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Sean Leahy

@thepunningman.bsky.social

2.2K followers 150 following 100 posts

Call a Bondulance

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Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · Dec 2

"The bond's Name. James Name"
Pleased to... what?
"Bond Name's the james"
Are you alright?
"Bames Nond's having a stronk, call a Bondulance"

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Reposted by Sean Leahy

Moose Allain @mooseallain.bsky.social · 29d

I hope this ishmael finds you whale

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Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · Sep 3

Combing donkeys is illegal.
Sorry, I don’t rake the mules.

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Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · Aug 24

I don’t know who this Irene character is either. It’s all some kind of elaborate ruse.

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Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · Jul 23

Welcome to Bookbinding for Beginners, please make yourself a tome.

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Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · May 19

This might be the first one I’ve seen on here that’s made my shoulders relax, like the good times are back.

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Reposted by Sean Leahy

soul nate @mnateshyamalan.bsky.social · May 18

wife: how was guarding the two paths today, honey?

guard: [looking away] fine

wife: did something happen?

guard: [tearing up] no

wife: would the other guard tell me something happened?

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Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · May 8

Just how Popey was the Pope today?

(From the archives, 2015)

An image of the former Pope with his garments blowing in the wind, and being turned into a pie chart. Copy reads “We surveyed 100 people abut the Pope’s latest address. We asked: In your opinion, just how popey was the Pope today? About 80% said Very Popey, loved it! 10 out of 10. About 20% said Not as Popey as I’d hopey. Great job your holiness!”

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Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · May 8

Time to dust off an old classic I guess…

Reposted by Sean Leahy

Jorkin B Peanitson @bonerman-inc.bsky.social · Apr 21

but im a jeep
im a vehicle
what the hell am i doing here
beep beep honk honk steer

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Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · Mar 2

Dammit Jeff, are you misattributing my witticisms again? We’ve spoken about this.

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Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · Feb 24

He’s just sent me a message to option the tweet for a limited series.

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Reposted by Sean Leahy

Steve Suckington @stevesuckington.bsky.social · Feb 8

jesus christ just tell us if it’s maybelline

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Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · Feb 3

Hocus Pocus (1993) follows a villainous comedic trio of witches who are inadvertently resurrected by a teenage boy in Salem, Massachusetts on Halloween night.

Sabrina Carpenter, Chappel Roan and Billie Eilish pose for a photo.

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Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · Jan 28

So you’re getting mixed emulsions…

Reposted by Sean Leahy

Glenn Moore @thenewsatglenn.bsky.social · Jan 24

Funerals should have a bit where they ask the congregation to speak up if there’s any lawful reason why the dead person shouldn’t be buried

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Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · Jan 14

Tony Slattery was an uncageable comic for whom Whose Line..? was built for. A true clown. What a talent.

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Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · Dec 20

I owe my sandwich toaster a lot of money, but debtor the breville you know.

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Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · Dec 20

It’s really frustrating that everything on the internet is inherently true.

Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · Dec 20

Wife: What is this?
Me: [covered head to toe in ketchup] Santa Sauce is coming to town
Wife: Sean, we've talked about this
Me: Happy hollandaise
Wife: You promised
Me: [shouting at the car as she drives away] …AND MAYO YOUR CHRISTMASES BE W–

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Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · Dec 18

Me: Janet’s boyfriend reminds me of Gandhi
Wife: He looks nothing like him
Janet’s bf: [tapping on car window] Don’t forget about Gandhi

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Reposted by Sean Leahy

weeder @weeder.bsky.social · Jul 17

Getting fired in the Open Office Geodesic Dome, the Hurt Yurt, the Fear Sphere, the Dodecadownsizer

A wood and fabric Geodesic Dome type structure that looks like IKEA made playground inspired office fixtures. Inside are a small table and two chairs, it's set within an industrial building repurposed as an open office floorplan

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Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · Dec 16

The police said I’d be locked up if I’m caught stealing kitchen utensils again, but I’m willing to take the whisk.

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Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · Dec 13

No refunds available. Take it up with customer services.

Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · Dec 13

Father Christmas isn’t particularly handsome in rainy weather…

But he’s dashing through the snow.

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Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · Dec 11

Enid Blyton knew

Beginning of a chapter from an Enid Blyton book. The title is “Dick gets everyone into trouble.”

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