Steve West
@stevewestwrites.bsky.social
Author of the Kingsmoot fantasy series. Arsenal forever. U2 is my soundtrack. See more at SteveWestWrites.com.
Dangit, I waited too long and now I can’t make my yearly plan until 2027.
January 4, 2026 at 7:59 PM
Dangit, I waited too long and now I can’t make my yearly plan until 2027.
The US military: We commit more war crimes by 9am than most people do all day.
December 31, 2025 at 6:27 PM
The US military: We commit more war crimes by 9am than most people do all day.
Seen it once you’ve seen it a thousand times. VAR spending all their time trying to disallow an Arsenal goal. This time they can’t.
December 30, 2025 at 9:47 PM
Seen it once you’ve seen it a thousand times. VAR spending all their time trying to disallow an Arsenal goal. This time they can’t.
“Acute marshmallow poisoning.”
- the result if they did my autopsy right now
- the result if they did my autopsy right now
December 27, 2025 at 10:41 PM
“Acute marshmallow poisoning.”
- the result if they did my autopsy right now
- the result if they did my autopsy right now
My wife got mad at me last night because I refused to make a hot water bottle for the cat.
“But she’ll be cold.”
Then she can get on the bed with us like the other cat does. Everyone wins.
“But she’ll be cold.”
Then she can get on the bed with us like the other cat does. Everyone wins.
December 16, 2025 at 9:41 PM
My wife got mad at me last night because I refused to make a hot water bottle for the cat.
“But she’ll be cold.”
Then she can get on the bed with us like the other cat does. Everyone wins.
“But she’ll be cold.”
Then she can get on the bed with us like the other cat does. Everyone wins.
How dumb are NFL coaches? I mean, they need someone to point out where they should go to shake the other coach’s hand.
December 14, 2025 at 8:46 PM
How dumb are NFL coaches? I mean, they need someone to point out where they should go to shake the other coach’s hand.
Wolves score 3, but Arsenal win 2-1. Much harder than I thought it would ever be.
December 13, 2025 at 9:59 PM
Wolves score 3, but Arsenal win 2-1. Much harder than I thought it would ever be.
Turned the tv on this morning and there was a religious show on the channel I’d left it on. I say religious, but in the ten seconds I had it on, the guy literally said “you’re either a giver or a taker” and I don’t think that’s the language Jesus used.
December 7, 2025 at 2:47 PM
Turned the tv on this morning and there was a religious show on the channel I’d left it on. I say religious, but in the ten seconds I had it on, the guy literally said “you’re either a giver or a taker” and I don’t think that’s the language Jesus used.
So pleased to see Lando Norris win the F1 title. Gives hope to everyone with a dad worth hundreds of millions.
December 7, 2025 at 2:42 PM
So pleased to see Lando Norris win the F1 title. Gives hope to everyone with a dad worth hundreds of millions.
My wife is currently committing the absolute crime of eating apple pie without any icecream.
November 28, 2025 at 3:15 AM
My wife is currently committing the absolute crime of eating apple pie without any icecream.
I’ve said it before a thousand times: if you have to watch a bunch of replays and put in lines to check offside, it’s very definitely NOT a clear and obvious error.
November 22, 2025 at 7:03 PM
I’ve said it before a thousand times: if you have to watch a bunch of replays and put in lines to check offside, it’s very definitely NOT a clear and obvious error.
Does anyone even make guillotines any more?
November 14, 2025 at 1:13 AM
Does anyone even make guillotines any more?
NFL QB: <throws ball 55 yards, misses WR by a foot>
NFL Commentator: Wow, he really overthrew that one
Me: <throws trash 1 yard, misses trashcan by a foot> Me too
NFL Commentator: Wow, he really overthrew that one
Me: <throws trash 1 yard, misses trashcan by a foot> Me too
November 2, 2025 at 7:18 PM
NFL QB: <throws ball 55 yards, misses WR by a foot>
NFL Commentator: Wow, he really overthrew that one
Me: <throws trash 1 yard, misses trashcan by a foot> Me too
NFL Commentator: Wow, he really overthrew that one
Me: <throws trash 1 yard, misses trashcan by a foot> Me too
Me, turning on the game in the ninth: I’m just going to watch the end.
The baseball gods: One inning? You will see A WHOLE GAME
The baseball gods: One inning? You will see A WHOLE GAME
October 28, 2025 at 6:20 AM
Me, turning on the game in the ninth: I’m just going to watch the end.
The baseball gods: One inning? You will see A WHOLE GAME
The baseball gods: One inning? You will see A WHOLE GAME
You don’t celebrate because you respect your former team, but they have spent the last half hour booing and cursing you for leaving them. Hmm. High road, I guess.
October 4, 2025 at 2:43 PM
You don’t celebrate because you respect your former team, but they have spent the last half hour booing and cursing you for leaving them. Hmm. High road, I guess.
Astounding. This ref couldn’t be more blatant in his bias. Literally every decision against us. Even refused us a clear penalty and then gave them the ball. If it wasn’t a penalty it was a corner. Can’t win against 12.
September 28, 2025 at 4:11 PM
Astounding. This ref couldn’t be more blatant in his bias. Literally every decision against us. Even refused us a clear penalty and then gave them the ball. If it wasn’t a penalty it was a corner. Can’t win against 12.
Scammers will have GoFundMe’s running on Wednesday saying “I gave everything away because I thought I would be raptured, please donate to help me get back on my feet.”
And a lot of dumb people will donate.
And a lot of dumb people will donate.
September 22, 2025 at 9:09 PM
Scammers will have GoFundMe’s running on Wednesday saying “I gave everything away because I thought I would be raptured, please donate to help me get back on my feet.”
And a lot of dumb people will donate.
And a lot of dumb people will donate.
Hey Google AI what day do you think it is today?
September 8, 2025 at 9:58 PM
Hey Google AI what day do you think it is today?
You have to remember that was not a title decider. There’s a long way to go, and Liverpool only wins the league when everyone else chokes. We just need to not choke.
Having said that, 3 games in and I’m already worried about Gyokeres. How many touches did he have today? How many shots?
Having said that, 3 games in and I’m already worried about Gyokeres. How many touches did he have today? How many shots?
August 31, 2025 at 5:33 PM
You have to remember that was not a title decider. There’s a long way to go, and Liverpool only wins the league when everyone else chokes. We just need to not choke.
Having said that, 3 games in and I’m already worried about Gyokeres. How many touches did he have today? How many shots?
Having said that, 3 games in and I’m already worried about Gyokeres. How many touches did he have today? How many shots?
DC when I visited in April. I guess the criminals were just out of frame.
August 11, 2025 at 10:58 PM
DC when I visited in April. I guess the criminals were just out of frame.
Waking up at 6am with a song stuck in my head.
Well, at least I got today’s soundtrack taken care of early.
Well, at least I got today’s soundtrack taken care of early.
July 21, 2025 at 3:49 PM
Waking up at 6am with a song stuck in my head.
Well, at least I got today’s soundtrack taken care of early.
Well, at least I got today’s soundtrack taken care of early.
JD Vance is a regular guy, just like the rest of us.
I mean, doesn’t everyone who has a bad time at Disneyland decide they should spend a couple weeks in England to recover?
I mean, doesn’t everyone who has a bad time at Disneyland decide they should spend a couple weeks in England to recover?
July 21, 2025 at 3:46 PM
JD Vance is a regular guy, just like the rest of us.
I mean, doesn’t everyone who has a bad time at Disneyland decide they should spend a couple weeks in England to recover?
I mean, doesn’t everyone who has a bad time at Disneyland decide they should spend a couple weeks in England to recover?
If DAZN intended the CWC to be a promotion for their service, maybe they should have dealt with the pauses and streams just stopping and restarting the game.
July 4, 2025 at 7:32 PM
If DAZN intended the CWC to be a promotion for their service, maybe they should have dealt with the pauses and streams just stopping and restarting the game.
The thing about the Bezos wedding is, of all the lists of celebrities that attended, I haven’t seen anything about friends being there.
So, does he have any actual friends? Or are they all just rich acquaintances?
So, does he have any actual friends? Or are they all just rich acquaintances?
July 1, 2025 at 12:34 PM
The thing about the Bezos wedding is, of all the lists of celebrities that attended, I haven’t seen anything about friends being there.
So, does he have any actual friends? Or are they all just rich acquaintances?
So, does he have any actual friends? Or are they all just rich acquaintances?
If you go down clutching your chin, and the replay shows you were hit in the chest and nowhere near the face, that is a dive. It should be a suspension for cheating.
June 24, 2025 at 7:13 PM
If you go down clutching your chin, and the replay shows you were hit in the chest and nowhere near the face, that is a dive. It should be a suspension for cheating.