This ages me, but before The Mummy bisexualized a generation, I was out here having freshly blooming weekly bi-panic over every goddamn person on Xena: Warrior Princess, and it would be shameful to not mention Bruce Motherfucking Campbell as Autolycus, the King of Thieves.

We all know that Lando Calrissian deserved his own film way more than Han. Donald Glover had the charisma to pull it off too, whereas whatsisface and dragon mommy fell so flat in that film.

Oh boy, my favorite!
Starting with the one and only John Constantine, who understands that magic is 90% bullshit, and bullshit is 100% magic, and as long as you can bullshit even yourself hard enough, you can walk on water or trick enough princes of hell into making you functionally immortal.

Gotta sling that yakamein to beltalowda on Tycho Station, sasa ke?

Me too. I've had two treatments and so far and it's a weird one. Definitely not my drug of choice, but if it helps my brain, it's worth it.

I'm over here, just completely doomed to focus on the further implications. But it's a good distraction from how poorly I take a compliment, I guess. 😆

Or 6lbs and 12ozs of artificially flavored tapioca pudding ("Aseptically processed for your safety"), STIR WELL BEFORE SERVING.

The Salvage Store, a place like no other, where can be found such bewildering delights as Cheeseburger sunflower seeds.

🤔

Oh, no, he's the one that gets corrupted. Or rather, it's all already lurking within him, but the right person breaks his rigid self control, and out comes all of the angst and the primal, possesive, punishing daddy dom. 🫠