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stuartcb.bsky.social
Chain Bear
@stuartcb.bsky.social
610 followers 390 following 2K posts
You might know me for F1 or my nudey drawings.
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stuartcb.bsky.social
This kind of notification never fails to make me giggle even though I can totally guess the context.

Feels like a Hansard summary
Phone notification from Mastodon that says "you were mentioned by Girl on the Net" followed by the sub text "Butt plugs"
December 1, 2025 at 9:55 PM
stuartcb.bsky.social
@neverenoughshoe.bsky.social Went looking in old photo folders for something and came upon this from, like, ... 15 years ago?
A bunch of people at a pub table and a bunch of taake a break style weekly magazines between them
November 29, 2025 at 12:10 PM
stuartcb.bsky.social
It's a hell of a weekend to also have a little orgy. Luckily I'm a nap strategy pro. I'm sure I'll be firing on all cylinders appropriately. Probably.
Timings for the Las Vegas GP sessions over the weekend: 21 NOV PRACTICE1 00:30 - 01:30 21 NOV PRACTICE2 04:00 - 05:00 22 NOV PRACTICE3 00:30 - 11:30 22 NOV QUALIFYING 04:00 - 05:00 23 NOV RACE 04:00
November 20, 2025 at 1:37 PM
stuartcb.bsky.social
I think I'm onto something with this. Just hear me out
Me texting: I made a pasta dish that was... fine. But I'm feeling unsatisfied. I want someone to come here and feed me pie I need a fuck buddy for pies. A pie buddy. Where we just get together for desserts.
November 19, 2025 at 8:29 PM
stuartcb.bsky.social
Lol at this Predator Badlands review
4 star Letterboxd review of Predator Badlands that reads "insane banjo-kazooie adaptation"
November 17, 2025 at 9:46 PM
stuartcb.bsky.social
This is like the third time I've got her with this stupid joke
Text convo with a friend: Her: Just watching gaslight for the first time Her: The death becomes her music is very clearly an homage to this Me: Ah interesting Me: No we watched it together Her: I don't think so Me: Yeah definitely Me: (winky face)
November 6, 2025 at 10:38 PM
stuartcb.bsky.social
Mirror selfie except I'm holding my mug between the camera and the mirror so I'm peering over in the reflection. The mug is white with painted breeds and grasses
November 4, 2025 at 2:05 PM
stuartcb.bsky.social
Does this seem like a bread that really has "the best of both"?
Simpsons screenshot with Lionel Hutz delivering a speech in court and Marge looking embarrassed on the witness stand. It's the scene where he says "do these sound like the actions of a man who had all he could eat?" but there's no caption
November 4, 2025 at 8:32 AM
stuartcb.bsky.social
Got you a sexy gift.
Boxed toy of Cat Mario from Super Mario. He's yellow in a cat suit and comes with a bell
November 1, 2025 at 11:32 AM
stuartcb.bsky.social
Simpsons still where it's night in Lenny's kitchen and Homer is standing at the table and Lenny is at the fridge in pyjamas saying "hey Homer, you still here? Boy, you are slow"
October 26, 2025 at 7:25 AM
stuartcb.bsky.social
Oh it's just this classic that's become part of the lexicon of Tumblr
Tumblr post where the first user says "the reading comprehension and overall common sense on this site is piss poor" and a reply reads "how dare you say we piss on the poor"
October 17, 2025 at 6:40 PM
stuartcb.bsky.social
This Simpsons episode is like 28 years old but the end bit is one of the more obscure quotes that's hard burned into my head for some reason. And in recent years it does feel more and more like the goal of humanity.
Simpsons screenshot of military man giving a speech (to military graduates, off screen) with the text: The wars of the future wil not be fought on the battlefield or at sea. They will be fought in space, or possibly on top of a very tall mountain. In any case, most actual fighting will be done by small robots, and as you go forth today remember your duty is clear: to build and maintain those robots.
October 15, 2025 at 9:56 AM
stuartcb.bsky.social
Oh they've got this all screwed up
Packet of Old El Paso Tortilla Nachips, except it's been altered with digital red pen so it reads "Tortilla? Na, chips!" a là Lionel Hutz
October 13, 2025 at 1:53 PM
stuartcb.bsky.social
Manage to crack an NYT crossword goal this week with a Wednesday under 7 minutes.
Graph showing the Best Solve Time for each day of the week of the NYT crossword Monday 03:47 Tuesday 05:19 Wednesday 06:52 Thursday 11:33 Friday 13:47 Saturday 14:50 Sunday 19:24
October 9, 2025 at 4:24 PM
stuartcb.bsky.social
"I have a plug, Greg. Can you recycle me?"
Poster on a tube train that has a car surrounded by appliances. The text reads "Gaze into my eyes tube riders. Anything with a plug, battery or cable can be recycled"
October 8, 2025 at 7:36 PM
stuartcb.bsky.social
When I throw an orgy but I'm modest about it.
A still from a movie. Four middle aged Japanese men stand aggressively in a doorway. The caption reads "Okay. Let's have some of your normal noodles"
October 6, 2025 at 6:20 PM
stuartcb.bsky.social
Edit of Classically lit memes Tumblr post so it reads RIP to everyone killed for their hubris by (F1) but im different. and better. maybe even better than (F1)
October 4, 2025 at 8:59 AM
stuartcb.bsky.social
"Bernie is dying"
"This ain't about him"
YouTube thumbnail from More Perfect Union called "I Took Bernie into Deep Trump Country. Can he win them over?" and the image is a shot of a guy driving a car with Bernie in the seat next to him, slid down looking like he's gripping for deal life with a panicked expression (probably just his Resting Bernie Pose)
September 16, 2025 at 10:08 AM
stuartcb.bsky.social
Sometimes you just see what you see
Snippet of text message I'm sent an image of a tuxedo cat, loafed, facing forwards. His front paws are tucked in front on his chest all round and prominent. "Look at those front paws" I reply "oh delightful" ... "Though they do look a bit like big naturals"
September 15, 2025 at 6:56 PM
stuartcb.bsky.social
Was watching a film yesterday and what a line, honestly
Still from a film, interior. A blonde woman is looking at a brunette man (we're looking over his shoulder) Voice over captions read: "Every time l go on date, I suffer from the same deception as with a Big Mac."
September 14, 2025 at 11:09 AM
stuartcb.bsky.social
When Colin goes too far
Night photo of car with number plate WH04 COL
August 24, 2025 at 9:49 PM
stuartcb.bsky.social
Photo of book page, text reads "The dyes that I used in ny dressmaking were composed from various i ingredients, depending on the colour required, but almost allrequired nightshade, sapphire, keese wing, the leaves of the silent princess plant, Octorok eyeball, swift violet, thistle and hightail lizard. In addition, for the red I had used for Abrila's dress, I employed spicy pepper, the tail of the red lizalfos and four Hylian shrooms. Despite he abundance of component parts, the resultant mixture was as inoffensive the to the nose as it was damaging to the body." Underlines is "red lizalfos and four hylian shrooms"
August 18, 2025 at 10:05 AM
stuartcb.bsky.social
Luigi from Mario bros squinting at a phone screen
August 15, 2025 at 9:34 PM
stuartcb.bsky.social
Stargate planet has three moons but they're all Earth's moon
Screrncap from Stargate. It's a desert with a pyramid and two tiny figures in the foreground. In the blue sky are three moons, all Earth's moon rotated and scaled in various ways
August 11, 2025 at 11:31 AM
stuartcb.bsky.social
I'll never stop finding the relentless commodification of Squid Game hilarious
A red box of Best Cereal that's Squid Game themes with one of the guards on the front and netflix logo in the corner. It's honeycomb crisp flavour apparently.
August 10, 2025 at 8:47 AM