Tripped on an uneven piece of sidewalk at 5:30 am this morning & landed face first on the concrete, if anyone's wondering how my New Year is going. My scrapes make it look like I have a blood goatee & a fascist mustache. Better luck in 2027, I guess.

I'm 41. Don't make me go to a DJ dance party that starts at 10 pm.

My wife describing New York:

Only 67 days until the 2025 Eurovision final.

There is nothing hotter than being a good human being.

The number of chocolate-covered strawberries I've eaten today is not less than 5.

Rainy days are 80% more depressing without a cat to sit in your lap.

Why the fuck do we need gender markers on passports or any other piece of ID? What difference does it make to the purpose of the ID? It doesn’t change my citizenship status or whether I’m a legal driver. It’s way less helpful than the photo and name for identifying me. Can’t we just can it?

Some people didn't spend their entire adolescence reading YA historical fiction set in Europe during WWII and it shows.

1. This is the best flag. I will take no criticism of this flag. Look at how it celebrates an animal everyone hates. They are clearly en route to cause havoc and strife. Look at how ludicrously impossible it would be for a child to draw. And a fleur de lys! Truly perfection.

I don’t have to fend off the desire to comply in advance. Anyone who knows me knows that, fortunately or unfortunately, I would rather die than let someone I don’t respect tell me what to do.

Also, for all the companies abandoning their diversity, equality, and inclusion initiatives: grow a fucking backbone. You're embarrassing yourselves.

If your moral principal strips another human being of their dignity, it's not a moral principle: it's cruelty.

It's so easy to treat other humans w kindness. If your principles don't come from a place of love, kindness, or understanding they could, @ the very least, come from a place of DO NO HARM