@system-nine.bsky.social
#dissociativeidentitydisorder
Was covert for 50+ years, was then able to think about my system for about a year and a half. Did some discovery and healing and am now integrated. Willing to share my experience.
60 years old cis male (He, Him)
Was covert for 50+ years, was then able to think about my system for about a year and a half. Did some discovery and healing and am now integrated. Willing to share my experience.
60 years old cis male (He, Him)
Pinned
Before last year, I was not very consciously aware of my alters. Anytime I would wonder about how my mind worked I would end up feeling like I was imagining it and the thought would fade away, they were unimportant.
I was thinking about my system this morning. My alter, Seer has a plan to bring us all together. Gatekeeper wanted to know if we were going to force Survivor to join us and we said no. Gatekeeper then joined us since that was what he was guarding against.
January 15, 2025 at 1:26 PM
I was thinking about my system this morning. My alter, Seer has a plan to bring us all together. Gatekeeper wanted to know if we were going to force Survivor to join us and we said no. Gatekeeper then joined us since that was what he was guarding against.
Wow. I was not expecting to find a little in my system. He was really hiding well. Our friend spotted him, we were totally unaware of him. We saw him when he said goodbye to our friend today. We gave him a toy car, he loves it.
I thought I had my system just about figured out...
I thought I had my system just about figured out...
January 13, 2025 at 1:15 AM
Wow. I was not expecting to find a little in my system. He was really hiding well. Our friend spotted him, we were totally unaware of him. We saw him when he said goodbye to our friend today. We gave him a toy car, he loves it.
I thought I had my system just about figured out...
I thought I had my system just about figured out...
I just have one more sibling to talk to about my DID. I have had very good conversations with the other 9. I do need to check back in with them because they are worrying about me. But I am actually doing a lot better than I have in the past (not that I was doing badly in the past).
January 9, 2025 at 4:22 PM
I just have one more sibling to talk to about my DID. I have had very good conversations with the other 9. I do need to check back in with them because they are worrying about me. But I am actually doing a lot better than I have in the past (not that I was doing badly in the past).
So I have an alter that I call Seer.
I have been aware of him for a while but I have a hard time accepting him.
My problem is that I believe everything has a rational explaination.
Seer believes in the paranormal and has had something to say for a while.
I have been aware of him for a while but I have a hard time accepting him.
My problem is that I believe everything has a rational explaination.
Seer believes in the paranormal and has had something to say for a while.
January 7, 2025 at 12:45 PM
So I have an alter that I call Seer.
I have been aware of him for a while but I have a hard time accepting him.
My problem is that I believe everything has a rational explaination.
Seer believes in the paranormal and has had something to say for a while.
I have been aware of him for a while but I have a hard time accepting him.
My problem is that I believe everything has a rational explaination.
Seer believes in the paranormal and has had something to say for a while.
How do you deal with alters that have different beliefs from yours? I am not spiritual, I don't believe in things that defy rational explanations. But, part of me does. I feel I have to accept all of myself to heal. It doesn't help that he has made predictions in the past that have come true.
January 6, 2025 at 8:04 PM
How do you deal with alters that have different beliefs from yours? I am not spiritual, I don't believe in things that defy rational explanations. But, part of me does. I feel I have to accept all of myself to heal. It doesn't help that he has made predictions in the past that have come true.
I think that in the past I have had access to all of my mental facilities but there was extra work going on to keep my system hidden.
Now I still feel like myself but things are easier?
There isn't the extra cost of the work by my alters to keep everything hidden.
Now I still feel like myself but things are easier?
There isn't the extra cost of the work by my alters to keep everything hidden.
January 6, 2025 at 10:59 AM
I think that in the past I have had access to all of my mental facilities but there was extra work going on to keep my system hidden.
Now I still feel like myself but things are easier?
There isn't the extra cost of the work by my alters to keep everything hidden.
Now I still feel like myself but things are easier?
There isn't the extra cost of the work by my alters to keep everything hidden.
Since I have begun thinking about my DID I have been aware of some self-protection mechanisms that I didn't control. One was that anytime I would think about how my mind works it would lose its emotional content, become an unreal daydream, and it would fade to nothing.
January 5, 2025 at 3:56 PM
Since I have begun thinking about my DID I have been aware of some self-protection mechanisms that I didn't control. One was that anytime I would think about how my mind works it would lose its emotional content, become an unreal daydream, and it would fade to nothing.
I am a lot more aware of my alters (at least the ones that aren't still hiding). I have an alter Maker, that might be multiple different, very similar ones, not sure. Cooking, carpentry, gardening, I shift and become very focused and efficient. I am very motivated when merged with them.
January 1, 2025 at 8:39 PM
I am a lot more aware of my alters (at least the ones that aren't still hiding). I have an alter Maker, that might be multiple different, very similar ones, not sure. Cooking, carpentry, gardening, I shift and become very focused and efficient. I am very motivated when merged with them.
Wishing a healing and productive new year to all my fellow systems.
January 1, 2025 at 3:03 AM
Wishing a healing and productive new year to all my fellow systems.
So I unexpectedly came across another alter this morning. I was thinking back to something that happened many years ago. I was playing frisbee with a friend at a park and a small, very energetic boy wanted to join in and kept running across the frisbee's path. One of my throws ended up hitting him.
December 29, 2024 at 11:37 AM
So I unexpectedly came across another alter this morning. I was thinking back to something that happened many years ago. I was playing frisbee with a friend at a park and a small, very energetic boy wanted to join in and kept running across the frisbee's path. One of my throws ended up hitting him.
Some of my siblings know about my DID now and some don't. I am visiting some of the ones that don't know this weekend. I don't want to bring them down, it is a heavy topic. But I don't see them very often. I could tell them later over Zoom... But I would rather in person. I don't know...
December 29, 2024 at 2:22 AM
Some of my siblings know about my DID now and some don't. I am visiting some of the ones that don't know this weekend. I don't want to bring them down, it is a heavy topic. But I don't see them very often. I could tell them later over Zoom... But I would rather in person. I don't know...
Never considered myself a witch but this resonates:
“First Thoughts are the everyday thoughts. Everyone has those. Second Thoughts are the thoughts you think about the way you think. People who enjoy thinking have those. Third Thoughts are thoughts that watch the world and think all by themselves.
December 26, 2024 at 2:56 PM
Never considered myself a witch but this resonates:
“First Thoughts are the everyday thoughts. Everyone has those. Second Thoughts are the thoughts you think about the way you think. People who enjoy thinking have those. Third Thoughts are thoughts that watch the world and think all by themselves.
I have been thinking about my trauma holding alter, Survivor. I had been picturing a wall separating us but now I am seeing its location as distributed throughout my mind. (Background is amused and says it is a Brane in our Brain). We are just a thought apart. It is not a large gap to bridge....
December 20, 2024 at 3:44 AM
I have been thinking about my trauma holding alter, Survivor. I had been picturing a wall separating us but now I am seeing its location as distributed throughout my mind. (Background is amused and says it is a Brane in our Brain). We are just a thought apart. It is not a large gap to bridge....
I hadn't searched by hashtags in a while. Did a search on #DID and I was very confused why so many systems were into bondage. I hadn't thought about name collisions when bucket sorting into hashtags before.
#didsystem was more what I was looking for :-)
#didsystem was more what I was looking for :-)
December 19, 2024 at 1:49 PM
I hadn't searched by hashtags in a while. Did a search on #DID and I was very confused why so many systems were into bondage. I hadn't thought about name collisions when bucket sorting into hashtags before.
#didsystem was more what I was looking for :-)
#didsystem was more what I was looking for :-)
I am seeing my therapist every couple weeks, I have an appointment tomorrow. For most of the past year not much has changed between sessions. I feel a lot has changed in the past two weeks. I have 2.5 pages of notes :-)
December 19, 2024 at 3:41 AM
I am seeing my therapist every couple weeks, I have an appointment tomorrow. For most of the past year not much has changed between sessions. I feel a lot has changed in the past two weeks. I have 2.5 pages of notes :-)
OK, it is amazing how blind I am to some of my alters. A couple of my Tai Chi students know I am plural and one of them suggested an alter was involved when I was really absorbed in teaching. I definitely noticed it tonight, I behave very differently. It is a seamless blend. I will call him Sifu.
December 17, 2024 at 2:10 AM
OK, it is amazing how blind I am to some of my alters. A couple of my Tai Chi students know I am plural and one of them suggested an alter was involved when I was really absorbed in teaching. I definitely noticed it tonight, I behave very differently. It is a seamless blend. I will call him Sifu.
Way back when I was in college I had a doppelganger that several friends told me they had seen. Looked just like me but wasn't me. Was reminded of the story recently and now I am wondering if any of my alters have something they want to tell me.
December 16, 2024 at 12:26 AM
Way back when I was in college I had a doppelganger that several friends told me they had seen. Looked just like me but wasn't me. Was reminded of the story recently and now I am wondering if any of my alters have something they want to tell me.
So I have been trying to blend and give voice to my alters and last night I tried it with the Punisher. I was embarrassed by what we were, and this morning we have changed/transformed/healed. I am shocked by the speed of it. At 300 characters per skeet/yeet this will be a little long.
December 6, 2024 at 10:41 AM
So I have been trying to blend and give voice to my alters and last night I tried it with the Punisher. I was embarrassed by what we were, and this morning we have changed/transformed/healed. I am shocked by the speed of it. At 300 characters per skeet/yeet this will be a little long.
Having thoughts about my DID, not quite ready to express them yet. I will let background chew on them for a while and see what he passes back to me :-)
December 4, 2024 at 5:18 AM
Having thoughts about my DID, not quite ready to express them yet. I will let background chew on them for a while and see what he passes back to me :-)
I talked to a couple friends about my DID. Back when I had only told a couple people I was worried about how some of my friends and family would react. My wife said I am the same as I have always been and that I don't have to tell everyone how my mind works. She is wise :-)
December 3, 2024 at 4:03 AM
I talked to a couple friends about my DID. Back when I had only told a couple people I was worried about how some of my friends and family would react. My wife said I am the same as I have always been and that I don't have to tell everyone how my mind works. She is wise :-)
So I talked to another friend about my DID and I will probably talk to some more soon. I am learning a lot now that I can think about it. I call myself Foreground and I (almost) always front. I blend with some of my alters.
November 29, 2024 at 12:43 PM
So I talked to another friend about my DID and I will probably talk to some more soon. I am learning a lot now that I can think about it. I call myself Foreground and I (almost) always front. I blend with some of my alters.
OK, I hadn't realized the icon I was using made me look like a bot. So one of my kids OK'ed using some of their space art for my avatar (is that the right word?)
November 25, 2024 at 4:09 AM
OK, I hadn't realized the icon I was using made me look like a bot. So one of my kids OK'ed using some of their space art for my avatar (is that the right word?)
I don't normally get very obsessed with anything but I spent a few weeks watching every reaction video to a song that I could find. The song had hit me like a sledgehammer and I needed to see how other people reacted to it. It seemed to hit artistic and people with mental issues particularly hard.
November 21, 2024 at 1:37 AM
I don't normally get very obsessed with anything but I spent a few weeks watching every reaction video to a song that I could find. The song had hit me like a sledgehammer and I needed to see how other people reacted to it. It seemed to hit artistic and people with mental issues particularly hard.
Is there an etiquette list for social media somewhere? I was on the other site for years and only lurked so I never really learned the rules.
When I was first over here I DM'ed "Hi" to someone and was blocked. Didn't realize it was a faux pas. I would apologize to them but they have me blocked :-)
When I was first over here I DM'ed "Hi" to someone and was blocked. Didn't realize it was a faux pas. I would apologize to them but they have me blocked :-)
November 16, 2024 at 6:54 PM
Is there an etiquette list for social media somewhere? I was on the other site for years and only lurked so I never really learned the rules.
When I was first over here I DM'ed "Hi" to someone and was blocked. Didn't realize it was a faux pas. I would apologize to them but they have me blocked :-)
When I was first over here I DM'ed "Hi" to someone and was blocked. Didn't realize it was a faux pas. I would apologize to them but they have me blocked :-)
It occurs to me that eventually someone might figure out who I am IRL. If anyone does, please keep it to yourself. My DID is private, not secret. I have talked to a few family/friends about it but would rather tell people myself rather than having it surprise them from out of the blue.
November 15, 2024 at 3:38 PM
It occurs to me that eventually someone might figure out who I am IRL. If anyone does, please keep it to yourself. My DID is private, not secret. I have talked to a few family/friends about it but would rather tell people myself rather than having it surprise them from out of the blue.