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thelaurus.bsky.social
Laur
@thelaurus.bsky.social
190 followers 730 following 280 posts
And for all we know
Everything we've known
Is just some shit we made up

Glory to Glorzo ✌️
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thelaurus.bsky.social
Bringing back a @mcsweeneys.net classic
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/whe...
It's been so long, you sometimes forget that eventually, IT will HAPPEN. It's impossible to say when IT will HAPPEN. But it can't be too long until IT HAPPENS. Looking at the data (age, high-stress job, cardiac history), it is statistically plausible that IT will HAPPEN on the next thirty-six months. Eighteen, if you factor in hamburger consumption and all the weird bruising.
January 22, 2026 at 3:19 PM
thelaurus.bsky.social
Lmao literally
Back to back skeets: More Mr Nice Guy: everybody in the trump administration (photo of creepy wax doll-like people) Matt Novak: they're such fucking weirdos (screenshot of HHS tweet with RFK Jr smiling awkwardly and looking like a creepy wax doll)
January 17, 2026 at 5:07 PM
thelaurus.bsky.social
It's giving
Michael Scott sits in front of a white board with the quote "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. - Wayne Gretzky" -Michael Scott
December 19, 2025 at 8:42 PM
thelaurus.bsky.social
*Through gritted teeth* happy for you, Brazil 🥲
Squidward looks out the window to see Patrick and SpongeBob laughing and frolicking in the sun.
November 10, 2025 at 3:05 PM
thelaurus.bsky.social
A word 🔥
I look at the leaves and wonder what could have been. I don't wonder about Congress. The answer is nothing. When you decide to be nothing, to do nothing, to change nothing, you become nothing. You take everything and you are nothing. Congress takes bribes, they take vacations, they take offense -- they take everything but the heat. They save that for us, so it can scramble our seasons and kill our trees. The heat makes leaves fall too early and ignites fear for our children's future: This is as much as you will see, this is as far as you will go.
October 30, 2025 at 4:00 PM
thelaurus.bsky.social
Lol. Lmao.
At 4:10 pm, she texted me: "By the way - everything I ever sent you is off record. You're not a journalist so it's weird saying that but just letting you know." I responded: "I'm sorry, but that's not how this works. You don't get to say that in retrospect." Halligan was unpersuaded: "Yes, I do. Off record." "I really am sorry. I would have been happy to speak with you on an off the record basis had you asked," I said. "But you didn't ask, and I still haven't agreed to speak on that basis. Do you have any further comment for the story?" To my surprise, she kept going: "it's obvious the whole convo is off record. There's disappearing messages and it's on Signal. What is your story? You never told me about a story." I didn't respond. It was time to publish my story. I'll text it to her.
October 21, 2025 at 12:43 AM
thelaurus.bsky.social
Lit a protection candle for today's protests. Be safe out there ❤️ #nokings
A lit black candle in a purple glass with herbs and crystals, sitting on a table next to two glass pumpkins and another candle just out of frame.
October 18, 2025 at 4:35 PM
thelaurus.bsky.social
Reading those lyrics and all I could think was her in the studio like
Still from "Dazed and Confused," (1993) Matthew McConaughey's character observing "That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age."
October 8, 2025 at 1:17 PM
thelaurus.bsky.social
Supermoon!
Photo of the Harvest full moon, Oct 6 2025.
October 6, 2025 at 11:32 PM
thelaurus.bsky.social
Lazy Sunday 😺
Grey tabby cat laying in the sunlight on a couch.
September 18, 2025 at 2:50 PM
thelaurus.bsky.social
Post a movie you like with a terrible rotten tomatoes score. Fun thread ⤵️
Queen of the Damned (2002): 17% Practical Magic (1998): 26%
September 16, 2025 at 11:33 PM
thelaurus.bsky.social
Oof.
Queen of the Damned (2002): 17%
September 16, 2025 at 11:11 PM
thelaurus.bsky.social
Lower the flags, boys.
Black and white photo of Robert Redford leaning with a bent elbow against a post and a wide smile.
September 16, 2025 at 2:28 PM
thelaurus.bsky.social
Reuters from March of this year as the regime purged the FBI AND ended the surveillance on the watchlist groups.
The FBI stepped up its focus on domestic terrorism following the killing of a counter protester at a 2017 white-nationalist rally in Charlottesville, Virginia. The Jan. 6, 2021 attack on the Capitol by Trump supporters locked those efforts into high gear. The FBI said in a 2023 report that it had about 2,700 active domestic terrorism investigations, about half of which were related to the Capitol riot, up from roughly 1,000 in 2020. That report identified white supremacists as posing the most consistent threat, though FBI officials have warned that violent extremists are often motivated by a mix of ideologies.
September 15, 2025 at 8:28 PM
thelaurus.bsky.social
Is this hopium? I'm cautiously optimistic as someone who has been burned by Fetterman and his about-face. But dammit, I want to believe.
Platner's campaign only becomes an insurgency against Susan Collins if he first survives the Democratic establishment. His pointed critiques of party inaction have already set the tone. His candidacy isn't just about beating Republicans, it's about forcing Democrats to do more than fundraise off of their failures. "I've not gotten a single phone call from anybody in the Democratic Party outside of the state of Maine. Nobody's followed up with me from DC. Nobody's reached out. Nothing," he says. "Which I take as a compliment."
August 29, 2025 at 1:41 PM
thelaurus.bsky.social
My husband put some googly eyes on our Roomba and I gotta say I needed the whimsy right now. He also had a martini waiting for me when I got home 🍸 I'm a lucky lady ❤️
A Roomba vacuum with two googly eyes
July 10, 2025 at 11:05 PM
thelaurus.bsky.social
We have a crow that comes by regularly now and I want to befriend it so badly 🥹🖤 Ash has...other plans, however. But as an indoor boi his odds are exceedingly low.
A grey cat watching from a window as a crow tries to get seeds from a sunflower, with storm clouds gathering in the background.
July 7, 2025 at 7:23 PM
thelaurus.bsky.social
I checked it out after seeing your posts and love it so far! But I just got this from Merlin and I'm like "stop this is supposed to be my escape" 😭
A still from Dreamlight Valley game where Merlin is telling a character,"Yes! Power can be virtuous if it's wielded wisely...which I'm afraid it rarely is. That's how we ended up with such a magical mess on our hands."
July 3, 2025 at 8:46 PM
thelaurus.bsky.social
#tinyjoys She's looking lovely 🌻💚
A yellow sunflower on a sunny day.
July 3, 2025 at 2:16 PM
thelaurus.bsky.social
Another day to be mad at the Dem strategists that made Tim Walz move away from the "they're weird!" messaging in 2024. It IS fkn weird to be so obsessed with a stranger's genitals and medical care. Let people live their damn lives! #supremecourt #transrightsarehumanrights
"Trans people existing does nothing negative to your life, you crybaby bitch" superimposed over the trans flag.
June 18, 2025 at 6:03 PM
thelaurus.bsky.social
Okay, shout-out to the Rick and Morty writers for the Tori Amos feature in the latest ep. Loved the epic Little Earthquakes scene 🎹 did not expect that but a much needed lol. Tori forever 🫶
Still from recent episode of Rick and Morty featuring a Tori Amos Little Earthquakes album that's been defaced to say "here's some more shit for your ass soy boy".
June 14, 2025 at 3:48 PM
thelaurus.bsky.social
Some #tinyjoys this morning: coffee on the deck and seeing how well our strawberries are doing 🍓
Close up of strawberries growing in a garden. Some are red and some are green; the plant is protected by a plastic guard to keep birds away.
June 5, 2025 at 1:21 PM
thelaurus.bsky.social
A truth universally acknowledged that a single housecat must be in want of a second breakfast 😹 Below, Ash's slow blink of "haha you fell for it again, dumbass"
A grey tabby cat sitting on a couch in front of a bookshelf. His eyes are closed mid-blink.
May 15, 2025 at 1:14 PM
thelaurus.bsky.social
Something is happening 🙏 this was a hopeful read on a Sunday night.
Another picketer, a 63-year-old retired physicist whose resume includes a stint at the government's Los Alamos lab, and who like several others didn't want his name used in a time of rising authoritarianism, said Musk and Trump "want a cultural revolution to destroy education and science...to start with." He added that "tech bros are trying to start a monarchy" as he held aloft a sign that read "No Kings."
February 24, 2025 at 12:16 AM
thelaurus.bsky.social
"what, people can't have different opinions anymore???" 🫥
Let me reiterate: I do not approve of the mayor locking the doors of the mall and igniting a bus full of C4 in the food court. I may have worn a shirt that said, 'Vote for the Major who will blow up the mall food court,' but that was just my fun way of saying I only cared about the bowling alley. It makes me sad that you think I wanted people to get hurt by this. Especially when it's something that directly affected me for the first time in my life, when my nephew was accidentally trapped in that mall when it exploded. Give me a little grace here. Plus, my nephew voted for the other candidate, so it's kind of his fault that he ended up there to begin with.
February 13, 2025 at 10:12 PM