lane, it will stand on the brakes, hard, so the driver won't hit you. Just for future reference.