“Lads, we all know our Lottery app is perfect, but the bosses upstairs want more. What can we do”
“Maybe we can……….make it worse?”
“Yeah! Make everything take longer, click through loads of screens to do one thing!”
“It worked for the car industry”
“Pointless messages!”
“Brilliant!”
“Maybe we can……….make it worse?”
“Yeah! Make everything take longer, click through loads of screens to do one thing!”
“It worked for the car industry”
“Pointless messages!”
“Brilliant!”
February 3, 2026 at 9:11 AM
“Lads, we all know our Lottery app is perfect, but the bosses upstairs want more. What can we do”
“Maybe we can……….make it worse?”
“Yeah! Make everything take longer, click through loads of screens to do one thing!”
“It worked for the car industry”
“Pointless messages!”
“Brilliant!”
“Maybe we can……….make it worse?”
“Yeah! Make everything take longer, click through loads of screens to do one thing!”
“It worked for the car industry”
“Pointless messages!”
“Brilliant!”
Reposted by Tallboy Jimbo
For every retweet I will make Zuckerberg’s creep glasses 5% thicker
February 1, 2026 at 4:46 PM
For every retweet I will make Zuckerberg’s creep glasses 5% thicker
For reasons unspecified I’ve been watching mid noughties miss marple, sadly resulting in talking frightfully posh.
I fear it’s terribly terribly annoying.
I fear it’s terribly terribly annoying.
January 28, 2026 at 6:25 PM
For reasons unspecified I’ve been watching mid noughties miss marple, sadly resulting in talking frightfully posh.
I fear it’s terribly terribly annoying.
I fear it’s terribly terribly annoying.
They won’t feel the benefit when they go out
January 23, 2026 at 8:48 PM
They won’t feel the benefit when they go out
What a fucking piece of shit
Trump on NATO: "I've always said, will they be there if we ever needed them? That's really the ultimate test. I'm not sure of that. We've never needed them. They'll say they sent some troops to Afghanistan and this or that. And they did. They stayed a little back, off the front lines."
January 22, 2026 at 1:48 PM
What a fucking piece of shit
I’ve just watched Heads of State on prime and I’m awash with feelings of guilt, confusion, shame and a sliver of enjoyment.
January 17, 2026 at 8:23 PM
I’ve just watched Heads of State on prime and I’m awash with feelings of guilt, confusion, shame and a sliver of enjoyment.
I’ve got new big fancy iPhone and I’m not sure I like it.
And I’m stuck with it. First world problems admittedly.
And I’m stuck with it. First world problems admittedly.
January 14, 2026 at 7:10 PM
I’ve got new big fancy iPhone and I’m not sure I like it.
And I’m stuck with it. First world problems admittedly.
And I’m stuck with it. First world problems admittedly.
When I'm king of the world, I'm feeding the devs of Move to iOs app into a wood chipper
January 7, 2026 at 8:15 PM
When I'm king of the world, I'm feeding the devs of Move to iOs app into a wood chipper
I suspect quite a few new managers will find it written into their contract that if they start saying stupid shit at press conferences trying to get sacked, they'll get nowt when the do.
January 5, 2026 at 2:44 PM
I suspect quite a few new managers will find it written into their contract that if they start saying stupid shit at press conferences trying to get sacked, they'll get nowt when the do.
I was going to have a large slab of an out of date Caramel Cascade pudding from morrisons that's gone out of date but the more I look at the box the more it looks like a leaking anus.
Bon appetite!
Bon appetite!
January 3, 2026 at 1:06 AM
I was going to have a large slab of an out of date Caramel Cascade pudding from morrisons that's gone out of date but the more I look at the box the more it looks like a leaking anus.
Bon appetite!
Bon appetite!
BBC News - www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/c8...
Switzerland ski bar fire that killed 40 started by sparklers on champagne bottles, officials say - BBC News
I've lost count of the emails I've sent trying to drill in H&S concerns at an event. I'll bet somebody said "we'll be fine"
Switzerland ski bar fire that killed 40 started by sparklers on champagne bottles, officials say - BBC News
I've lost count of the emails I've sent trying to drill in H&S concerns at an event. I'll bet somebody said "we'll be fine"
Switzerland ski bar fire that killed 40 started by sparklers on champagne bottles, officials say
Some 113 injured people have been formally identified, authorities add. They include 71 Swiss citizens, 14 French and 11 Italians.
www.bbc.co.uk
January 2, 2026 at 2:47 PM
BBC News - www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/c8...
Switzerland ski bar fire that killed 40 started by sparklers on champagne bottles, officials say - BBC News
I've lost count of the emails I've sent trying to drill in H&S concerns at an event. I'll bet somebody said "we'll be fine"
Switzerland ski bar fire that killed 40 started by sparklers on champagne bottles, officials say - BBC News
I've lost count of the emails I've sent trying to drill in H&S concerns at an event. I'll bet somebody said "we'll be fine"
First guilt trip of the year, great stuff
January 1, 2026 at 3:09 PM
First guilt trip of the year, great stuff
Happy New Year, folks.
If you've powered through 2025 like a boss, keep going! If 2025 has battered you, I really hope its going to be much better in 2026.
I'm now going to watch that traditional festive favourite, Bad Boys: Ride or Die. Probably through one eye, cos I'm hammered.
If you've powered through 2025 like a boss, keep going! If 2025 has battered you, I really hope its going to be much better in 2026.
I'm now going to watch that traditional festive favourite, Bad Boys: Ride or Die. Probably through one eye, cos I'm hammered.
December 31, 2025 at 11:08 PM
Happy New Year, folks.
If you've powered through 2025 like a boss, keep going! If 2025 has battered you, I really hope its going to be much better in 2026.
I'm now going to watch that traditional festive favourite, Bad Boys: Ride or Die. Probably through one eye, cos I'm hammered.
If you've powered through 2025 like a boss, keep going! If 2025 has battered you, I really hope its going to be much better in 2026.
I'm now going to watch that traditional festive favourite, Bad Boys: Ride or Die. Probably through one eye, cos I'm hammered.
Due to a scheduling issue, I've only just unwrapped the majority of my prezzies. According to my wider circle, I need a hobby. I've received 13 bottles of gin so I'm guessing that hobby is entry level alcoholism?
December 29, 2025 at 6:19 PM
Due to a scheduling issue, I've only just unwrapped the majority of my prezzies. According to my wider circle, I need a hobby. I've received 13 bottles of gin so I'm guessing that hobby is entry level alcoholism?
Friends fear he'll be talking like Beniot Blanc until he can find another way to be an annoying twat
December 29, 2025 at 5:04 PM
Friends fear he'll be talking like Beniot Blanc until he can find another way to be an annoying twat
Oh good, guests.
December 27, 2025 at 3:43 PM
Oh good, guests.
Cannot wait for tedious normality of the 5th January.
December 27, 2025 at 2:08 PM
Cannot wait for tedious normality of the 5th January.
Test cricket, but not as we know it.
But well played lads
But well played lads
December 27, 2025 at 12:01 PM
Test cricket, but not as we know it.
But well played lads
But well played lads
Trying to keep up with the cricket
a cartoon of a man in a suit and tie with the words " chuckling nervously " below him
ALT: a cartoon of a man in a suit and tie with the words " chuckling nervously " below him
media.tenor.com
December 27, 2025 at 4:16 AM
Trying to keep up with the cricket
This test match is done today and we ain't winning it #bbccricket
December 27, 2025 at 12:59 AM
This test match is done today and we ain't winning it #bbccricket
Fun day. I goosed,won the Christmas quiz and latterly tripped down the stairs. All done sober.
December 25, 2025 at 11:04 PM
Fun day. I goosed,won the Christmas quiz and latterly tripped down the stairs. All done sober.
I wear the chain I forged in life, I made it link by link, and yard by yard; I girded it on of my own free will, and of my own free will I wore it.
December 24, 2025 at 3:58 PM
I wear the chain I forged in life, I made it link by link, and yard by yard; I girded it on of my own free will, and of my own free will I wore it.
I used to love the run up to christmas now my hatred for it grows every year
December 23, 2025 at 11:26 PM
I used to love the run up to christmas now my hatred for it grows every year
Guess who swapped the big German Newcastle forward out of his FPL team last night, go on guess.
December 20, 2025 at 1:31 PM
Guess who swapped the big German Newcastle forward out of his FPL team last night, go on guess.