Tom Juniper🏳️⚧️
@tomjuniper.bsky.social
Your weird, AuDHD, trans auncle. Sometimes poems and stories, sometimes unsolicited info dumping.
I don't care if you talk about me as long as you do so using he/him or they/them pronouns.
I don't care if you talk about me as long as you do so using he/him or they/them pronouns.
My pronouns are he/him - as in masculine, and they!/them! - as in terrifying giant ants clawing out of the earth from mile-deep catacombs.
November 30, 2025 at 11:53 AM
My pronouns are he/him - as in masculine, and they!/them! - as in terrifying giant ants clawing out of the earth from mile-deep catacombs.
Aaaaaaaaahhh! But you forgot the visual effects!
(Thanks for the polycule-friendly costume inspiration, @dropoutpresents.bsky.social 🫶🏻)
(Thanks for the polycule-friendly costume inspiration, @dropoutpresents.bsky.social 🫶🏻)
November 1, 2025 at 9:20 AM
Aaaaaaaaahhh! But you forgot the visual effects!
(Thanks for the polycule-friendly costume inspiration, @dropoutpresents.bsky.social 🫶🏻)
(Thanks for the polycule-friendly costume inspiration, @dropoutpresents.bsky.social 🫶🏻)
The stock "cubes" my girlfriend got at the new Korean food shop turn out not to be cubes at all.
I don't really get many trick or treaters where I live, but if I did...
"Hey kids, help yourselves to Fish Polos*!"
*Lifesavers if you're American.
I don't really get many trick or treaters where I live, but if I did...
"Hey kids, help yourselves to Fish Polos*!"
*Lifesavers if you're American.
October 19, 2025 at 3:10 PM
The stock "cubes" my girlfriend got at the new Korean food shop turn out not to be cubes at all.
I don't really get many trick or treaters where I live, but if I did...
"Hey kids, help yourselves to Fish Polos*!"
*Lifesavers if you're American.
I don't really get many trick or treaters where I live, but if I did...
"Hey kids, help yourselves to Fish Polos*!"
*Lifesavers if you're American.
This bloomed in my garden today and I thought of Caihua x
September 24, 2025 at 1:00 PM
This bloomed in my garden today and I thought of Caihua x
The best thing about having a comedian like @frizfrizzle.bsky.social for a partner is the prime seats you get when you go to their gigs.
September 13, 2025 at 10:01 AM
The best thing about having a comedian like @frizfrizzle.bsky.social for a partner is the prime seats you get when you go to their gigs.
Are you at the #Edinburghfringe? Do you enjoy poetry, storytelling and general spoken word shenanigans? Come on down to the Banshee Labyrinth Banqueting Hall on Niddry St at 7pm tonight- or indeed any night except Monday until the 24th. Part of the PBH Free Fringe. freefringe.org.uk/shows/screec...
August 13, 2025 at 3:36 PM
Are you at the #Edinburghfringe? Do you enjoy poetry, storytelling and general spoken word shenanigans? Come on down to the Banshee Labyrinth Banqueting Hall on Niddry St at 7pm tonight- or indeed any night except Monday until the 24th. Part of the PBH Free Fringe. freefringe.org.uk/shows/screec...
Got an update on my friend's dog's life of crime.
August 12, 2025 at 1:46 AM
Got an update on my friend's dog's life of crime.
A tribute to my namesake: the late, great #TomLehrer
July 28, 2025 at 11:46 AM
A tribute to my namesake: the late, great #TomLehrer
It turns out that we immediately end up in the same lift as this couple. I THINK *she* had clocked us clocking them clocking us, so to speak. So she does the awkward "I'll say something nice so the gays know we mean them no harm" thing (IYKYK). She compliments my shirt. And tells me about her cat.
July 5, 2025 at 8:56 PM
It turns out that we immediately end up in the same lift as this couple. I THINK *she* had clocked us clocking them clocking us, so to speak. So she does the awkward "I'll say something nice so the gays know we mean them no harm" thing (IYKYK). She compliments my shirt. And tells me about her cat.
Here are the portraits from various series of the "The Taskmaster": Greg Davies, for reference.
July 1, 2025 at 2:39 AM
Here are the portraits from various series of the "The Taskmaster": Greg Davies, for reference.
More updates and stray observations as they happen, but for now, let me leave you with the knowledge that the hospital department where they do amputations has a sculpture of a fucking severed hand outside.
June 27, 2025 at 6:06 AM
More updates and stray observations as they happen, but for now, let me leave you with the knowledge that the hospital department where they do amputations has a sculpture of a fucking severed hand outside.
Hung out with some cool birds in Hillsborough park today.
Cc @vicmmic.bsky.social who apparently likes this sort of thing.
Cc @vicmmic.bsky.social who apparently likes this sort of thing.
June 19, 2025 at 9:57 PM
Hung out with some cool birds in Hillsborough park today.
Cc @vicmmic.bsky.social who apparently likes this sort of thing.
Cc @vicmmic.bsky.social who apparently likes this sort of thing.
2 and 3: Mary Warton died aged 65, in 1797. Apparently leaving behind many enemies.
It would seem she inspired Thomas Ruston who died in 1848.
Rest In Power, you pair of salty legends!
It would seem she inspired Thomas Ruston who died in 1848.
Rest In Power, you pair of salty legends!
June 3, 2025 at 10:25 PM
2 and 3: Mary Warton died aged 65, in 1797. Apparently leaving behind many enemies.
It would seem she inspired Thomas Ruston who died in 1848.
Rest In Power, you pair of salty legends!
It would seem she inspired Thomas Ruston who died in 1848.
Rest In Power, you pair of salty legends!
1. Mary Cook, who died aged 37 in 1863.
There is something rather sweet about a grave which displays a personal message to a loved one.
On the other hand, presumably Mary's husband is the one who commissioned the poem.
And if so, that makes it weird.
There is something rather sweet about a grave which displays a personal message to a loved one.
On the other hand, presumably Mary's husband is the one who commissioned the poem.
And if so, that makes it weird.
June 3, 2025 at 10:18 PM
1. Mary Cook, who died aged 37 in 1863.
There is something rather sweet about a grave which displays a personal message to a loved one.
On the other hand, presumably Mary's husband is the one who commissioned the poem.
And if so, that makes it weird.
There is something rather sweet about a grave which displays a personal message to a loved one.
On the other hand, presumably Mary's husband is the one who commissioned the poem.
And if so, that makes it weird.
Coming soon to a school, office, or shopping centre near you.
May 1, 2025 at 4:17 PM
Coming soon to a school, office, or shopping centre near you.
I discovered that London starlings are BRAZEN little sods, so I filmed my hand holding a bit of a croissant by the Thames this morning, waited a few minutes, and screenshotted the best frame.
So, technically, the bird is a paid actor.
Took a few goes to get the shot, so he had a FEAST.
So, technically, the bird is a paid actor.
Took a few goes to get the shot, so he had a FEAST.
April 30, 2025 at 1:31 PM
I discovered that London starlings are BRAZEN little sods, so I filmed my hand holding a bit of a croissant by the Thames this morning, waited a few minutes, and screenshotted the best frame.
So, technically, the bird is a paid actor.
Took a few goes to get the shot, so he had a FEAST.
So, technically, the bird is a paid actor.
Took a few goes to get the shot, so he had a FEAST.
I don't know who great tits think they are kidding: that cleavage is obviously drawn on.
April 28, 2025 at 1:48 PM
I don't know who great tits think they are kidding: that cleavage is obviously drawn on.
I feel very inspired and strengthened by the Sheffield trans community and our allies today.
Well done, team.
Trans Joy Will Prevail.
Well done, team.
Trans Joy Will Prevail.
April 19, 2025 at 6:10 PM
I feel very inspired and strengthened by the Sheffield trans community and our allies today.
Well done, team.
Trans Joy Will Prevail.
Well done, team.
Trans Joy Will Prevail.
What a sad little life, Jean.
April 19, 2025 at 4:26 PM
What a sad little life, Jean.
The people who campaigned and petitioned for this ruling aren't afraid of trans people, they just think we're weird and disgusting.
It's not feminism, it's mean girl logic.
It's not "Please don't hurt us", it's "Ew, gross."
It's not feminism, it's mean girl logic.
It's not "Please don't hurt us", it's "Ew, gross."
April 19, 2025 at 9:54 AM
The people who campaigned and petitioned for this ruling aren't afraid of trans people, they just think we're weird and disgusting.
It's not feminism, it's mean girl logic.
It's not "Please don't hurt us", it's "Ew, gross."
It's not feminism, it's mean girl logic.
It's not "Please don't hurt us", it's "Ew, gross."
So, your "doves to release at funeral services" company needs a catchy name: how about...
All You Need Is Dove?
The Power Of Dove?
Eat Pray Dove?
No, I've got it...
All You Need Is Dove?
The Power Of Dove?
Eat Pray Dove?
No, I've got it...
March 22, 2025 at 12:10 PM
So, your "doves to release at funeral services" company needs a catchy name: how about...
All You Need Is Dove?
The Power Of Dove?
Eat Pray Dove?
No, I've got it...
All You Need Is Dove?
The Power Of Dove?
Eat Pray Dove?
No, I've got it...
I have really enjoyed myself at Leicester Comedy Festival - and special thanks to whoever emblazoned the back cover of their programme with this *even shitter* version of Live, Laugh, Love.
February 22, 2025 at 11:15 PM
I have really enjoyed myself at Leicester Comedy Festival - and special thanks to whoever emblazoned the back cover of their programme with this *even shitter* version of Live, Laugh, Love.