Greg Dobbins
@thatgregdobbins.bsky.social
Would-be children's writer, full-time idiot.
Pinned
Greg Dobbins
@thatgregdobbins.bsky.social
· Nov 16
The Positively Pleasant Pirates: Amazon.co.uk: Dobbins, Greg, Morse, Simon: 9781909772038: Books
Buy The Positively Pleasant Pirates by Dobbins, Greg, Morse, Simon (ISBN: 9781909772038) from Amazon's Book Store. Everyday low prices and free delivery on eligible orders.
www.amazon.co.uk
My writing journey so far, such as it is...
My first book was a picture book, published with a local indie publisher back in 2013 (can't believe it was that long ago!)
www.amazon.co.uk/Positively-P...
My first book was a picture book, published with a local indie publisher back in 2013 (can't believe it was that long ago!)
www.amazon.co.uk/Positively-P...
Most important thing when buying a new hoodie - what are the drawstrings like to play with?
December 26, 2025 at 4:34 PM
Most important thing when buying a new hoodie - what are the drawstrings like to play with?
Hmm, apparently it was Carol Singers at the door, but I can't hear any singing?
*Heads to the front door*
Ooohhh, Carol Mimes!
*Heads to the front door*
Ooohhh, Carol Mimes!
a man in a mime costume is making a funny face
ALT: a man in a mime costume is making a funny face
media.tenor.com
December 24, 2025 at 2:56 PM
Hmm, apparently it was Carol Singers at the door, but I can't hear any singing?
*Heads to the front door*
Ooohhh, Carol Mimes!
*Heads to the front door*
Ooohhh, Carol Mimes!
One of the biggest Christmas stresses is making sure there is always some of the nice cutlery clean, so you don't have to resort to using the weird stuff that usually just sits in the drawer unused.
December 23, 2025 at 2:44 PM
One of the biggest Christmas stresses is making sure there is always some of the nice cutlery clean, so you don't have to resort to using the weird stuff that usually just sits in the drawer unused.
Don't like to brag, but just did an amazing scissor glide through the wrapping paper.
December 23, 2025 at 12:00 PM
Don't like to brag, but just did an amazing scissor glide through the wrapping paper.
December 23, 2025 at 11:59 AM
At least his books got children reading, actually a good thing for other writers, something something...
December 20, 2025 at 8:11 AM
At least his books got children reading, actually a good thing for other writers, something something...
Sorry I haven't posted much today - been busy at work, emailing back and forth with HR because someone tried to send me some work to do. And apparently it isn't illegal to do that on 19th December? Even when it's a Friday?
December 19, 2025 at 2:56 PM
Sorry I haven't posted much today - been busy at work, emailing back and forth with HR because someone tried to send me some work to do. And apparently it isn't illegal to do that on 19th December? Even when it's a Friday?
December 18, 2025 at 1:33 PM
He's making a list, he's checking it twice...
Calling it now: 2026 is going to be the opposite of 2016. All the shittiest people are going to die
December 18, 2025 at 8:57 AM
He's making a list, he's checking it twice...
Oh very much this. I basically create a Choose Your Own Adventure book in my head each time so that every possible path the lie could take is covered.
It's like Mission Impossible but to get out of coffee and cake.
It's like Mission Impossible but to get out of coffee and cake.
I am planning a harmless white lie to get out of a truly horrible social obligation (the person in question is not at all online, none of you fuckers rat me out) and I’m so panicked about it I’ve put calendar reminders in my phone that say things like “set stage for lie”
December 17, 2025 at 5:33 PM
Oh very much this. I basically create a Choose Your Own Adventure book in my head each time so that every possible path the lie could take is covered.
It's like Mission Impossible but to get out of coffee and cake.
It's like Mission Impossible but to get out of coffee and cake.
I'm here to buy a Christmas Tree that says Christmas on the box and to kick ass, and I can't see any... what's that? Where? By the sign that says Christmas Trees you say? Where exactly? Down the Christmas Aisle? Just past the Christmas Cards, and next to the Christmas Decorations? Oh, ok. Thank you!
December 11, 2025 at 1:42 PM
I'm here to buy a Christmas Tree that says Christmas on the box and to kick ass, and I can't see any... what's that? Where? By the sign that says Christmas Trees you say? Where exactly? Down the Christmas Aisle? Just past the Christmas Cards, and next to the Christmas Decorations? Oh, ok. Thank you!
*pinching the bridge of my nose* Think of it like this... he doesn't know his left from his right, okay? So that would hold true when he was writing on his wellies too, see? And then he'd put them on, and they'd actually be on the right feet? Get it?
US Border Guard: Run that by me one more time...
US Border Guard: Run that by me one more time...
There is at least a possibility, when you think through the logic of it, that Jimmy Cricket was in fact wearing his wellies on the correct feet.
- I'm not sure this meeting is as urgent as you made out
- I'm not sure this meeting is as urgent as you made out
December 11, 2025 at 12:09 PM
*pinching the bridge of my nose* Think of it like this... he doesn't know his left from his right, okay? So that would hold true when he was writing on his wellies too, see? And then he'd put them on, and they'd actually be on the right feet? Get it?
US Border Guard: Run that by me one more time...
US Border Guard: Run that by me one more time...
Imagine if it was socially acceptable to eat Brandy Butter like it was a yoghurt. Just imagine that. Keep imagining that. Just keep imagining a bit longer, I've only got a couple more spoonfuls to go.
December 11, 2025 at 10:54 AM
Imagine if it was socially acceptable to eat Brandy Butter like it was a yoghurt. Just imagine that. Keep imagining that. Just keep imagining a bit longer, I've only got a couple more spoonfuls to go.
Elliot Smith did a stunning cover of this, worth looking up
BBC Radio 6 Music
Nick Grimshaw
Now Playing
Big Star
Thirteen
Nick Grimshaw
Now Playing
Big Star
Thirteen
December 11, 2025 at 9:44 AM
Elliot Smith did a stunning cover of this, worth looking up
Saw some Mini Eggs in the supermarket. Didn't even say Christmas on them.
a woman is giving a speech at a podium and says that is a disgrace .
ALT: a woman is giving a speech at a podium and says that is a disgrace .
media.tenor.com
December 10, 2025 at 9:47 PM
Saw some Mini Eggs in the supermarket. Didn't even say Christmas on them.
I've decided the best way to get another book published is to become a celebrity first, so I'm pleased to announce that I'll be competing at the next Olympics.
I will be sending a ghost athlete to compete as me, but it's been a lifelong dream of mine to be an Olympian, can't wait to win that Gold!
I will be sending a ghost athlete to compete as me, but it's been a lifelong dream of mine to be an Olympian, can't wait to win that Gold!
December 10, 2025 at 4:04 PM
I've decided the best way to get another book published is to become a celebrity first, so I'm pleased to announce that I'll be competing at the next Olympics.
I will be sending a ghost athlete to compete as me, but it's been a lifelong dream of mine to be an Olympian, can't wait to win that Gold!
I will be sending a ghost athlete to compete as me, but it's been a lifelong dream of mine to be an Olympian, can't wait to win that Gold!
A Sankey is a really good visualisation sometimes, really easy to pick up what has gone where. Can't help but feel though that it doesn't really matter, that toothpaste is all over the place now.
Absolutely amazing chart from @peterkellner.bsky.social's piece in @thenewworldmag.bsky.social today:
www.thenewworld.co.uk/peter-kellne...
www.thenewworld.co.uk/peter-kellne...
December 10, 2025 at 9:11 AM
A Sankey is a really good visualisation sometimes, really easy to pick up what has gone where. Can't help but feel though that it doesn't really matter, that toothpaste is all over the place now.
Pleased to report that my workplace are rolling out Magic 8 Ball across all platforms to support our work and help with some routine processes, freeing up our time to concentrate on higher level tasks such as finding a teaspoon in the kitchen.
December 9, 2025 at 2:14 PM
Pleased to report that my workplace are rolling out Magic 8 Ball across all platforms to support our work and help with some routine processes, freeing up our time to concentrate on higher level tasks such as finding a teaspoon in the kitchen.
Been to several supermarkets and not a single bag of sprouts had the word Christmas on them. Oh, wouldn't want to upset the Mexicans, would we? Woke gone mad.
December 9, 2025 at 8:38 AM
Been to several supermarkets and not a single bag of sprouts had the word Christmas on them. Oh, wouldn't want to upset the Mexicans, would we? Woke gone mad.
Friday afternoon work tip - stick Last Christmas on on a loop in the office, might keep a few people away and stop them bothering you when you're trying to have a nap.
December 5, 2025 at 1:44 PM
Friday afternoon work tip - stick Last Christmas on on a loop in the office, might keep a few people away and stop them bothering you when you're trying to have a nap.
Very pleased to have been awarded the inaugural Custard Cream Peace Prize. A great honour.
December 5, 2025 at 1:41 PM
Very pleased to have been awarded the inaugural Custard Cream Peace Prize. A great honour.
Just heard someone say "there's that old saying, assumption makes an ass of you and me" and I mean, well, I dunno?
December 5, 2025 at 11:15 AM
Just heard someone say "there's that old saying, assumption makes an ass of you and me" and I mean, well, I dunno?
3am thought this morning - Noel Fiding.
End.
End.
December 5, 2025 at 8:38 AM
3am thought this morning - Noel Fiding.
End.
End.
Cleaning the grill pan like I'm an expert on The Repair Shop -
"That's coming up nicely now, a bit more work and we'll have it looking like it did when it was first used, and it should last the family for several more weeks of use hopefully. What a wonderful item to work on."
It gets me through.
"That's coming up nicely now, a bit more work and we'll have it looking like it did when it was first used, and it should last the family for several more weeks of use hopefully. What a wonderful item to work on."
It gets me through.
December 4, 2025 at 4:47 PM
Cleaning the grill pan like I'm an expert on The Repair Shop -
"That's coming up nicely now, a bit more work and we'll have it looking like it did when it was first used, and it should last the family for several more weeks of use hopefully. What a wonderful item to work on."
It gets me through.
"That's coming up nicely now, a bit more work and we'll have it looking like it did when it was first used, and it should last the family for several more weeks of use hopefully. What a wonderful item to work on."
It gets me through.