Tom Juniper🏳️⚧️
@tomjuniper.bsky.social
Your weird, AuDHD, trans auncle. Sometimes poems and stories, sometimes unsolicited info dumping.
I don't care if you talk about me as long as you do so using he/him or they/them pronouns.
I don't care if you talk about me as long as you do so using he/him or they/them pronouns.
Pinned
Tom Juniper🏳️⚧️
@tomjuniper.bsky.social
· Nov 30
My pronouns are he/him - as in masculine, and they!/them! - as in terrifying giant ants clawing out of the earth from mile-deep catacombs.
Sainsburys managers:
"What should we put on offer for our Chinese New Year Promotion?"
"Er, Korean condiments?"
"Yep, that's perfect!"
"What should we put on offer for our Chinese New Year Promotion?"
"Er, Korean condiments?"
"Yep, that's perfect!"
January 16, 2026 at 3:03 PM
Sainsburys managers:
"What should we put on offer for our Chinese New Year Promotion?"
"Er, Korean condiments?"
"Yep, that's perfect!"
"What should we put on offer for our Chinese New Year Promotion?"
"Er, Korean condiments?"
"Yep, that's perfect!"
Reposted by Tom Juniper🏳️⚧️
JK Rowling: hello children
Poe: oh hi joanne
Poe: do you have something to
Rowling: I have sssomething to sssay
Poe: is it about
Rowling: iran ssseemss to be unusssually full of gryffindorsss
Poe: oh hi joanne
Poe: do you have something to
Rowling: I have sssomething to sssay
Poe: is it about
Rowling: iran ssseemss to be unusssually full of gryffindorsss
January 11, 2026 at 7:03 PM
JK Rowling: hello children
Poe: oh hi joanne
Poe: do you have something to
Rowling: I have sssomething to sssay
Poe: is it about
Rowling: iran ssseemss to be unusssually full of gryffindorsss
Poe: oh hi joanne
Poe: do you have something to
Rowling: I have sssomething to sssay
Poe: is it about
Rowling: iran ssseemss to be unusssually full of gryffindorsss
Reposted by Tom Juniper🏳️⚧️
Welcome to BlueSky! Things are a little... different around here. (Instead of having a magic 8 ball sharting out porn, we all just yell at old episodes of Top of the Pops)
January 11, 2026 at 6:31 PM
Welcome to BlueSky! Things are a little... different around here. (Instead of having a magic 8 ball sharting out porn, we all just yell at old episodes of Top of the Pops)
Reposted by Tom Juniper🏳️⚧️
Update: not today, friends
When will everything stop being so fucking stupid
January 12, 2026 at 2:15 AM
Update: not today, friends
Reposted by Tom Juniper🏳️⚧️
We've got FOUR comedians to announce tomorrow. Two previous contestants and two brand new players. Award winners, Pun Champions and all brilliant.
TOMORROW
We announce the guests for What's in the Box? for Leicester Comedy Festival.
Book your tickets for this chaotic panel show. Fans of Taskmaster and Game Changer will love this shows energy. Reserve yours now for free!
events.comedy-festival.co.uk/events/whats...
We announce the guests for What's in the Box? for Leicester Comedy Festival.
Book your tickets for this chaotic panel show. Fans of Taskmaster and Game Changer will love this shows energy. Reserve yours now for free!
events.comedy-festival.co.uk/events/whats...
What’s in the Box? | Leicester Comedy Festival
events.comedy-festival.co.uk
January 5, 2026 at 7:43 PM
We've got FOUR comedians to announce tomorrow. Two previous contestants and two brand new players. Award winners, Pun Champions and all brilliant.
Reposted by Tom Juniper🏳️⚧️
'I constantly look in the mirror and remind myself I am a bitch. I am Donald's little Bitch Boy and I do everything he tells me because that's what bitches do.'
Keir Starmer: "I constantly remind myself that 24/7 our defence, our security & our intelligent relationship with the US matters probably more than any other relationship we've got in the world and it would not be in our national interest to weaken that in any way"
January 4, 2026 at 11:04 AM
'I constantly look in the mirror and remind myself I am a bitch. I am Donald's little Bitch Boy and I do everything he tells me because that's what bitches do.'
Reposted by Tom Juniper🏳️⚧️
Harry, My Cat Died. BBC News calling me a hacker. The 90108 joke. Muppet Les Mis. The fact Only Connect changed from Greek letters to Egyptian heiroglyphs. I've had a weird life.
What was your biggest impact on the internet?
January 1, 2026 at 9:00 AM
Harry, My Cat Died. BBC News calling me a hacker. The 90108 joke. Muppet Les Mis. The fact Only Connect changed from Greek letters to Egyptian heiroglyphs. I've had a weird life.
Reposted by Tom Juniper🏳️⚧️
2025 stats!
- 1,000 saw my shows in Edinburgh
- What's in the Box? most popular year
- lost a bit of finger, sight in one eye
- Headlined more than I've ever done (including Splendour Festival!)
- Council eventually found me a flat!
- Started writing for [2026 thing]
- #russelltoveyfuckeafysh
- 1,000 saw my shows in Edinburgh
- What's in the Box? most popular year
- lost a bit of finger, sight in one eye
- Headlined more than I've ever done (including Splendour Festival!)
- Council eventually found me a flat!
- Started writing for [2026 thing]
- #russelltoveyfuckeafysh
December 31, 2025 at 1:30 PM
2025 stats!
- 1,000 saw my shows in Edinburgh
- What's in the Box? most popular year
- lost a bit of finger, sight in one eye
- Headlined more than I've ever done (including Splendour Festival!)
- Council eventually found me a flat!
- Started writing for [2026 thing]
- #russelltoveyfuckeafysh
- 1,000 saw my shows in Edinburgh
- What's in the Box? most popular year
- lost a bit of finger, sight in one eye
- Headlined more than I've ever done (including Splendour Festival!)
- Council eventually found me a flat!
- Started writing for [2026 thing]
- #russelltoveyfuckeafysh
Reposted by Tom Juniper🏳️⚧️
Lunch 🍽️🍜: Rasam, a South Indian spicy broth served with rice. This is really delicious - sweet, sour, full of roasted spice notes.
I'm writing about Mulligatawny soup at the moment and this is the dish that inspired it, so it's valuable data! Recipe: www.indianhealthyrecipes.com/tomato-rasam...
I'm writing about Mulligatawny soup at the moment and this is the dish that inspired it, so it's valuable data! Recipe: www.indianhealthyrecipes.com/tomato-rasam...
December 31, 2025 at 1:36 PM
Lunch 🍽️🍜: Rasam, a South Indian spicy broth served with rice. This is really delicious - sweet, sour, full of roasted spice notes.
I'm writing about Mulligatawny soup at the moment and this is the dish that inspired it, so it's valuable data! Recipe: www.indianhealthyrecipes.com/tomato-rasam...
I'm writing about Mulligatawny soup at the moment and this is the dish that inspired it, so it's valuable data! Recipe: www.indianhealthyrecipes.com/tomato-rasam...
Reposted by Tom Juniper🏳️⚧️
I would like more writing opportunities in 2026. Are you part of a writing team? Hey, I'm available! Put in a good word for me! Credits include The Now Show, Mock the Week and helping TV comedians punch up their jokes. DMs are extremely open or you can email itsfrizfrizzle AT gmail DOT com.
December 30, 2025 at 4:04 PM
I would like more writing opportunities in 2026. Are you part of a writing team? Hey, I'm available! Put in a good word for me! Credits include The Now Show, Mock the Week and helping TV comedians punch up their jokes. DMs are extremely open or you can email itsfrizfrizzle AT gmail DOT com.
Reposted by Tom Juniper🏳️⚧️
If you fancy helping make the first few weeks of 2026 easier for me, please consider donating. Maybe three ghosts visited you to tell you to help your favourite disabled comedian with mutual aid! Anything is much appreciated. Have a lovely new year x
paypal.me/frizfrizzle
ko-fi.com/frizfrizzle
paypal.me/frizfrizzle
ko-fi.com/frizfrizzle
Pay Stephen Frizzle using PayPal.Me
Go to paypal.me/FrizFrizzle and type in the amount. Since it’s PayPal, it's easy and secure. Don’t have a PayPal account? No worries.
paypal.me
December 27, 2025 at 11:53 AM
If you fancy helping make the first few weeks of 2026 easier for me, please consider donating. Maybe three ghosts visited you to tell you to help your favourite disabled comedian with mutual aid! Anything is much appreciated. Have a lovely new year x
paypal.me/frizfrizzle
ko-fi.com/frizfrizzle
paypal.me/frizfrizzle
ko-fi.com/frizfrizzle
@vicmmic.bsky.social Here is a greedy starling!
I discovered that London starlings are BRAZEN little sods, so I filmed my hand holding a bit of a croissant by the Thames this morning, waited a few minutes, and screenshotted the best frame.
So, technically, the bird is a paid actor.
Took a few goes to get the shot, so he had a FEAST.
So, technically, the bird is a paid actor.
Took a few goes to get the shot, so he had a FEAST.
December 26, 2025 at 10:10 PM
@vicmmic.bsky.social Here is a greedy starling!
December 26, 2025 at 9:59 PM
December 26, 2025 at 9:54 PM
December 26, 2025 at 9:51 PM
Reposted by Tom Juniper🏳️⚧️
🍜🍽️ My very non-traditional Christmas dinner. A mezze of hummus, muhammara, orange and fennel tabbouleh, shakshouka and flatbread. All from the book Arabiyya by Reem Assil. Turned out exactly how I wanted.
Happy Christmas to all who celebrate, however you celebrate! 🌲❤️
Happy Christmas to all who celebrate, however you celebrate! 🌲❤️
December 25, 2025 at 3:44 PM
🍜🍽️ My very non-traditional Christmas dinner. A mezze of hummus, muhammara, orange and fennel tabbouleh, shakshouka and flatbread. All from the book Arabiyya by Reem Assil. Turned out exactly how I wanted.
Happy Christmas to all who celebrate, however you celebrate! 🌲❤️
Happy Christmas to all who celebrate, however you celebrate! 🌲❤️
Reposted by Tom Juniper🏳️⚧️
It's Christmas Eve which means it is time to share the best Christmas essay ever written.
The thought process of Miss Piggy in the last five minutes of The Muppets Christmas Carol
My husband’s boss, the man who has harassed the gentle man I love every day for years and has belittled our family to the extent that we live in indentured servitude while I attempt to care for our di...
sentimentalgarbage.substack.com
December 24, 2025 at 2:58 PM
It's Christmas Eve which means it is time to share the best Christmas essay ever written.
Reposted by Tom Juniper🏳️⚧️
We bought this knockoff lager from Aldi which @tomjuniper.bsky.social has deemed "Klonenburg"
December 24, 2025 at 4:28 PM
We bought this knockoff lager from Aldi which @tomjuniper.bsky.social has deemed "Klonenburg"
Reposted by Tom Juniper🏳️⚧️
Reposted by Tom Juniper🏳️⚧️
Jamiroquai when Jamiro vewwy sad
December 23, 2025 at 5:19 PM
Jamiroquai when Jamiro vewwy sad
Reposted by Tom Juniper🏳️⚧️
Read about my top ten dishes of 2025! If you enjoy the way I write about food, you can subscribe to my substack for free to get updated whenever I post a new article. 🍜
open.substack.com/pub/niamhhal...
open.substack.com/pub/niamhhal...
Niamh's Top Dishes of 2025
My ten favourite international dishes this year
open.substack.com
December 23, 2025 at 1:29 PM
Read about my top ten dishes of 2025! If you enjoy the way I write about food, you can subscribe to my substack for free to get updated whenever I post a new article. 🍜
open.substack.com/pub/niamhhal...
open.substack.com/pub/niamhhal...
The Sally-Anne Test, a critique.
NTs: "With this test, we can prove that autistic people have no theory of mind!"
Autistic child: "Mate, call these 2 bits of plastic in dresses "Sally" and "Anne" all you want. Neither one of them knows where a damn marble is.
However, I, a human, do."
NTs: "With this test, we can prove that autistic people have no theory of mind!"
Autistic child: "Mate, call these 2 bits of plastic in dresses "Sally" and "Anne" all you want. Neither one of them knows where a damn marble is.
However, I, a human, do."
December 23, 2025 at 9:17 PM
The Sally-Anne Test, a critique.
NTs: "With this test, we can prove that autistic people have no theory of mind!"
Autistic child: "Mate, call these 2 bits of plastic in dresses "Sally" and "Anne" all you want. Neither one of them knows where a damn marble is.
However, I, a human, do."
NTs: "With this test, we can prove that autistic people have no theory of mind!"
Autistic child: "Mate, call these 2 bits of plastic in dresses "Sally" and "Anne" all you want. Neither one of them knows where a damn marble is.
However, I, a human, do."
Elf On The Shelf parents, beware.
My colleague's kid (5) has figured out a *genius* loophole:
Do crimes, blame elf.
"Oh, you DON'T believe the elf did a 5' X 5' Sharpie mural in the living room 3 days before Christmas, Mum? Why not? After all, he's been at this shit ALL MONTH!"
The perfect crime.
My colleague's kid (5) has figured out a *genius* loophole:
Do crimes, blame elf.
"Oh, you DON'T believe the elf did a 5' X 5' Sharpie mural in the living room 3 days before Christmas, Mum? Why not? After all, he's been at this shit ALL MONTH!"
The perfect crime.
December 23, 2025 at 8:35 PM
Elf On The Shelf parents, beware.
My colleague's kid (5) has figured out a *genius* loophole:
Do crimes, blame elf.
"Oh, you DON'T believe the elf did a 5' X 5' Sharpie mural in the living room 3 days before Christmas, Mum? Why not? After all, he's been at this shit ALL MONTH!"
The perfect crime.
My colleague's kid (5) has figured out a *genius* loophole:
Do crimes, blame elf.
"Oh, you DON'T believe the elf did a 5' X 5' Sharpie mural in the living room 3 days before Christmas, Mum? Why not? After all, he's been at this shit ALL MONTH!"
The perfect crime.
Every year, I forget about this heartwarming Christmas fable, which I wrote many years ago.
And, every year, @germoorkensbyrne.bsky.social reminds me. Cheers, Ger!
And, every year, @germoorkensbyrne.bsky.social reminds me. Cheers, Ger!
December 23, 2025 at 4:51 PM
Every year, I forget about this heartwarming Christmas fable, which I wrote many years ago.
And, every year, @germoorkensbyrne.bsky.social reminds me. Cheers, Ger!
And, every year, @germoorkensbyrne.bsky.social reminds me. Cheers, Ger!
Reposted by Tom Juniper🏳️⚧️
shout out the guardian photo editor one time
December 20, 2025 at 10:44 AM
shout out the guardian photo editor one time