do NOT let them make you do this bruh

but i also feel a lot of self loathing so none of it feels attainable. but i need to get better starting conditions rhan those somehow so i can win instead of feeding into my failure every time

i guess i need to utilise my system way more than we thought. and i should just focus on doing whatevers next to do tomorrow. rather than stressing about the end result

then on wednesday i plan my weeks from this one forward so i can get all my shit done

dw if yoi camt get through all of them now or somthing

i dont want to be anywhere where im needed. or required. its like ill never get over my issues with being expected to do anything ever. i can only give it everything ive got or nothing at all. i dont know. what do i do. i cant do it like this. its not sustainable. im not making it in this form

okay im much better now ive been chugging so much water + ate a bit of something to help and i feel way more lucid. hopefully my hangover isnt too bad then cause i do not like those